Valley of the Sun Casual Club
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Forum Updated Index

If you wanted to look at the Magic Star . You will see that it is in the forum F6 . If you click F6 you wiil see just those 12 forums . Then you can look in each one at all the topics in them .


F1 ALL MEMBERS BRIEFLY INTRODUCE YOURSELF
2015 NEW ANNOUNCEMENTS

F2 Valley of the Sun CC SITE AND FORUM GUILDELINES
VOTSCC TOURNAMENT MAKING GUIDE
VOTSCC OUR WGT CC BASIC PROTOCOL

F3 Valley of the Sun CC HALL OF FAME REPLAY BLOOPERS
Valley of the Sun CC BEST OF REPLAYS

F4 WORLD CLOCK

F5 RECENT TOURNEY WINNERS
VOTSCC "KICK ASS" 100,000 POINT CLUB MEMBERS

F6 FORUM FOR PAGE 3 & SAT & SUN BRACKETS & TOURNEY INFO HERE
FLASH MOB & ECGA POKER & MY LEAGUE POOL HALL PROS
PERFECT GOLF
LEXMARK 2500 CREDIT TOURNEY
CLASH RULES AND RESULTS
BLITZ OFFICIAL RULES
DAILY BLITZ SCORES ONLY
THE MAGIC STAR
CHALLENGING THE KING
VOTSCC INTERPLAY CC VS CC MATCHES
ACE'S " Best of the Alternate Shot Championship "
JUNE28 RATTLESNAKE ALT SHOT

F7 VALLEY OF THE FUN
CRAZY WGT SHIT
DON"T CHOKE IT "JOKE IT "

F8 FORUM OF HOW TO'S
TIPS FROM THE DOCTOR OF TECHNOLOGY AZDEWARS
WGT GAME TIPS & TRICKS

F9 Current Events ,,Announcemets , Bulletin Board Part 1
AZ "HOT SHOTS" REMEMBERED
HIGH FIVES TO THE SKIES
RANDOM SELFLESS ACTS OF KINDNESS

F10 VOTSCC CC CLUBHOUSE
CC CART GIRL
TOURNEY TALK
GET YOUR CC TOURNEY ON

F11 CHAT ? ANYONE HERE TO CHAT WITH ?

F12 ANYTHING ELSE ?
DAVID LANES KICK ASS GALLERY OF ART
FORUM OF OLD WGT FORUM POST'S (archives)
HEY JOE
OFF THE WALL , THX FOR A WALL OF A GOOD TIME
Gallery
Click on Gallery in toolbar above to see Galleries

FORUM UPDATE
THIS FORUM IS FOR YOU ALL . PLEASE FEEL LIKE IT IS YOURS . READ THE FORUMS. POST COMMENTS . ASK QUESTIONS . IF YOU HAVE A COMPLAINT POST IT . MAKE SUGGESTIONS . READ SOME TUTORIALS . READ SOME GOLF TIPS . CHECK RECENT TOURNEY WINNERS . BROWSE OUR OLD FORUM ARCHIVES . LOG IN TO THE CHAT AND MESSAGE SOMEONE TO MEET YOU THERE AND ARRANGE A MATCH . LOG IN TO THE CHAT TO SEE IF SOMEONE IS THERE JUST TO SAY HI . MESSAGE ME IF YOU WANT TO GET ON THE DAILY BLITZ .
THE BLITZ SCORECARD IS ON Page 3 PLEASE CLICK HERE
TO FIND THE COURSE OF THE DAY AND SEE
THE WEEKLY STANDINGS . PLEASE POST
YOUR SCORES HERE. IN THIS

Bilko’s Putting Calc
Here is a link to Bilko's Putting Calc and Wind Calc
Just download and install
Owner’s Objectives

It's been a while since I expressed some of my objectives for the CC . First of all I like and respect everyone that joins our club . I realize that not everyone knows what a CC is all about . Many have different reasons for joining . I really don't know how many of the other clubs are run . They are all different . What I want to emphasize in our CC is that whatever tier you are . That you feel comfortable here , part of a team of players that come here to find conditions that enable them to improve their game , hone their skills , lower their scores ,lower their averages , move up in tiers . Enjoyably and comfortably with the conditions that challenge them enough to keep that drive without the frustrationsof regular game play . All that is completely possible by either creating those tourneys yourself or by messaging me about it . Or someone else in your tier that has been creating tourneys . Any kind of information that you need to know should be provided here , any kind of appp , calculator , help , tutorial , tournament , statistic , message , opinion , gripe , compliment , etc , etc . Should able to be aqcuired here ( or in our website , as it may be easier there ). With your help , all of this can be done easily . We already have a good start . I am going to be here for a very long time trying to achieve all this . For any of you that think it's a good direction for your CC to go in . Then lets keep on keepin on . Sincerely , Your Co team member PDB1 , Paul ( sitting here on a rare rainy day ) May the SUN always be with you
POST OF THE WEEK

