Valley of the Sun Casual Club
Welcome to VOTSCC . Please enjoy the many features . You may login at anytime to be part of our community .
Log in

I forgot my password

THAT'S ENTERTAINMENT
CLICK ON ANY OF THESE LINKS TO FIND OUR EXTREME ENTERTAINMENT








Forum Updated Index

If you wanted to look at the Magic Star . You will see that it is in the forum F6 . If you click F6 you wiil see just those 12 forums . Then you can look in each one at all the topics in them .


F1 ALL MEMBERS BRIEFLY INTRODUCE YOURSELF
2015 NEW ANNOUNCEMENTS

F2 Valley of the Sun CC SITE AND FORUM GUILDELINES
VOTSCC TOURNAMENT MAKING GUIDE
VOTSCC OUR WGT CC BASIC PROTOCOL

F3 Valley of the Sun CC HALL OF FAME REPLAY BLOOPERS
Valley of the Sun CC BEST OF REPLAYS

F4 WORLD CLOCK

F5 RECENT TOURNEY WINNERS
VOTSCC "KICK ASS" 100,000 POINT CLUB MEMBERS

F6 FORUM FOR PAGE 3 & SAT & SUN BRACKETS & TOURNEY INFO HERE
FLASH MOB & ECGA POKER & MY LEAGUE POOL HALL PROS
PERFECT GOLF
LEXMARK 2500 CREDIT TOURNEY
CLASH RULES AND RESULTS
BLITZ OFFICIAL RULES
DAILY BLITZ SCORES ONLY
THE MAGIC STAR
CHALLENGING THE KING
VOTSCC INTERPLAY CC VS CC MATCHES
ACE'S " Best of the Alternate Shot Championship "
JUNE28 RATTLESNAKE ALT SHOT

F7 VALLEY OF THE FUN
CRAZY WGT SHIT
DON"T CHOKE IT "JOKE IT "

F8 FORUM OF HOW TO'S
TIPS FROM THE DOCTOR OF TECHNOLOGY AZDEWARS
WGT GAME TIPS & TRICKS

F9 Current Events ,,Announcemets , Bulletin Board Part 1
AZ "HOT SHOTS" REMEMBERED
HIGH FIVES TO THE SKIES
RANDOM SELFLESS ACTS OF KINDNESS

F10 VOTSCC CC CLUBHOUSE
CC CART GIRL
TOURNEY TALK
GET YOUR CC TOURNEY ON

F11 CHAT ? ANYONE HERE TO CHAT WITH ?

F12 ANYTHING ELSE ?
DAVID LANES KICK ASS GALLERY OF ART
FORUM OF OLD WGT FORUM POST'S (archives)
HEY JOE
OFF THE WALL , THX FOR A WALL OF A GOOD TIME
Gallery
Click on Gallery in toolbar above to see Galleries

FORUM UPDATE
THIS FORUM IS FOR YOU ALL . PLEASE FEEL LIKE IT IS YOURS . READ THE FORUMS. POST COMMENTS . ASK QUESTIONS . IF YOU HAVE A COMPLAINT POST IT . MAKE SUGGESTIONS . READ SOME TUTORIALS . READ SOME GOLF TIPS . CHECK RECENT TOURNEY WINNERS . BROWSE OUR OLD FORUM ARCHIVES . LOG IN TO THE CHAT AND MESSAGE SOMEONE TO MEET YOU THERE AND ARRANGE A MATCH . LOG IN TO THE CHAT TO SEE IF SOMEONE IS THERE JUST TO SAY HI . MESSAGE ME IF YOU WANT TO GET ON THE DAILY BLITZ .
THE BLITZ SCORECARD IS ON Page 3 PLEASE CLICK HERE
TO FIND THE COURSE OF THE DAY AND SEE
THE WEEKLY STANDINGS . PLEASE POST
YOUR SCORES HERE. IN THIS

Bilko’s Putting Calc
Here is a link to Bilko's Putting Calc and Wind Calc
Just download and install
Owner’s Objectives

