THE WORLD IS BEAUTIFUL 1 - 9 EDITIONS

[Paul]

I work next to a building site. One guy wanted another to throw him the end of a cable, so he said (and this is real), "Fuck that fucking fucker over fucking here, mate."

poetry

Fuck is the most versatile word in the english language.

Here's a transcript of the funniest audio ever about the eff-word

If you Google "uses of the work fuck" you'll find sites with the audio version I recomend it.

[Paul]

  Perhaps one of the most interesting and colorful words in the English language is the word "fuck". 


  It is the one magical word, which, just by its sound, can describe pain, pleasure, love and hate. 


  In language, "fuck" falls into many grammatical categories.


   It can be used as a verb, both transitive (John fucked Mary) and intransitive (Mary was fucked by John). 


  It can be an active verb (John really gives a fuck) or a passive verb (Mary really doesn't give a fuck); or an adverb (Mary is fucking interested in John), and as a noun (Mary is a terrific fuck). 


  It can be used as an adjective (Mary is fucking beautiful). As you can see, there are very few words with the versatility of "fuck".

  Besides its sexual connotations, this incredible word can be used to describe many situations:


  Greetings- How the fuck are you?


  Fraud -I got fucked by the car dealer.


  Dismay -Oh, fuck it!


  Trouble -Well, I guess I'm fucked now.


  Aggression -Fuck you.


  Disgust -Fuck me.


  Confusion -What the fuck...?


  Difficulty -I don't understand this fucking business.


  Despair -Fucked again.


  Incompetence -He fucks up everything.


  Displeasure -What the fuck is going on here?


  Lost -Where the fuck are we?


  Disbelief -Unfuckingbelieveable.


  Retaliation -Up your fucking ass.


  Telling time -I have to work till 5 o-fucking-clock.


  It can be used in an anatomical description -- "He's a fucking asshole."


  It can be used to tell time -- "It's five fucking thirty."


  It can be used in business -- "How did I wind up with this fucking job?"


  It can be maternal -- as in "Motherfucker".


  It can be political -- "Fuck George Bush."

  And, never forget General Custer's last words: "Where did all them fucking Indians come from?"


  Or the Mayor of Hiroshima: "What the fuck was that?"
And last, but not least, the immortal words of the Captain of the Titanic: "Where is all this fucking water coming from?"


  The mind fairly boggles at the many creative uses of the word. How can anyone be offended when you say fuck?


  Use it frequently in your daily speech; it adds to your prestige. Today - say to someone "Fuck You!"

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FUCK QUOTES

10.. “What the Fuck was that?” – Mayor of Hiroshima

9.. “Where did all these Fucking Indians come from?” – Custer

8.. “Any Fucking idiot could understand that.” – Einstein

7.. “It does SO Fucking look like her!” – Picasso

6.. “How the Fuck did you work that out?” – Pythagorus

5.. “You want WHAT on the Fucking ceiling?” – Michaelangelo

4.. “I don’t suppose it’s gonna Fucking rain.” – Joan of Arc

3.. “Scattered Fucking showers…my ass!” – Noah

2.. “I need this parade like I need a Fucking hole in my head!” -JFK

1.. Ah, come on. Who the Fuck is gonna find out? – Bill Clinton

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False etymologies
One reason that the word fuck is so hard to trace etymologically is that it was used far more extensively in common speech than in easily traceable written forms.

There are several urban-legend false etymologies postulating an acronymic origin for the word. None of these acronyms was ever heard before the 1960s, according to the authoritative lexicographical work, The F-Word, and thus are backronyms. In any event, the word fuck has been in use far too long for some of these supposed origins to be possible. Some of these urban legends are:-