Re: Where are the Flags ?By Bertasion in Valley of the Sun Casual Club The other day upon the heather fair I hit a flagstick that was not there. I saw it's shadow and heard the clank but where it stood was just a blank. It was not there again today. I wonder when it will come back and stay. Brian
BLITZ LIST
HERE IS THE LIST OF BLITZ COURSES IN THE ORDER THEY ARE PLAYED EVERY WEEK OF EVERY SEASON .

DAILY BLITZ WEEKLY SCHEDULE



WEEK 1

BEST OF BANDON PAR 3
PEBBLE BEACH
THE OLYMPIC CLUB
VAHALLA
MERION


WEEK 2

PINEHURST NO.2
HARBOUR TOWN
KIAWAH ISLAND
ROYAL ST. GEORGE
CONGRESSIONAL


WEEK 3

ERIN HILLS
ST. ANDREWS
BALI HAI
CELTIC MANOR
BETHPAGE BLACK


WEEK 4

PINEHURST NO. 8
WOLF CREEK
CHALLANGE AT MANELE
EXPERIENCE AT KOELE
HILVERSUMSCHE


WEEK 5

EDGEWOOD TAHOE
BEST OF WATER SHOTS
BEST OF FAMOUS SHOTS
BEST OF PUTTING
CHAMBERS BAY

TIER & AVERAGE REQUIREMENTS
BASIC LEVEL AND AVERAGE REQUIREMENTS , AND SATURATION

You need to play at least 5 ranked rounds as hack to saturate & be eligible for Amateur.
When your average score is equal or smaller than 100 you go from Hack to Amateur.

You need to play at least 10 ranked rounds as amateur to saturate & be eligible for Pro.
When your average score is equal or smaller than 80 you go from Amateur to Pro..

You need to play at least 20 ranked rounds as Pro to saturate & be eligible for Tour Pro.
When your average score is equal or smaller than 72 you go from pro to Tour Pro.

You need to play at least 25 ranked rounds as Tour pro to saturate & be eligible for Master.
When your average score is equal or smaller than 67 you go from Tour Pro to Master.

You need to play at least 40 ranked rounds as Master to saturate & be eligible for Tour Master.
When your average score is equal or smaller than 63 you go from Master to Tour Master.

You need to play at least 50 ranked rounds as Tour Master to saturate & be eligible for Legend.
When your average score is equal or smaller than 61 you go from Tour Master to Legend.

You need to play at least 500 ranked rounds as Legend to to saturate & be eligible for Tour Legend.
When your average score is equal or smaller than 60 you go from Legend to Tour Legend.

You need to play at least 200 ranked rounds as Tour Legend to to saturate & be eligible for Champion .
When your average score is equal or smaller than 59 you go from Tour Legend to Champion .

You need to play another 200 ranked rounds as a Champion to saturate .

You need to jump through 10,000 hoops before you receive an exclusive personal invitation before reaching Tour Champion.

May the SUN always be with you

LOTS AND LOTSA JOKES

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subject title LOTS AND LOTSA JOKES

Post by JimQ916 on Sat 08 Aug 2015, 12:37

Q: What do you call lice on a bald man's head?
A: Homeless.
********************************************************************


Did you hear about the heavyset guy who had tried every diet in the world in an attempt to lose weight? He tried the Scarsdale diet, the Navy diet, Weight Watchers, and many more. None worked. One day, he was reading the Washington Post when he noticed a small ad which read:


Lose weight. Only $1.00 a pound, Call (202) 208-0238


The man decided to give it a try and called the number. A voice on the other end asked, 'How much weight do you want to lose?' to which the man responded, 'Ten pounds.' The voice replied, 'Very well, give me your credit card number and we'll have a representative over to your house in the morning.' About 9:00 am the next morning the man gets a knock on the door. There stood a beautiful redheaded woman, completely naked except for a sign around her neck stating, 'If you catch me, you can have me'. Well, the hefty fellow chased her upstairs, downstairs, over sofas, through the kitchen, all around the house. Finally, panting and wheezing like a dog, he did catch her. When he was through enjoying himself, she said, 'Quick, go into the bathroom and weigh yourself!'. He did just that and was amazed to find that he had lost ten pounds, right to the ounce! That evening he called the number again. The voice on the other end asked, 'How much weight do you want to lose?' to which the somewhat less overweight man replied, 'Twenty pounds.' ''Very well', the voice on the phone told him, 'Give me your credit card number and we'll have a representative over to your house in the morning.' At about 8:00 am the next morning the man receives a knock on the door. When he opens the door he sees a beautiful blond dressed only in track shoes and a sign around her neck stating 'If you catch me, you can have me'. The chase took a good while longer this time and the man nearly passed out, but he finally did catch her. When he was through she told him, 'Quick, run into the bathroom and weigh yourself!' He ran to the bathroom and found he had lost another 20 pounds! 'This is fantastic!', he thought to himself. Later that evening he called the number again and the voice at the other end asked, 'How much weight do you want to lose?' 'Fifty pounds!', the man exclaimed. 'Fifty pounds?' the voice asked. 'That's an awful lot of weight to lose at one time.' The man replied, 'Listen buddy, here's my credit card number, you just have your representative over here in the morning!', and he hung up the phone. About 6:00 am the next morning the man gets out of bed, splashes on some cologne and gets all ready for the next representative. At about 7:00 am he gets a knock on the door. When he opens the door, he sees this large gorilla with a sign around his neck stating, 'If I catch you, I'm going to screw you.'
*************************************************************


I'll never forget the first time I saw my husband. He was standing on a hill, his hair blowing in the breeze, and he was too proud to run after it.
************************************************************


Q: What do you call the space between Pamela Anderson's breasts?
A: Silicone Valley.
***********************************************************


Q: Why did the bald man cut a hole in his pocket?
A: He wanted to run his fingers through his hair.
********************************************************


The 75 year old man and his young, knockout wife were shopping in an upscale jewelry boutique when the man's oldest friend bumped into him. Eyeing the curvaceous blonde bending over the counter to try on a necklace, the friend asked "How in the hell did YOU land a wife like that?"The old man whispered back, "Easy. I told her I was 90!"
*******************************************************


Q: What did one saggy boob say to the other?
A: "We'd better get some support or people are gonna think we're nuts!!"
********************************************************


There were two guys who wanted to pick up women on a beach. One was Italian (Luca) and the other was Russian (Vladimir). Luca had no problem picking up gorgeous women.  He was the most popular guy on the beach. But Vladimir had no success. 
Vladimir: "Luca! How do you do it? How do you attract so many beautiful women?"


Luca: "Well, I'll tell ya!  But it's a secret,  just between you and me. I don't want my system to become too public.
"
Vladimir: "OK. It's a deal."


Luca: "You see those potatoes over there? Well, every time I come to the beach I take one and put it in my Speedo. When the women see it, they come running from miles around."


Vladimir: "That's it? I can do that."


The next day, Vladimir went over to the produce stand and picked out the biggest, most perfectly shaped potato he could find. He then went into the changing room and slipped it into his Speedo. As he walked out onto the beach, he immediately noticed that women and men began to notice him. "It's working, he thought."  But soon he began to realize that they were not looking interested but rather upset, almost disgusted by the sight of him. He rushed over to Luca and asked, "Luca, what's the problem? Why isn't it working?"


Luca: "Because you're supposed to put the potato in the FRONT!!"
********************************************************


A man walks into a bar and orders one shot. Then he looks into his shirt pocket and orders another shot. After he finishes, he looks into his shirt pocket again and orders another shot. The bartender is curious and asks him "every time you order a shot, you look in your shirt pocket. Why?" The man replies, "I have a picture of my wife in my pocket and when she starts to look good, I go home."
*******************************************************


A woman was very distraught at the fact that she had not had a date or any sex in quite some time. She was afraid she might have something wrong with her, so she decided to seek the medical expertise of a sex therapist. Her doctor recommended that she see the well known Chinese sex therapist, Dr. Chang. So she went to see him. Upon entering the examination room, Dr. Chang said, "OK, take off all your crose." The woman did as she was told. "Now, get down and craw reery, reery fass to odder side of room." Again, the woman did as she was instructed. Dr. Chang then said, "OK, now craw reery, reery fass back to me." So she did. Dr.Chang shook his head slowly and said, "Your probrem vewy bad. You haf Ed Zachary Disease. Worse case I ever see. Dat why you not haf sex or dates." Worried, the woman asked anxiously, "Oh my God, Dr. Chang, what is Ed Zachary Disease?" Dr. Chang sighed deeply, and replied, "Ed Zachary Disease is when your face look ed zachary like your ass.
*****************************************************