It's been a while since I expressed some of my objectives for the CC . First of all I like and respect everyone that joins our club . I realize that not everyone knows what a CC is all about . Many have different reasons for joining . I really don't know how many of the other clubs are run . They are all different . What I want to emphasize in our CC is that whatever tier you are . That you feel comfortable here , part of a team of players that come here to find conditions that enable them to improve their game , hone their skills , lower their scores ,lower their averages , move up in tiers . Enjoyably and comfortably with the conditions that challenge them enough to keep that drive without the frustrationsof regular game play . All that is completely possible by either creating those tourneys yourself or by messaging me about it . Or someone else in your tier that has been creating tourneys . Any kind of information that you need to know should be provided here , any kind of appp , calculator , help , tutorial , tournament , statistic , message , opinion , gripe , compliment , etc , etc . Should able to be aqcuired here ( or in our website , as it may be easier there ). With your help , all of this can be done easily . We already have a good start . I am going to be here for a very long time trying to achieve all this . For any of you that think it's a good direction for your CC to go in . Then lets keep on keepin on . Sincerely , Your Co team member PDB1 , Paul ( sitting here on a rare rainy day ) May the SUN always be with you
POST OF THE WEEK

Re: Where are the Flags ?By Bertasion in Valley of the Sun Casual Club The other day upon the heather fair I hit a flagstick that was not there. I saw it's shadow and heard the clank but where it stood was just a blank. It was not there again today. I wonder when it will come back and stay. Brian
BLITZ LIST
HERE IS THE LIST OF BLITZ COURSES IN THE ORDER THEY ARE PLAYED EVERY WEEK OF EVERY SEASON .

DAILY BLITZ WEEKLY SCHEDULE



WEEK 1

BEST OF BANDON PAR 3
PEBBLE BEACH
THE OLYMPIC CLUB
VAHALLA
MERION


WEEK 2

PINEHURST NO.2
HARBOUR TOWN
KIAWAH ISLAND
ROYAL ST. GEORGE
CONGRESSIONAL


WEEK 3

ERIN HILLS
ST. ANDREWS
BALI HAI
CELTIC MANOR
BETHPAGE BLACK


WEEK 4

PINEHURST NO. 8
WOLF CREEK
CHALLANGE AT MANELE
EXPERIENCE AT KOELE
HILVERSUMSCHE


WEEK 5

EDGEWOOD TAHOE
BEST OF WATER SHOTS
BEST OF FAMOUS SHOTS
BEST OF PUTTING
CHAMBERS BAY

TIER & AVERAGE REQUIREMENTS
BASIC LEVEL AND AVERAGE REQUIREMENTS

You need to play at least 5 ranked rounds as hack before reaching Amateur.
When your average score is equal or smaller than 100 you go from Hack to Amateur.

You need to play at least 10 ranked rounds as amateur before reaching Pro.
When it is equal or smaller than 80 you go from Amateur to Pro..

You need to play at least 20 ranked rounds as Pro before reaching Tour Pro.
When it is equal or smaller than 72 you go from pro to Tour Pro.

You need to play at least 25 ranked rounds as Tour pro before reaching Master.
When it is equal or smaller than 67 you go from Tour Pro to Master.

You need to play at least 40 ranked rounds as Master before reaching Tour Master.
When it is equal or smaller than 63 you go from Master to Tour Master.

You need to play at least 50 ranked rounds as Tour Master before reaching Legend.
When it is equal or smaller than 61 you go from Tour Master to Legend.

You need to play at least 500 ranked rounds as Legend to saturated ( average stops going up ) before reaching Tour Legend.
When it is equal or smaller than 60 you go from Legend to Tour Legend.

You need to play at least 200 ranked rounds as Tour Legend to saturate ( average stops going up ).
When it is equal or smaller than 60 you go from Tour Legend to Champion.

You need to play an additional 200 ranked rounds as Tour Legend before reaching Champion.


You need to play another 200 ranked rounds as a Champion to saturate ( average stops going up ).


You need to play an undisclosed number of additional rounds and receive an exclusive personal invitation before reaching Tour Champion.

Saturday pick me ups

View previous topic View next topic Go down

subject title Saturday pick me ups

Post by JimQ916 on Sat 05 Sep 2015, 09:05

Q: How do you make a bandstand?



A: Take away their chairs!

_______________________________




Q: What do you get when you drop a piano down a mine shaft?

A: A flat minor!

_______________________________




An inmate on death row and was scheduled to be put to death by firing squad the follow morning. Throughout the day, the prison guards were being very nice to him. But when they asked him if he wanted something specific for his last meal, he didn't want anything special. When they asked if there was something special he wanted to do, he said nothing. It went on like this all day. Finally when he was put before the firing squad, the guard asked if he wanted a cigarette and a blindfold.



"No," the inmate said. "Just get it over with."



"Well, is there anything that I can do for you before you go?" said the guard. "You didn't even want a special last meal."



The inmate thought. "Actually," he said, "Music is my life. One thing I would really like would be to sing my favorite song, one whole time through, with no interruptions."