That the word fuck came from Irish law. If a couple were caught committing adultery, they would be punished "For Unlawful Carnal Knowledge In the Nude", with "FUCKIN" written on the stocks above them to denote the crime.
That it came from any of:-
"Fornication Under Carnal/Cardinal Knowledge"
"Fornication Under [the] Control/Consent/Command of the King"
"Fornication Under the Christian King"
"False Use of Carnal Knowledge"
"Felonious Use of Carnal Knowledge"
"Felonious Unlawful Carnal Knowledge"
"Full-On Unlawful Carnal Knowledge"
"For Unlawful Carnal Knowledge"
"Found Under Carnal Knowledge"
"Forced Unlawful Carnal Knowledge", referring to the crime of rape.
There are unproved stories that "FUCK" arose as an abbreviation of one of the versions containing "unlawful":-

In armed forces log books , when reporting court martials of men accused of homosexual intercourse.[citation needed]
On tombstones around English cemeteries, referring to being put to death for crimes against the state and the church.[citation needed] No such tombstone has been provably found.

[Paul]

The theme to this thread's the word "fuck."
so get your mind down in the muck.
and unless you are queer
and wish to post here,
use "Fuck" or you'll be outta luck!

[Paul]

I once fucking heard that the word "fuck" was fucking derived from the word "flicken", which supposedly means to fucking strike, or "fokken", which supposedly fucking means to thrust. I'm assuming both of those fucking words came from the same fucking language, since the "en" at the end apparently fucking correlates to an infinitive verb, but I'm not fucking sure what fucking language that is.

With the exception of the "fuck" in quotation marks in the previous paragraph, all instances were added after the fact, so as to be "on-topic". 

[Paul]

I fucking like this reason, but fuck it, I fucking heard that fuck came about as a fucking law outlawing fucking. As I fucking understanded it fucking went something like this, fucking:

For Unlawful Carnal Knowledge. Meaning you couldn't F.U.C.K someone you weren't fucking legally bound by. i.e. a fucking husband or an occasionally fucking wife.

It also bound those fucking pedaphiles, who all should be fucked by rusty fucking razor blades.

Top Thread

[Paul]

Prehaps one of the most interesting words
In the English language today is the word fuck
Out of all the English words that begin with the letter "f"
Fuck is the only word that is referred to as the "f"word
It's the one magical word
Just by it's sound can describe pain, pleasure, hate and love
Fuck, as most words in the English language, is derived for German
the word "fleckin" which means to strike
In English fuck falls into many grammatical categories
As a transitive verb for instance
"John fucked Shirley."
As an intransitive verb
"Shirley fucks."
It's meanings not always sexual
It can be used as an adjective as in
"John's doing all the fucking work."
As an adverb
"Shirley talks too fucking much."
As an adverb enhancing an adjective
"Shirley is fucking beautiful!"
As a noun
"I don't give a fuck!"
As a part of a word
"Absofuckinglutly!"
or
"Infuckincredible!"
And as almost every word in the sentence
"Fuck the fucking fuckers."
But you must realize that aren't too many words
With the versatility of fuck
As in these examples describing situations such as
Fraud
"I got fucked at the used car lot."
Dismay
"Ah fuck it!"
Trouble
"I guess I'm really fucked now."
Aggression
"Don't fuck with me buddy"
Difficulty
"I don't understand this fucking question"
Inquiry
"Who the fuck was that?"
Disatisfaction
"I don't like what the fuck is going on here."
Incompetantce
"He's a fuck off"
Dismissal
"What don't you go outside and play hide-and-go fuck yourself?"
I'm sure you can think of many more examples
With all of these multipurpose applications
How can anyone b

[Paul]

I fucking like this fuck thread ........ and Manson's fuck song ...  


I'd fuck you because you are famous
I'd fuck you for your money
I'd fuck you to control you
I'd fuck you so someday I can have half of everything you own
I'd fuck you to fuck you over
I'd fuck you until I find someone better
Then fuck you in secret
I'd fuck you because I can't remember if I'd already fucked you before
I'd fuck you out of boredom
I'd fuck you because I can't feel anything anyways
I'd fuck you to make the pain go away

Fuck you because I loved you
Fuck you for loving it, too
I don't need a reason to hate you the way I do
Fuck you because I loved you
Fuck you for loving it, too
I don't need a reason to hate you the way I do
Hate you the way I do
Hate you the way I do
Hate you the way I do
Hate you the way I do

