Valley of the Sun Casual Club
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If you wanted to look at the Magic Star . You will see that it is in the forum F6 . If you click F6 you wiil see just those 12 forums . Then you can look in each one at all the topics in them .


F1 ALL MEMBERS BRIEFLY INTRODUCE YOURSELF
2015 NEW ANNOUNCEMENTS

F2 Valley of the Sun CC SITE AND FORUM GUILDELINES
VOTSCC TOURNAMENT MAKING GUIDE
VOTSCC OUR WGT CC BASIC PROTOCOL

F3 Valley of the Sun CC HALL OF FAME REPLAY BLOOPERS
Valley of the Sun CC BEST OF REPLAYS

F4 WORLD CLOCK

F5 RECENT TOURNEY WINNERS
VOTSCC "KICK ASS" 100,000 POINT CLUB MEMBERS

F6 FORUM FOR PAGE 3 & SAT & SUN BRACKETS & TOURNEY INFO HERE
FLASH MOB & ECGA POKER & MY LEAGUE POOL HALL PROS
PERFECT GOLF
LEXMARK 2500 CREDIT TOURNEY
CLASH RULES AND RESULTS
BLITZ OFFICIAL RULES
DAILY BLITZ SCORES ONLY
THE MAGIC STAR
CHALLENGING THE KING
VOTSCC INTERPLAY CC VS CC MATCHES
ACE'S " Best of the Alternate Shot Championship "
JUNE28 RATTLESNAKE ALT SHOT

F7 VALLEY OF THE FUN
CRAZY WGT SHIT
DON"T CHOKE IT "JOKE IT "

F8 FORUM OF HOW TO'S
TIPS FROM THE DOCTOR OF TECHNOLOGY AZDEWARS
WGT GAME TIPS & TRICKS

F9 Current Events ,,Announcemets , Bulletin Board Part 1
AZ "HOT SHOTS" REMEMBERED
HIGH FIVES TO THE SKIES
RANDOM SELFLESS ACTS OF KINDNESS

F10 VOTSCC CC CLUBHOUSE
CC CART GIRL
TOURNEY TALK
GET YOUR CC TOURNEY ON

F11 CHAT ? ANYONE HERE TO CHAT WITH ?

F12 ANYTHING ELSE ?
DAVID LANES KICK ASS GALLERY OF ART
FORUM OF OLD WGT FORUM POST'S (archives)
HEY JOE
OFF THE WALL , THX FOR A WALL OF A GOOD TIME
Gallery
Click on Gallery in toolbar above to see Galleries

FORUM UPDATE
THIS FORUM IS FOR YOU ALL . PLEASE FEEL LIKE IT IS YOURS . READ THE FORUMS. POST COMMENTS . ASK QUESTIONS . IF YOU HAVE A COMPLAINT POST IT . MAKE SUGGESTIONS . READ SOME TUTORIALS . READ SOME GOLF TIPS . CHECK RECENT TOURNEY WINNERS . BROWSE OUR OLD FORUM ARCHIVES . LOG IN TO THE CHAT AND MESSAGE SOMEONE TO MEET YOU THERE AND ARRANGE A MATCH . LOG IN TO THE CHAT TO SEE IF SOMEONE IS THERE JUST TO SAY HI . MESSAGE ME IF YOU WANT TO GET ON THE DAILY BLITZ .
THE BLITZ SCORECARD IS ON Page 3 PLEASE CLICK HERE
TO FIND THE COURSE OF THE DAY AND SEE
THE WEEKLY STANDINGS . PLEASE POST
YOUR SCORES HERE. IN THIS

Bilko’s Putting Calc
Here is a link to Bilko's Putting Calc and Wind Calc
Just download and install
Owner’s Objectives

It's been a while since I expressed some of my objectives for the CC . First of all I like and respect everyone that joins our club . I realize that not everyone knows what a CC is all about . Many have different reasons for joining . I really don't know how many of the other clubs are run . They are all different . What I want to emphasize in our CC is that whatever tier you are . That you feel comfortable here , part of a team of players that come here to find conditions that enable them to improve their game , hone their skills , lower their scores ,lower their averages , move up in tiers . Enjoyably and comfortably with the conditions that challenge them enough to keep that drive without the frustrationsof regular game play . All that is completely possible by either creating those tourneys yourself or by messaging me about it . Or someone else in your tier that has been creating tourneys . Any kind of information that you need to know should be provided here , any kind of appp , calculator , help , tutorial , tournament , statistic , message , opinion , gripe , compliment , etc , etc . Should able to be aqcuired here ( or in our website , as it may be easier there ). With your help , all of this can be done easily . We already have a good start . I am going to be here for a very long time trying to achieve all this . For any of you that think it's a good direction for your CC to go in . Then lets keep on keepin on . Sincerely , Your Co team member PDB1 , Paul ( sitting here on a rare rainy day ) May the SUN always be with you
POST OF THE WEEK

