Valley of the Sun Casual Club
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Forum Updated Index

If you wanted to look at the Magic Star . You will see that it is in the forum F6 . If you click F6 you wiil see just those 12 forums . Then you can look in each one at all the topics in them .


F1 ALL MEMBERS BRIEFLY INTRODUCE YOURSELF
2015 NEW ANNOUNCEMENTS

F2 Valley of the Sun CC SITE AND FORUM GUILDELINES
VOTSCC TOURNAMENT MAKING GUIDE
VOTSCC OUR WGT CC BASIC PROTOCOL

F3 Valley of the Sun CC HALL OF FAME REPLAY BLOOPERS
Valley of the Sun CC BEST OF REPLAYS

F4 WORLD CLOCK

F5 RECENT TOURNEY WINNERS
VOTSCC "KICK ASS" 100,000 POINT CLUB MEMBERS

F6 FORUM FOR PAGE 3 & SAT & SUN BRACKETS & TOURNEY INFO HERE
FLASH MOB & ECGA POKER & MY LEAGUE POOL HALL PROS
PERFECT GOLF
LEXMARK 2500 CREDIT TOURNEY
CLASH RULES AND RESULTS
BLITZ OFFICIAL RULES
DAILY BLITZ SCORES ONLY
THE MAGIC STAR
CHALLENGING THE KING
VOTSCC INTERPLAY CC VS CC MATCHES
ACE'S " Best of the Alternate Shot Championship "
JUNE28 RATTLESNAKE ALT SHOT

F7 VALLEY OF THE FUN
CRAZY WGT SHIT
DON"T CHOKE IT "JOKE IT "

F8 FORUM OF HOW TO'S
TIPS FROM THE DOCTOR OF TECHNOLOGY AZDEWARS
WGT GAME TIPS & TRICKS

F9 Current Events ,,Announcemets , Bulletin Board Part 1
AZ "HOT SHOTS" REMEMBERED
HIGH FIVES TO THE SKIES
RANDOM SELFLESS ACTS OF KINDNESS

F10 VOTSCC CC CLUBHOUSE
CC CART GIRL
TOURNEY TALK
GET YOUR CC TOURNEY ON

F11 CHAT ? ANYONE HERE TO CHAT WITH ?

F12 ANYTHING ELSE ?
DAVID LANES KICK ASS GALLERY OF ART
FORUM OF OLD WGT FORUM POST'S (archives)
HEY JOE
OFF THE WALL , THX FOR A WALL OF A GOOD TIME
Gallery
Click on Gallery in toolbar above to see Galleries

FORUM UPDATE
THIS FORUM IS FOR YOU ALL . PLEASE FEEL LIKE IT IS YOURS . READ THE FORUMS. POST COMMENTS . ASK QUESTIONS . IF YOU HAVE A COMPLAINT POST IT . MAKE SUGGESTIONS . READ SOME TUTORIALS . READ SOME GOLF TIPS . CHECK RECENT TOURNEY WINNERS . BROWSE OUR OLD FORUM ARCHIVES . LOG IN TO THE CHAT AND MESSAGE SOMEONE TO MEET YOU THERE AND ARRANGE A MATCH . LOG IN TO THE CHAT TO SEE IF SOMEONE IS THERE JUST TO SAY HI . MESSAGE ME IF YOU WANT TO GET ON THE DAILY BLITZ .
THE BLITZ SCORECARD IS ON Page 3 PLEASE CLICK HERE
TO FIND THE COURSE OF THE DAY AND SEE
THE WEEKLY STANDINGS . PLEASE POST
YOUR SCORES HERE. IN THIS

Bilko’s Putting Calc
Here is a link to Bilko's Putting Calc and Wind Calc
Just download and install
Owner’s Objectives

It's been a while since I expressed some of my objectives for the CC . First of all I like and respect everyone that joins our club . I realize that not everyone knows what a CC is all about . Many have different reasons for joining . I really don't know how many of the other clubs are run . They are all different . What I want to emphasize in our CC is that whatever tier you are . That you feel comfortable here , part of a team of players that come here to find conditions that enable them to improve their game , hone their skills , lower their scores ,lower their averages , move up in tiers . Enjoyably and comfortably with the conditions that challenge them enough to keep that drive without the frustrationsof regular game play . All that is completely possible by either creating those tourneys yourself or by messaging me about it . Or someone else in your tier that has been creating tourneys . Any kind of information that you need to know should be provided here , any kind of appp , calculator , help , tutorial , tournament , statistic , message , opinion , gripe , compliment , etc , etc . Should able to be aqcuired here ( or in our website , as it may be easier there ). With your help , all of this can be done easily . We already have a good start . I am going to be here for a very long time trying to achieve all this . For any of you that think it's a good direction for your CC to go in . Then lets keep on keepin on . Sincerely , Your Co team member PDB1 , Paul ( sitting here on a rare rainy day ) May the SUN always be with you
POST OF THE WEEK