There was this old guy wandering around in a supermarket calling out at intervals "Crisco? Crisco? CRIS--CO!!!!" Finally a store clerk approached. "Sir, the Crisco is on aisle five." "Oh," replied the old guy, "I'm not looking for Crisco, I'm calling my wife." "Your wife is named "Crisco?" "Nah," he answered, "I only call her that when we come to the supermarket." "Oh? What do you call her when you are not in the supermarket?" "Lard Ass!"
****************************************************


A husband and his wife who have been married 20 years were doing some yard work. The man was working hard cleaning the BBQ grill while his wife was bending over, weeding flowers from the flower bed. So the man says to his wife "Your rear end is almost as wide as this grill!" She ignores the remark. Later that night while in bed, her husband starts to feel frisky. The wife calmly responds, "If you think I'm gonna fire up the grill for one little wiener, you are sadly mistaken."
****************************************************


A man with a bald head and a wooden leg gets invited to a halloween party. He doesn't know what costume to wear to hide his head and his leg so he writes to a fancy dress company to explain the problem. A few days later he receives a parcel with a note. "Dear Sir, please find enclosed a pirates outfit. The spotted handkerchief will cover your bald head and with your wooden leg you will be just right as a pirate." The man thinks this is terrible because they have just emphasized his wooden leg and so he writes a really rude letter of complaint. A week passes and he receives another parcel and a note which says: "Dear Sir, sorry about before, please find enclosed a monks habit. The long robe will cover your wooden leg and with your bald head you will really look the part." Now the man is really annoyed since they have gone from emphasizing his wooden leg to emphasizing his bald head and he writes the company a scathing letter of complaint. The next day he receives a small parcel and a note which reads: "Dear Sir, please find enclosed a jar of caramel. Pour the jar of caramel over your bald head, stick your wooden leg up your ass and go as a candy apple!"
*************************************************


A midget with a heavy lisp goes to a horse farm to purchase a horse. The owner of the farm takes him through to look at all of his horses. The owner is really getting pissed off. Finally, the last horse and the midget decided that he really wanted this horse. So he ask the owner if he could lift him up so he could look at the horses eyes. The owner did as the midget asked, and the midget said  "Oh my, thse got very pretty eyez". Then the midget asked if he could lift him up so he could see her teeth, Then the midget said "Oh wow, thse got wonderful teeth." Then the midget asked if he could see her twat. The owner, being very pissed, picked him up, and rammed him in and out of the horse's twat. The midget looked up at the owner and said. "Oh my, yes she does have a very fine twat, but I guess I thoud have asked to see her gallop."
************************************************


Two old friends who love to push each other's buttons are in a bar, drinking. One reaches over and feels the other's bald head. "Good God! This feels just like my wife's ass!" The man whose head it is runs his hand over it, too.
"So it does! So it does!"
************************************************


A recent article in the Dominion Post reported that Nancy Pelosi sued Wellington hospital saying that after her husband had surgery there he lost all interest in sex.  A hospital spokesman replied, "Your husband was admitted for cataract surgery.  All we did was to correct his eyesight."
**********************************************


Your wife will be so fat after Thanksgiving her new nickname will be "Daaaamn!"
*********************************************


Q: Why did God create alcohol?
A: So ugly people could have sex, too.
*********************************************


A guy is sitting in a bar next to a really ugly woman with a parrot on her shoulder.
The woman looks over at the guy and says, "If you can tell me what kind of animal I have on my shoulder...I'll sleep with you."


The guy says: "An alligator?"


The woman replies: "Close enough!"
********************************************


A big fat housewife is on her hands and knees, scrubbing the kitchen floor, when she suddenly yells to her husband, "Come here quick, Charlie! I'm paralyzed and I can't get up!"


He comes in, takes a look, and says, "Stand up, you silly old bat. You're kneeling on one of your tits!"
*******************************************


The King's daughter was into her mid twenties, and the king didn't want his princess to be an old maid. The princess wasn't the most beautiful of women, and wasn't having any luck finding a suitable husband. The King finally decided to take matters into his own hand. He had flyers printed up and posted all over the kingdom which read, "who so ever wishes to marry the princess should appear at the castle at noon next Sunday."


Only three suitors arrived at the castle. The king decided to have a test to determine who would get his daughter's hand. Each suitor would have to climb the castle wall, swim the moat, and then have sex with one of the castle's cows. The first suitor didn't even make it over the wall. The second suitor made it over the wall, but couldn't swim the moat. The third suitor, climbed the wall, swam the moat, fucked the cow, and wasn't even tired. The king went up to him, and said "Congratulations, you are the only one worthy enough to marry my daughter."


And the suitor replied, "Forget your daughter, I want your cow!"
***************************************


Last edited by JimQ916 on Sat 08 Aug 2015, 12:56; edited 1 time in total (Reason for editing : FORMAT)
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JimQ916

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