Re: Where are the Flags ?By Bertasion in Valley of the Sun Casual Club The other day upon the heather fair I hit a flagstick that was not there. I saw it's shadow and heard the clank but where it stood was just a blank. It was not there again today. I wonder when it will come back and stay. Brian
BLITZ LIST
HERE IS THE LIST OF BLITZ COURSES IN THE ORDER THEY ARE PLAYED EVERY WEEK OF EVERY SEASON .

DAILY BLITZ WEEKLY SCHEDULE



WEEK 1

BEST OF BANDON PAR 3
PEBBLE BEACH
THE OLYMPIC CLUB
VAHALLA
MERION


WEEK 2

PINEHURST NO.2
HARBOUR TOWN
KIAWAH ISLAND
ROYAL ST. GEORGE
CONGRESSIONAL


WEEK 3

ERIN HILLS
ST. ANDREWS
BALI HAI
CELTIC MANOR
BETHPAGE BLACK


WEEK 4

PINEHURST NO. 8
WOLF CREEK
CHALLANGE AT MANELE
EXPERIENCE AT KOELE
HILVERSUMSCHE


WEEK 5

EDGEWOOD TAHOE
BEST OF WATER SHOTS
BEST OF FAMOUS SHOTS
BEST OF PUTTING
CHAMBERS BAY

TIER & AVERAGE REQUIREMENTS
BASIC LEVEL AND AVERAGE REQUIREMENTS , AND SATURATION

You need to play at least 5 ranked rounds as hack to saturate & be eligible for Amateur.
When your average score is equal or smaller than 100 you go from Hack to Amateur.

You need to play at least 10 ranked rounds as amateur to saturate & be eligible for Pro.
When your average score is equal or smaller than 80 you go from Amateur to Pro..

You need to play at least 20 ranked rounds as Pro to saturate & be eligible for Tour Pro.
When your average score is equal or smaller than 72 you go from pro to Tour Pro.

You need to play at least 25 ranked rounds as Tour pro to saturate & be eligible for Master.
When your average score is equal or smaller than 67 you go from Tour Pro to Master.

You need to play at least 40 ranked rounds as Master to saturate & be eligible for Tour Master.
When your average score is equal or smaller than 63 you go from Master to Tour Master.

You need to play at least 50 ranked rounds as Tour Master to saturate & be eligible for Legend.
When your average score is equal or smaller than 61 you go from Tour Master to Legend.

You need to play at least 500 ranked rounds as Legend to to saturate & be eligible for Tour Legend.
When your average score is equal or smaller than 60 you go from Legend to Tour Legend.

You need to play at least 200 ranked rounds as Tour Legend to to saturate & be eligible for Champion .
When your average score is equal or smaller than 59 you go from Tour Legend to Champion .

You need to play another 200 ranked rounds as a Champion to saturate .

You need to jump through 10,000 hoops before you receive an exclusive personal invitation before reaching Tour Champion.

May the SUN always be with you

Satur4day 11/14 Jokes

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subject title Satur4day 11/14 Jokes