I'd fuck you so I could feel something instead of nothing at all
I'd fuck you because you are beautiful
I'd fuck you because you are my nigger
I'd fuck you because I am your whore
I'd fuck you because you are a whore
I'd fuck you for fun
I'd fuck you for fun
I'd fuck you because I can't
I'd fuck you so I have a place to stay
I'd fuck you so you will protect me

I don't need a reason to hate you the way I do
Hate you the way I do
Hate you the way I do
Hate you the way I do
Hate you the way I do

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Limp Bizkit's "Hot Dog"

Ladies and gentlemen!
Introducing the Chocolate Starfish!
and the Hotdog Flavored Water
Bring it on!
Get the fuck up!
Yeah!
Check, one, two

Listen up, listen up!
Here we go
It's a fucked up world
A fucked up place
Everybody's judged by their fucked up face
Fucked up dreams
Fucked up life
A fucked up kid
With a fucked up knife
Fucked up moms
And fucked up dads
It's a fucked up a cop
With a fucked up badge
Fucked up job
With fucked up pay
And a fucked up boss
Is a fucked up pain
Fucked up press
And fucked up lies
Well, Lethal's in the back
With the fact of the fires

Hey, it's on
Everybody knows it's on
Hey, it's on
Everybody knows it's on

Ain't it a shame that you can't say "Fuck"
Fuck's just a word
And it's all fucked up
Like a fucked up punk
With a fucked up mouth
A nine inch nail
I'll get knocked the fuck out
Fucked up aids
From fucked up sex
Fake ass titties
On a fucked up chest
We're all fucked up
So whatcha wanna do?
We fucked up me
And fucked up you

You wanna fuck me like an animal
You'd like to burn me on the inside
You like to think that I'm a perfect drug
Just know that nothing you do
Will bring you closer to me

Ain't life a bitch?
A fucked up bitch
A fucked up sore with a fucked up stitch
A fucked up head
Is a fucked up shame
Swinging on my nuts
Is a fucked up game
Jealousy filling up a fucked up mind
It's real fucked up
Like a fucked up crime
If I say "Fuck", two more times
That's forty six "Fucks" in this fucked up rhyme

It's on
Everybody knows it's on
Hey, it's on
Everybody knows it's on

You wanna fuck me like an animal
You'd like to burn me on the inside
You like to think that I'm a perfect drug
Just know that nothing you do
Will bring you closer to me

Hooo Haaa Haaaw!
Listen up baby
You.. can't.. bring.. me.. (bring me).. down
I.. don't.. think.. so
I don't want some
You.. better.. check.. your.. (check it).. self
Before.. you.. wreck.. your.. self
Kiss.. my.. star.. fish
My.. choco.. late.. Starfish.. punk
Kiss.. my.. star.. fish
My.. choco.. late.. Starfish.. punk

You wanna fuck me like an animal
You'd like to burn me on the inside
You like to think that I'm a perfect drug
Just know that nothing you do
Will bring you closer to me

[Paul]