Re: Where are the Flags ?By Bertasion in Valley of the Sun Casual Club The other day upon the heather fair I hit a flagstick that was not there. I saw it's shadow and heard the clank but where it stood was just a blank. It was not there again today. I wonder when it will come back and stay. Brian
BLITZ LIST
HERE IS THE LIST OF BLITZ COURSES IN THE ORDER THEY ARE PLAYED EVERY WEEK OF EVERY SEASON .

DAILY BLITZ WEEKLY SCHEDULE



WEEK 1

BEST OF BANDON PAR 3
PEBBLE BEACH
THE OLYMPIC CLUB
VAHALLA
MERION


WEEK 2

PINEHURST NO.2
HARBOUR TOWN
KIAWAH ISLAND
ROYAL ST. GEORGE
CONGRESSIONAL


WEEK 3

ERIN HILLS
ST. ANDREWS
BALI HAI
CELTIC MANOR
BETHPAGE BLACK


WEEK 4

PINEHURST NO. 8
WOLF CREEK
CHALLANGE AT MANELE
EXPERIENCE AT KOELE
HILVERSUMSCHE


WEEK 5

EDGEWOOD TAHOE
BEST OF WATER SHOTS
BEST OF FAMOUS SHOTS
BEST OF PUTTING
CHAMBERS BAY

TIER & AVERAGE REQUIREMENTS
BASIC LEVEL AND AVERAGE REQUIREMENTS

You need to play at least 5 ranked rounds as hack before reaching Amateur.
When your average score is equal or smaller than 100 you go from Hack to Amateur.

You need to play at least 10 ranked rounds as amateur before reaching Pro.
When it is equal or smaller than 80 you go from Amateur to Pro..

You need to play at least 20 ranked rounds as Pro before reaching Tour Pro.
When it is equal or smaller than 72 you go from pro to Tour Pro.

You need to play at least 25 ranked rounds as Tour pro before reaching Master.
When it is equal or smaller than 67 you go from Tour Pro to Master.

You need to play at least 40 ranked rounds as Master before reaching Tour Master.
When it is equal or smaller than 63 you go from Master to Tour Master.

You need to play at least 50 ranked rounds as Tour Master before reaching Legend.
When it is equal or smaller than 61 you go from Tour Master to Legend.

You need to play at least 500 ranked rounds as Legend to saturated ( average stops going up ) before reaching Tour Legend.
When it is equal or smaller than 60 you go from Legend to Tour Legend.

You need to play at least 200 ranked rounds as Tour Legend to saturate ( average stops going up ).
When it is equal or smaller than 60 you go from Tour Legend to Champion.

You need to play an additional 200 ranked rounds as Tour Legend before reaching Champion.


You need to play another 200 ranked rounds as a Champion to saturate ( average stops going up ).


You need to play an undisclosed number of additional rounds and receive an exclusive personal invitation before reaching Tour Champion.

Saturday 11/28 Humor

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subject title Saturday 11/28 Humor