Post by JimQ916 on Sat 14 Nov 2015, 14:12

Hi all...here are some jokes to brighten up your day. I apologize of some are repeated from my earlier jokes but none the less they're funny as all heck....enjoy....Jim
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Part of me says I can't keep drinking like this.  The other part of me says, "Don't listen to her, she's drunk."
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"Hey," said a new arrival in the pub, "I've got some great Irish jokes." "Before you start," said the big bloke in the corner, ", I'm Irish." "Don't worry," said the newcomer, "I'll tell them slowly."
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A deputy police officer responded to a report of a bar room disturbance. The "disturbance" turned out to be well over six feet tall and weighed almost 300 pounds. What's more, he boasted that he could whip the deputy and Muhammad Ali too. Said the policeman, "I'll bet that you're also an escape artist, probably better than Houdini. "The giant nodded. "If I had some chains," the deputy continued, "you could show us how strong you really are. But all I've got is a set of handcuffs. Why don't you see just how quickly you can break out of them?" Once in the cuffs, the man puffed, pulled and jerked for four minutes. "I can't get out of these," the giant growled. "Are you sure?" the deputy asked. The fellow tried again. "Nope," he replied. "I can't do it." "In that case," said the deputy, "you're under arrest."
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A guy walks into a store and says to the manager "Why doesn't your store have a name?" the store manager says, "I haven't thought of one yet but I think you can help me, what's your girlfriend's name." The guy says "Jenny" then the store owner says, "What do you like most about Jenny?" and the guy says "her legs." So the store manager says "okay, that's what we'll call my store, Jenny's Legs. Here's a coupon come back tomorrow morning and you can have a free drink." And the man says "okay." The next day the man comes back to the store banging on the window yelling "Where's my free drink, where's my free drink!" Then a police officer comes up to him and says, "What are you doing?" and the guy says "I'm waiting for Jenny's Legs to open up."
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A mangy looking guy goes into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender says: "No way. I don't think you can pay for it." The guy says, "You're right. I don't have any money, but if I show you something you haven't seen before, will you give me a drink?" The bartender says, "Only if what you show me ain't risqué." "Deal!" says the guy and reaches into his coat pocket and pulls out a hamster. He puts the hamster on the bar and it runs to the end of bar, down the bar, across the room, up the piano, jumps on the key board and starts playing Gershwin songs and the hamster is really good. The bartender says, "You're right. I've never seen anything like that before. That hamster is truly good on the piano." The guy downs the drink and asks the bartender for another. "Money or another miracle, or else no drink", says the bartender. The guy reaches into his coat again and pulls out a frog. He puts the frog on the bar, and the frog starts to sing. He has a marvelous voice and great pitch. A fine singer. A stranger from the other end of the bar runs over to the guy and offers him $300 for the frog. The guy says "It's a deal." He takes the three hundred and gives the stranger the frog. The stranger runs out of the bar. The bartender says to the guy, "Are you some kind of nut? You sold a singing frog for $300? It must have been worth millions. You must be crazy." "Not so," says the guy. "The hamster is also a ventriloquist."
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A man was sitting at a bar enjoying an after-work cocktail when an exceptionally gorgeous & sexy young woman entered. She was so striking that the man could not take his eyes away from her. The young woman noticed his overly-attentive stare & walked directly toward him. Before he could offer his apologies for being so rude, the young woman said to him, I'll do anything, absolutely anything, that you want me to do, no matter how kinky, for $100 on one condition. 'Flabbergasted, the man asked what the condition was. The young woman replied, 'You have to tell me what you want me to do in just three words. 'The man considered her proposition for a moment, withdrew his wallet from his pocket & slowly counted out five $20 bills, which he pressed into the young woman's hand. He looked deeply into her eyes & slowly, meaningfully said...'Paint my house.'
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A drunk was floundering down the alley carrying a box with holes on the side. He bumped into a friend who asked, "What do you have in there, pal?"
"A mongoose."
"What for?"
"Well, you know how drunk I can get. When I drink, I see snakes, and I'm scared to death of snakes. That's why I got this mongoose, for protection."
"You idiot," the friend said. "Those are imaginary snakes."
"That's okay," said the drunk, showing his friend the interior of the box. "So is the mongoose."