Then the REAL Etymology

Etymology Sources such as the Oxford English Dictionary contend that the true etymology of fuck is still uncertain but appears to point to an Anglo-Saxon origin. Flen flyys and freris The usually accepted first known occurrence is in code in a poem in a mixture of Latin and English composed some time before 1500. The poem, which satirizes the Carmelite friars of Cambridge, England, takes its title, "Flen flyys", from the first words of its opening line, "Flen, flyys, and freris" (= "Fleas, flies, and friars"). The line that contains fuck reads "Non sunt in coeli, quia gxddbov xxkxzt pg ifmk". Removing the substitution cipher on the phrase "gxddbov xxkxzt pg ifmk" yields "non sunt in coeli, quia fvccant vvivys of heli", which translated means "they are not in heaven because they fuck wives of Ely" (fvccant is a fake Latin form). The phrase was coded likely because it accused some Church personnel of misbehaving; it is uncertain to what extent the word "fuck" was considered acceptable at the time. John le Fucker The man's name "John le Fucker" is said to be reported from 1278 AD, but the report is doubtful: an email discussion archived at this link says "This name has been exhaustively argued over ... The "John le Fucker" reference first appears in Carl Buck's 1949 Indo-European dictionary. Buck does not supply a citation as to where he found the name. No one has subsequently found the manuscript in which it is alleged to have appeared. If the citation is genuine and not an error, it is most likely a spelling variant of "fulcher", meaning soldier. A detailed discussion can be found in A.W. Read's "Milestones in The History of English" [may be ISBN 0-8223-6526-X], PADS 86.." Anglo-Saxon An Anglo-Saxon charter granted by Offa, king of Mercia, dated A.D.772, granting land at Bexhill, Sussex to a bishop, includes this text:- Þonne syndon þa gauolland þas utlandes into Bexlea in hiis locis qui appellantur hiis nominibus: on Berna hornan .iii. hida, on Wyrtlesham .i., on Ibbanhyrste .i., on Croghyrste .viii., on Hrigce .i., on Gyllingan .ii., on Fuccerham 7 and on Blacanbrocan .i., on Ikelesham .iii.; Then the tax-lands of the outland belonging to Bexley are in these places which are called by these names: at Barnhorne 3 hides, at Wyrtlesham [Worsham farm near Bexhill ] 1, at Ibbanhyrst 1, at Crowhurst 8, at (Rye? The ridge north of Hastings?) 1, at Gillingham 2, at Fuccerham and at Blackbrook [may be Black Brooks in Westfield village just north of Hastings ] 1, at Icklesham 3. The placename Fuccerham looks like either "the home (hām) of the fucker" or "the enclosed pasture (hamm) of the fucker", who may have been a once-notorious man, or a locally well-known stud male animal. Older etymology The word fuck has cognates in other Germanic languages, such as German ficken (to copulate), Middle Dutch fokken (to thrust, copulate, or to breed), dialectical Norwegian fukka (to copulate), and dialectical Swedish focka (to strike, copulate) and fock (penis). This points to a possible etymology where Common Germanic fuk-, by application of Grimm's law, would have as its most likely Indo-European ancestor *pug-, which appears in Latin and Greek words meaning "fight" and "fist". In early Common Germanic the word was likely used at first as a slang or euphemistic replacement for an older word for intercourse, and then became the usual word for intercourse. Other possible connections are to Latin fūtuere (almost exactly the same meaning as the English verb "to fuck"); but it would have to be explained how the word reached Scandinavia from Roman contact, and how the "t" became "k". From futuere came French foutre, Catalan fotre, Italian fottere, Romanian fute, vulgar peninsular Spanish follar and joder, and Portuguese foder). However, there is considerable doubt and no clear lineage for these derivations. These roots, even if cognate, are not the original Indo-European word for to copulate, but Wayland Young (who agrees that these words are related) argues that they derive from the Indo-European *bhu- or *bhug- = "be", "become", or as causative "create" . A possible intermediate might be a 4th-declension verbal noun *fūtus = with possible meanings including "act of (pro)creating". The Spanish verb follar has a different origin: according to Spanish etymologists, it (attested in the 19th century) derives via fuelle ("bellows") from Latin folle(m) < Indo-European *bhel-; the old Spanish verb folgar (attested in the 15th century) derived from Latin follicare, also ultimately from follem/follis. The original Indo-European root for to copulate is likely to be *h3yebh- / h3eybh-, ("h3" is the H3 laryngeal) which is attested in Sanskrit (yabhati) and the Slavic languages (Russian ебать (yebat'), Polish jebać, Serbian јебати (jebati)), among others: compare the Greek verb οιφω, and the Greek noun ζεφυρος (ref. a Greek belief that the west wind caused pregnancy). There is perhaps a Celtic derivation; futuere being related to battuere (to strike, to copulate); which may be related to Irish bot and Manx bwoid (penis). The argument is that battuere and futuere (like the Irish and Manx words) may come from Celtic *bactuere (to pierce), from the root buc- (a point).

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