Post by JimQ916 on Sat 28 Nov 2015, 15:40

A man walks into a bar. After buying a beer he looks around the bar and sees three men and a dog playing cards. Amazed, the man wanders over and starts watching the game. After watching the game for ten minutes, the man leans over to one of the other player's and whispers, "Wow, that's a really smart dog!" The player whispers backs, "He isn't that smart, every time he gets a good hand, he wags his tail!"
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A rather confident man walks into a bar and takes a seat next to a very attractive woman. He gives her a quick glance, then casually looks at his new iWatch for a moment. The woman notices this and asks, "Is your date running late?" "No," he replies, "I work for Apple and I'm testing the new iWatch Pro." The intrigued woman says, "iWatch Pro? What's so special about it?" "It has new sensors and sends messages to me through my wrist" he explains. "What's it telling you now?" she asked. "Well, it says you're not wearing any panties." he said. The woman giggles and replies, "Well it must be broken then because I am wearing panties!" The man explains, "Damn thing must be an hour fast."
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A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel on the front of his pants. The bartender asks, "What's with the wheel?" The pirate says, "Arrrr! It drives me nuts!"
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There was a Scotsman and he was too drunk to walk home from the bar. He decides to lay down a park bench and sleep. Tomorrow he would walk home after he was sober. In the morning two little girls are walking by to go to school when they see he is wearing his kilt. One of the little girls get curious and decide to lift up his kilt. They see he's not wearing anything under his kilt so one of the little girls takes a blue ribbon out of her hair and ties it around his thing in a nice little bow. They put his kilt back down and go to school. A little while after the man wakes up and natures calling. He finds the nearest bush, lifts up his kilt and looks down. He says in his Sottish accent, "I don't know where ya been but ya won first prize."
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John Smith lived in Staten Island, New York and worked in Manhattan. He had to take the ferryboat home every night. One evening, he got down to the ferry and found that there was a wait for the next boat, so John decided to stop at a nearby tavern. Before long he was feeling no pain.  When he got back to the ferry slip, the ferryboat was just eight feet from the dock. Smith, afraid of missing this one and being late for dinner, took a running leap and landed right on the deck of the boat.  "How did you like that jump, Buddy?" said a proud John to a deck hand.  "It was great," said the sailor. "But why didn't you wait? We were just pulling in!"
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The drunken wino was stumbling down the street with one foot on the curb and one foot in the gutter.  A cop pulled up and said, "I've got to take you in, sir. You're obviously drunk"  The wasted wino asked, "Ociffer, are ya absolutely sure I'm drunk?"  "Yeah, buddy, I'm sure," said the copper. "Let's go."  Obviously relieved, the wino said, "That's a relief - I thought I was a cripple."
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One tequila, two tequila, three tequila.... floor.
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A good Samaritan was walking home late one night when he came upon this drunk on the sidewalk. Wanting to help, he asked the drunk "do you live here?" "Yep". "Would you like me to help you upstairs?" "Yep". When they got up on the second floor, the good person asked "Is this your floor?" "Yep". Then the good Samaritan got to thinking that maybe he didn't want to face the man's irate and tired wife because she may think he was the one who got the man drunk. So, he opened the first door he came to and shoved him through it then went back downstairs. However, when he went back outside, there was another drunk. So he asked that drunk "Do you live here?" "Yep". "Would you like me to help you upstairs?" "Yep". So he did and put him in the same door with the first drunk. Then went back downstairs. Where, to his surprise, there was another drunk. So he started over to him. But before he got to him, the drunk staggered over to a policeman and cried "Please officer, protect me from this man. He's been doing nothing all night long but taking me upstairs and throwing me down the elevator shaft!"
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A panda bear walks into a bar, and tells the bartender that he wants to have lunch. The bartender gives him a menu and he orders. The panda bear eats his lunch, and when he finishes, he gets up to leave. Suddenly, the panda bear pulls an AK-47 out of his fur, and shoots the bar to pieces. He then heads for the door. The shocked bartender jumps out from behind the destroyed bar and yells, "Hey, what do you think you're doing? You ate lunch, shot up my bar, and now you're just going to leave?" The panda bear answers calmly, "I'm a panda bear." The bartender says, "Yeah, so?" The panda bear replies, "Look it up," and walks out the door. The bartender jumps back behind the ruined bar and grabs his encyclopedia. He looks up "panda bear," and sure enough, there is a picture of the panda bear. He reads the caption, which says, "Panda Bear -- a cuddly, black and white creature. Eats shoots and leaves."
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Casey McCarthy had just arrived in New York City and was amazed at the enormity of everything. Having drunk a pint or two on the flight over, he sorely needed to relieve himself. The first door he entered happened to be a large health club, and he asked the clerk if he might use the men's room. The clerk said certainly and told Casey the men's room was the third door down the corridor on the left. Now Casey, trying to appear sober, weaved his way down the hallway remembering some of the directions. When he reached the third door, he turned RIGHT, opened the door and immediately fell into the deep end of a pool. The clerk, realizing Casey's mistake, ran down the hall and burst through the door, prepared to save him, and heard Casey shout, "Don't flush, I'm in here!"