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This guy goes into a bar and orders a beer. As he sits drinking, he notices a peanut jump out of the dish before him. The peanut proceeds to talk, "hey there buddy," it hollers, "you're looking mighty fine tonight!" The guy can't believe what he is seeing. 'This sure is some strong beer!' He thinks to himself before getting up to go to the toilet. On his way back to the bar, the guy walks past a cigarette machine which appears to speak, "hey asshole, go screw yourself!" it yells. The guy can't believe it and decides to ask the bartender what's going on. "Hey bartender, I swear to god that one of those peanuts over there just started a conversation with me and on the way back from the men's room, your cigarette machine just swore at me.'' "Let me explain," replies the bartender "the peanuts are complimentary and the cigarette machine is out of order."
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One day, this guy walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a drink. Then he asks for another.  After a couple more drinks, the bartender gets worried.  "What's the matter?", the bartender asks. "My wife and I got into a fight," explained the guy, "and now she is refusing to talk to me for a whole 31 days." The bartender thought about this for a while. "But, isn't it a good thing that she isn't talking to you?", asked the bartender. " Yeah, except tonight is the last night."
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A man is in a bar, falling off his stool every couple of minutes. He is obviously drunk.
So the bartender says to another man in the bar: "Why don't you be a good Samaritan and take him home?"
The man takes the drunk out the door and to his car, and he stumbles at least ten times. They drive along and the drunk points out his house to the man. He stops the car and the drunk stumbles up the steps to his house with the man.The drunk's wife greets them at the door.
"Why thank you for bringing him home for me," she says, "but where is his wheel chair?"
***********************************
Bud and Jim were a couple of drinking buddies who worked as airplane mechanics in Atlanta. One day the airport was fogged in and they were stuck in the hanger with nothing to do.
Bud said, "Man, I wish we had something to drink!"
Jim says, "Me too. Y'know, I've heard you can drink jet fuel and get a buzz. You wanna try it?"
So they pour themselves a couple of glasses of high octane hooch and get completely smashed.
The next morning, Bud wakes up and is surprised at how good he feels. In fact, he feels GREAT! No hangover! NO bad side effects, Nothing!
Then the phone rings. It's Jim. Jim says, "Hey, how do you feel this morning?"
Bud says, "I feel great. How about you?"
Jim says, "I feel great, too. You don't have a hangover?"
Bud says, "No, that jet fuel is great stuff - no hangover - nothing."
"We ought to do this more often."
"Yeah, well, there's just one thing...."
"What's that?"
"Have you farted yet?"
"No....."
"Well, DON'T - 'cause I'm in Phoenix!!!"
**************************************
It seems a gentleman had too much alcohol at a party, was heading home, and was pulled over by a state trooper. Upon being tested, the fellow couldn't walk a straight line any more than he could drive one, so the trooper wrote out a ticket and had just given it to the driver before an accident in the opposite lane took his attention to more important matters. The inebriated driver, figuring that the trooper wasn't coming back to him, drove home and went to bed. He was awakened in the morning by a knock at the door, created by two more state troopers. "Are you Mr. Johnson?" they asked? He admitted that he was. "Were you pulled over at Main Street last night for driving under the influence?" Again, the man admitted that was he. "And what did you do then," the troopers asked. The man replied that he drove his car home and went to bed. "Where is your car now?" the troopers enquired. The man answered that it was in the garage. "May we see the car?" asked the troopers. The man answered, "Sure," and opened the garage. Inside the garage was the state troopers car.
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Monahan stumbled into a saloon, half crocked. "Say," he said to the bartender, "how tall is a penguin?" "About two and a half feet." "Thank God!" cried Monahan. "I thought I ran over a nun!"
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OK, so a man walks into a bar with a large box, the bar tender goes up to him and asks "whats in the box?" The man says "I'll show ya' if you get me a beer." So of course the bar tender gets the man a beer, the man drinks it, and he pulls out a little foot tall man and he pulls out a little piano. The little man starts playing the piano! Next the bar tender asks "hey! thats pretty cool, where did ya' get that?" The man says "I'll tell ya' if you get me another beer." So the bar tender gets the man another beer, the man drinks it, and he says "I got it from a genie and a lamp." The bar tender says "If ya' let me barrow that genie and that lamp I'll give ya' another beer." The man says "Oh, Okay!" The bar tender gets the man another beer, the man drinks it, and the man gives the bar tender the lamp. The bar tender rubs the lamp and the genie pops out! The genie says "Master, I grant you one wish, what is it?" The bar tender says "I wish for a million bucks!!!" And all of a sudden a million ducks start flying into the room. "What the heck is this!!! I wished for a million bucks not a million ducks!!!" And the man says "Well did you think I wished for a 12 inched pianist?"
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This bloke went into a nightclub and saw a gorgeous honey sitting by herself at the bar, he asked her to dance. She agreed and they took to the dance floor for a slow one. While they were cheek to cheek, the guy said, "You really smell terrific. What's that you have on?" The flattered girl told him it was Chanel #5. Then wanting to return the compliment, she said, "You smell good, too. What is it that you have on?" "Well, I've got a hard on, but I didn't think you could smell it," the guy replied.