The guard nodded and told him to go ahead. The inmate started singing, "Ten billion bottles of beer on the wall..."

________________________________




A tourist wanders into a back-alley antique shop in San Francisco's Chinatown. Picking through the objects on display he discovers a detailed bronze sculpture of a rat.



The sculpture is so interesting and unique that he picks it up and asks the shop owner the price. "Twelve dollars for the rat, sir," says the shop owner, "and an extra thousand dollars more for the story behind it." "You can keep the story, old man," he replies, "but, I'll take the rat."



The transaction complete, the tourist leaves the store with the bronze rat under his arm. As he crosses the street in front of the store, two live rats emerge from a sewer drain and fall into step behind him.



Nervously looking over his shoulder, he begins to walk faster, but every time he passes another sewer drain, more rats come out and follow him. By the time he's walked two blocks, at least a hundred rats are at his heels, and people begin to point and shout. He walks even faster, and soon breaks into a trot as multitudes of rats swarm from sewers, basements, vacant lots, and abandoned cars....following him.



No matter how fast he runs, the rats keep up, squealing hideously now not just thousands but millions, so that by the time he comes racing to the water's edge a trail of rats twelve city blocks long is behind him.



Making a mighty leap, he jumps up onto a light post, grasping it with with one arm, while he hurls the bronze rat into San Francisco Bay with the other, as far as he can throw it.



Pulling his legs up and clinging to the light post, he watches in amazement as the seething tide of rats surges over the breakwater into the sea, where they drown.



Shaken and mumbling, he makes his way back to the antique shop. "Ah sir, you've come back for the rest of the story," says the owner. "No," says the tourist, "I was just hoping you had a bronze sculpture of Obama!"

__________________________________




The curator of an art gallery asked an artist for a painting depicting General Custer's last thoughts. Two weeks later, the artist unveiled the painting, an enormous canvas with a lovely blue lake painted in its center, with a fish leaping from the water with a shining halo around its head. On the shores of the lake were the most detailed pictures of Indians fornicating. After gazing at the painting for some time, the enraged curator demanded to know what the theme was supposed to be. The artist said, "You asked for a painting of Custer's last thoughts," he explained. "That's it. Custer was thinking, 'Holy mackerel, where did all those fucking Indians come from?'"

___________________________________




A guy is out hunting. He stops to pee, leans his weapon against a tree and….just then a gust of wind blew, the gun fell over and discharged, shooting him in the genitals.



Several hours later, lying in a hospital bed, he was approached by his doctor. “Well sir, I have some good news and some bad news. The good news is that you are going to be okay. The damage was local to your groin, there was very little internal damage and we were able to remove all of the buckshot.”



“What’s the bad news?” asked the hunter. “The bad news is that there was some pretty extensive buckshot damage done to your willy which left quite a few holes in it. I’m going to have to refer you to my sister.”



“Well I guess that isn't too bad,” the hunter replied. “Is your sister a plastic surgeon?” Not exactly,” answered the doctor. “She’s a flute player in the Boston Symphony Orchestra. She’s going to teach you where to put your fingers so you don’t piss in your eye.”

___________________________________




Two violinists make a pact that whoever dies first, will contact the other and tell him what life in Heaven is like. Poor Max has a heart attack and dies. He manages to make contact with Abe the next day. Abe says, "I can't believe this worked! So what is it like in Heaven?" Max replies, "Well, it's great, but I've got good news, and I've got bad news. The good news is that there's a fantastic orchestra up here, and in fact, we're playing "Sheherezade," your favorite piece, tomorrow night!" Abe says, "So what's the bad news?"Max replies, "Well, you're booked to play the solo!"

___________________________________




Went to a Grateful Dead concert last night.  They played for 18 hours straight. 



It was a good song.

___________________________________




Chuck Norris, Arnold Schwarzenegger, and Jean Claud VanDam, were talking one day.  "If you were a musician, who would you be?", asked Chuck Norris.



"I think I would be Mozart," said Jean Claud VanDam.



"I would be Beethoven," said Chuck Norris.



Arnold replied, "I'll be Bach!"

_____________________________________




A man faced with death will have his life spared if he can explain the song being visually represented by a flock of naked women.



The man is led to an empty concert hall where 8 naked women are being led in.



They were placed so that the first one was facing him, the second with her back to him, the third facing him, the fourth with her back to him, the fifth facing him, and the last three with their backs to him.



"Guess that song!" his oppressor demanded.