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A man walks up to the bar with an ostrich behind him, and as he sits, the bartender asks for their order. The man says, "I'll have a beer" and turns to the ostrich. "What's yours?" "I'll have a beer too" says the ostrich. The bartender pours the beer and says "That will be $3.40 please," and the man reaches into his pocket and pays with the exact change for payment. The next day, the man and the ostrich come again, and the man says "I'll have a beer," and the ostrich says "I'll have the same." Once again the man reaches into his pocket and pays with exact change. This became a routine until late one evening, the two enter again. "The usual?" asks the bartender. "Well, it's close to last call, so I'll have a large Scotch" says the man. "Same for me" says the ostrich. "That will be $7.20" says the bartender. Once again the man pulls exact change out of his pocket and places it on the bar. The bartender can't hold back his curiosity any longer. "Excuse me, sir. How do you manage to always come up with the exact change out of your pocket every time?" "Well," says the man, "several years ago I was cleaning the attic and I found this old lamp. When I rubbed it a Genie appeared and offered me two wishes. My first wish was that if I ever needed to pay for anything, I just put my hand in my pocket and the right amount of money will be there." "That's brilliant!" says the bartender. "Most people would wish for a million dollars or something, but you'll always be as rich as you want for as long as you live!" "That's right! Whether it's a gallon of milk, or a Rolls Royce, the exact money is always there," says the man. "That's fantastic!" says the bartender. "You are a genius! ...Oh, one other thing sir, what's with the ostrich?" The man replies, "Oh, my second wish was for a chick with long legs."
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So this grasshopper walks into a bar.  The bartender looks up and says "Hey! Your a grasshopper! We have a drink named after you!". The grasshopper says "Oh yeah? You have a drink named Leonard?!"
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A snail goes into a bar and orders a beer. The barman says "Sorry we don't serve snails" and throws him out. A couple of weeks later the snail goes into the bar again and says "What did you do that for?"
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The local bar was so sure that its bartender was the strongest man around that they offered a standing $1,000.00 bet. The bartender would squeeze a lemon until all the juice ran into a glass, and hand the lemon to a patron. Anyone who could squeeze one more drop of juice out would win the money. Many people had tried over time (weightlifters, longshoremen, etc.) but nobody could do it. One day this scrawny little man came in, wearing thick glasses and a polyester suit, and said in a tiny, squeaky voice, "I'd like to try the bet." After the laughter had died down, the bartender said OK, grabbed a lemon, and squeezed away. Then he handed the wrinkled remains of the rind to the little man. But the crowd's laughter turned to total silence as the man clenched his fist around the lemon and six drops fell into the glass. As the crowd cheered, the bartender paid the $1,000.00, and asked the little man, "what do you do for a living? Are you a lumberjack, a weightlifter, or what?" The man replied, "I work for the IRS."
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A guy walks into a bar and sits down. He starts dialing numbers like there's a telephone in his hand, then puts his palm up against his cheek and begins talking. Suspicious, the bartender walks over and tells him this is a very tough neighborhood and he doesn't need any trouble here. The guy says, "You don't understand. I'm very hi-tech. I had a phone installed in my hand because I was tired of carrying the cellular." The bartender says "Prove it." The guy dials up a number and hands his hand to the bartender. The bartender talks into the hand and carries on a conversation. "That's incredible!" says the bartender. "I would never have believed it!" "Yeah", said the guy, "I can keep in touch with my broker, my wife, you name it. By the way, where is the men's room?" The bartender directs him to the men's room. The guy goes in and 5, 10, 20 minutes go by and he doesn't return. Fearing the worst given the neighborhood, the bartender goes into the men's room to check on the guy. The guy is spread-eagled up against the wall. His pants are pulled down and he has a roll of toilet paper up his butt. "Oh my god!" said the bartender. "Did they rob you? Are you hurt?" The guy turns and says: "No, no, I'm ok. I'm just waiting for a fax."
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The modest man is in the hospital for a series of tests and one of the last tests, makes his stomach upset.  After making several false alarm trips to the bathroom, he decided to ignore the latest and ended up He completely filling his bed with human waste and felt embarrassed beyond anything he could possibly face. So, losing his presence of mind, he jumped up, gathered up the bedsheets, and threw them out the hospital window. A drunk was walking by the hospital and the sheets landed on him. He started yelling, cussing, and swinging his arms, drawing the attention of the security guard.  The security guard yells, "What's going on?!?"
To which the drunk replied, "I just beat the shit out of a ghost!"
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There was a drunk man walking down the street turning his car keys back and forth. A policeman came up to him and asked, "Sir, what are you doing?". The drunk replied, "I am looking for my car, the last time I saw it, it was on the end of these keys." The police officer said, "Sir, do you know your zipper is down?" The drunk replied, "Shit, I lost my wife, too!"
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A well dressed gentlemen enters the bar of a five star restaurant, sits at the bar and orders four very expensive drinks. The bartender serves them on a silver tray, setting all four in front of the patron. The man then consumes all four drinks in a matter of seconds. The bartender comments, "Wow, you sure must have a problem."