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A guy walks into a bar with a dog under his arm, puts the dog on the bar and announces that the dog can talk and that he has $100 he's willing to bet anyone who says he can't. The bartender quickly takes the bet and the owner looks at the dog and asks, "What's the thing on top of this building which keeps the rain from coming inside?" The dog answers "ROOF." The bartender says, "Who are you kidding? I'm not paying." The dogs owner says, "How about double or nothing and I'll ask him something else." The bartender agrees and the owner turns to the dog and asks, "Who was the greatest ballplayer of all time?" The dog answers with a muffled "RUTH." With that the bartender picks them both up and throws them out the door. As they bounce on the sidewalk, the dog looks at his owner and says, "DiMaggio?"
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Frank and Bubba were driving home from the bar when Frank noticed blue lights flashing in his rearview mirror. Bubba got scared stiff and started freaking out because of the beers they had in their laps. Frank told Bubba just to be quiet, do what he does, and let him do the talking. Frank then ripped the label off his beer, licked the back of it and slapped it onto his forehead. Bubba went right along and did the same.
The officer walked up to the truck and asked, "Have you had anything to drink tonight?" Frank replied, "No sir. Not a drop." The officer looked confused and said, "You sure?" "Yep," said Frank. The officer in a mad voice said, "Then what's that on y'all's forehead?"
Frank said calmly, "We're alcoholics and our doctor said it would be best if we were on the patch."
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A Cop pulled a car over for speeding. When the Cop asked the driver why he was traveling 95 mph, the driver answered that he was a juggler on his way to do a show for a birthday party and didn't want to be late. The Cop told the driver he was fascinated by juggling, and if the driver would do a little juggling for him that he wouldn't give him a ticket. The driver told the Cop that he had sent all of his equipment on ahead and didn't have anything to juggle. The Cop told him that he had some flares in the trunk of his patrol car, and asked if he could juggle them. The juggler stated that he could, so the Cop got three flares, lit them and handed them to the juggler. While the man was doing his juggling act, a car pulled in behind the patrol car. A drunk got out, watched the performance briefly, went over to the patrol car, opened the rear door and got in. The Cop observed him doing this, and went over to the patrol car, opened the door and asked the drunk what he thought he was doing. The drunk replied, "You might as well haul my butt to jail, cause there's NO way I'll pass that test."
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Two Irishmen were walking home after a night on the town when a severed head rolled along the ground. Mick picked it up and said to Paddy "Jeez, that look's like Sean," to which Paddy replied, "No, Sean was taller than that."
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Two Poles, Markowski and Krachevski go to France on a pleasure trip. They meet this Frenchman called Jean Paul and become good pals. Jean Paul finds these two Poles some-what amusing and so he goes all out to make them happy. He treats them at pubs and bars. This goes on for a while until one fine day Jean Paul does not turn up. The Poles assume that some important work would have held him up and do not take a serious note of it. But, perhaps something was serious as Jean Paul does not turn up for next five days. At this, the Poles get alarmed and go to the police station to lodge a report. The inspector asks them to give details of the person who's missing. The conversation follows:
Markowski: Well, his name is Jean Paul.
Inspector: It's a very common name in France. Something more please.
Krachevski: Well, he is very tall.
Inspector: Most of the people in France are tall. Big deal.
Markowski: Well, he's got blue eyes.
Inspector: Oh! no. Something more substantial.
Krachevski: I got it. This is slightly uncommon. I'm sure now you shall be able to track him. You see, He's got two holes in his ass.
Inspector: (shocked): Well, well, that's curious. Are you sure?
Krachevski: Ya! Ya!
Inspector: Are you definitely sure that this very personal info you have is CORRECT?
Krachevski: Most certainly.
Inspector (still skeptical): But how're you so sure?
Krachevski: Simple. Whenever we used to go with him to the bar, everyone used to greet him as "Here comes Jean Paul with the two ass-holes!"
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Some people are sitting in a bar when one guy says, "My name is Larry, and I'm a SNAG." Another guy says, "What's that?" The first guy says, "That means I'm a Single, New Age Guy." Another one says, "My name is Gary, and I'm a DINK. A girl asks, "What's that?" He says, "That means I'm a Double Income, No Kids." A lady says, "That's nice. My name is Gertrude, and I'm a WIFE." Larry says, "A WIFE? What's a WIFE?" She says, "That means, "Wash, Iron, Fuk, Etc."
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JimQ916

Posts : 367
Join date : 2014-12-31

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