"Ah, that one's easy!," he exclaimed, triumphantly. "It's William Tell Overture... titty rump titty rump titty rump rump rump."

____________________________________




A Brit, a Frenchman and a Russian are viewing a painting of Adam and Eve frolicking in the Garden of Eden.




"Look at their reserve, their calm," muses the Brit. "They must be British."




"Nonsense," the Frenchman disagrees. "They're naked, and so beautiful. Clearly, they are French."




"No clothes, no shelter," the Russian points out, "they have only an apple to eat, and they're being told this is paradise. They are Russian!"




__________________________________




Last summer, the local orchestra decided to play Beethoven's 9th symphony. However, it being quite hot, the players were working up quite a sweat, until a neighbor let them use the ventilators in her house. However, the wind from these ventilators was causing the notes to blow all over the place, so they had to tie them down to the note holders. The din from the ventilators was so bad that the bassists decided it didn't matter if they downed a few drinks and got royally drunk. Two of the bassists got so drunk that they pass out. One of the violinists, in disgust, decided to go home but slipped and fell. Thus, it was the bottom of the 9th, the bassists were loaded, the score was tied with two men out, and the fans were roaring wild when one of the players slid home.

_______________________________




A woman meant to call a record store but dialed the wrong number and got a private home instead.




"Do you have 'Eyes of Blue' and 'A Love Supreme'?" she asked.




"Well, no," answered the puzzled homeowner. "But I have a wife and eleven children."




"Is that a record?" she inquired.




"I don't think so," replied the man, "but it's as close as I want to get."

______________________________




Disco is to music what Etch-A-Sketch is to art.

_______________________________




Q: When a 16-inch viola and a 17-inch viola are dropped simultaneously from a 30-story building, which one hits the pavement first?




A: Who cares!

_____________________________




Two men, sentenced to die in the electric chair on the same day were led down to the room in which they would meet their maker. The priest had given the last rites, the formal speech had been given by the warden, and a final prayer had been said among the participants. The Warden, turning to the first man, solemnly asked, "Son, do you have a last request?" To which the man replied, "Yes sir, I do. I love dance music. Could you please play something by Justin Bieber for me one last time?" "Certainly," replied the warden. He turned to the other man and asked, "Well, what about you, son? What is your final request?" "Please," said the condemned man, "kill me first."

_____________________________




A man walks into a shop. "You got one of them Marshall Hiwatt AC30 amplificatior thingies and a Gibson StratoBlaster geetar with a Fried Rose tremolo?" "You're a drummer, aren't you?" "Yeah. How'd you know?" "This is a travel agency."

_____________________________




Q: What's better than roses in your piano?




A: Tulips in your organ!

____________________________




A man with a broken hand says to doctor, "Will I be able to play guitar after the operation on my hand?" The doctor says, "Yes of course." "That's great! I never could before."

___________________________




When Einstein died and arrived at the gates of heaven, St. Peter wouldn't let him in until he proved his identity. Einstein scribbled out a couple of his equations, and was admitted into paradise.
And when Picasso died, St. Peter asked, "How do I know you're Picasso?" Picasso sketched out a couple of his masterpieces. St. Peter was convinced and let him in. When George W. Bush died, he went to heaven and met the man at the gates. "How can you prove to me you're George W. Bush?" Saint Peter said. Bush replied, "Well heck, I dont know." St. Peter says, "Well, Albert Einstein showed me his equations and Picasso drew his famous pictures. What can you do to prove you're George W. Bush?" Bush replies, "Who are Albert Einstein and Picasso?"
St. Peter says, "It must be you, George, c'mon on in."


___________________________




Been drawing circles around pictures of Sting, Stewart Copeland and Andy Summers for a woman across the street who has just had her home burglarized. 




No idea how asking me to ring The Police is going to help her.

__________________________




A world famous painter started losing her eyesight in the prime of her career. After several surgeries and weeks of therapy, her eyesight was restored. The painter decided to show her gratitude to her surgeon by painting a mural with pairs of eyes in every shade and shape in his office. When she finished, she held a press conference to unveil her latest work of art. One reporter asked the doctor, "What was your first reaction upon seeing your newly painted office?" "Thank God I'm not a gynecologist."

_________________________




Q: What's the difference between Madonna and the Panama Canal?




A: Well, you see, the Panama canal is a busy ditch...
avatar
JimQ916

Posts : 363
Join date : 2014-12-31

Back to top Go down

View previous topic View next topic Back to top

- Similar topics

 
Permissions in this forum:
You cannot reply to topics in this forum