"If you had what I had," the man replies, "you'd drink them fast, too."

Leaning over, the sympathetic bartender asks, "What do you have?"

"Fifty cents," the man answers.
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A man took a trip out West after a harrowing divorce proceeding. He stopped in a bar, and after a few drinks stated to no one in particular, "Lawyers are horses' asses." Hearing this, one of the locals spoke up:  "Mister, watch what you say. You're in horse country."
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Kelly was standing in front of Cohan's Tavern when he saw a driverless car rolling slowly down the street. He ran to the car, jumped in, and pulled on the emergency brake with a jerk. Kelly got out and very proudly said to the man approaching him, "I stopped it!" "I know, you idiot!" said the man. "I was pushing it!"
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Q: Whats the difference between a pig and a fox?
A: A 12-pack of beer!
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The boss at the pub went up to the bartender and asked, "Have you been fooling around with the waitress?!" "Oh no, sir, I sure haven't," replied the bartender. The boss replied, "Good, in that case then, YOU fire her!"
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Jake is 85, and he gets married to a 16-year-old. He walks into the local bar when he gets back from his honeymoon, and all the guys want to hear about his wedding night. Jake says, "Well, when we got to the hotel, my youngest son carried me up the stairs, undressed me, and lifted me onto the bed with my bride, so she and I could spend the night together. The next morning all three of my sons came upstairs and lifted me off of her." The bartender says, "Why did it take three sons to get you off?" Jake says, "I fought 'em."
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A man at the bar, deep in private thoughts of his own, turned to a woman just passing and said, "Pardon me miss, do you happen to have the time?" In a strident voice, she responded, "How dare you make such a proposition to me!" The man snapped to attention in surprise and was uncomfortably aware that every pair of eyes in the place had turned to his direction. He mumbled, "I just asked for the time, miss." In an even louder voice, the woman shrieked, "I will call the police if you say another word!!" Grabbing his drink and embarrassed very nearly to death, the man hastened to the far end of the room and huddled at a table, holding his breath and wondering how soon he could sneak out the door. Not more than half a minute later, the woman joined him. In a quiet voice, she said, "I'm terribly sorry to have embarrassed you, but I am a psychologist and I am studying the reaction of human beings to shocking statements." The man stared at her for five seconds, says let me help you out and then he leans back and bellowed loudly, "You'd do all that for me all night long for just two dollars?! What's that?...You'd do it to every guy in this bar for just another ten dollars?!"
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Driving through a Swiss city one day, Alfred Hitchcock suddenly pointed out of the car window and said, "That is the most frightening sight I have ever seen." His companion was surprised to see nothing more alarming than a priest in conversation with a little boy, his hand on the child's shoulder. "Run, little boy," cried Hitchcock, leaning out of the car. "Run for your life!"
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Sign of drinking problem... You shout, "I'm not as think you drunk I am."
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Q: What's the difference between a bar and a clitoris?
A: Men have no trouble finding a bar.
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A regular at Bob's Bar came in one evening sporting a matched pair of swollen black eyes that appeared extremely painful. "Whoa, Sam!" said the bartender. "Who gave those beauties to you?" "Nobody gave them to me," said Sam. "I had to fight like hell for both of them."
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After a hot, hard day's work Joe went into a bar to quench his thirst. He walked up to the bar and asked the bartender for a beer. The bartender replied "There's one thing every man has to do here before getting served. You have to tell me the name of your penis." Joe thought it was a bit silly and asked the bartender what he named his. The bartender said " I named mine Nike...like you know...just do it!" So he thought about it for a few minutes then said "I got one...Secret." The bartender said "Why Secret?" Joe said "Well...it's strong enough for a man, but made for a woman."
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JimQ916

Posts : 363
Join date : 2014-12-31

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