Get Your Joke On 8/13

10 Dollar Hooker

A man goes to a $10 hooker and contracts crabs.
When he goes back to complain, the hooker laughs and says, "What do you expect for $10 -- lobster?"
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350 Pounder

Q: What do you call a 350-pound stripper?
A: Broke.
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50/50

What do you get when you put 50 lawyers in a room with 50 lesbians?
One hundred people who don't do dick
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6.9

Q: What is 6.9?
A: A really great thing ruined by a period.
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60s Rebel Booty Call... The Man

The Man ain't taking me down... but you can!
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69

I asked my grandma if she had ever tried 69. She said, "No, but I have done 53 -- that's all the sailors I could screw in one night."
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69er's Get Sacked

Q: Why is 88 better than 69?
A: Because you get ate twice.
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7-11

Q: Why did the dick go to 7-11?
A: To get a Slurpee.
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72

Q: What's 72?
A: 69 with three people watching.
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77

Q: Why is 77 better than 69?

A: You get eight more.
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80 Pounder

Did you hear about the 80-pound guy with the 40-pound testicles?
People say he was half-nuts!
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80s Booty Call... Casio

Wanna play my Casio? I keep it in my pants.
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80s Booty Call... Gary Coleman

Call me Gary Coleman because I know all about different strokes.
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80s Booty Call... Kirk Cameron

Like Kirk Cameron, I am experiencing growing pains -- in my pants.
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90s Booty Call... Flannel

That flannel makes you look particularly undernourished in this garage light.
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90s Booty Call... Mosh Pit

You just dove from the stage of my dreams into the mosh pit of my so-called life.
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A Blind Man at a Nude Beach

Q: How can you always tell a blind man at a nude beach?
A: It's not hard.
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A Chewy Riddle

Q: What goes in hard and pink but comes out soft and mushy?
A: Bubblegum -- and you should be ashamed of yourself.
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A Few Good Lawyers

A lawyer is standing in a long line at the box office. Suddenly, he feels a pair of hands kneading his shoulders, back, and neck. The lawyer turns around.
"What the hell do you think you're doing?"
"I'm a chiropractor, and I'm just keeping in practice while I'm waiting in line."
"Well, I'm a lawyer, but you don't see me screwing the guy in front of me, do you?"
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A Hole in the Head

Q: Why does a man's penis have a hole in it?
A: So he can get oxygen to his brain.
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A Lesson in Government

A teacher was teaching her second grade class about the government, so for homework that one day, she told her her students to ask their parents what the government is.
When Little Johnny got home that day, he went up to his dad and ask his what the government was.
His dad thought for a while and answered, ''Look at it this way: I'm the president, your mom is Congress, your maid is the work force, you are the people and your baby brother is the future.''
''I still don't get it'' responded the Little Johnny.
''Why don't you sleep on it then? Maybe you'll understand it better,'' said the dad.
''Okay then...good night'' said Little Jonny went off to bed. In the middle of the night, Little Johnny was awakened by his baby brother's crying. He went to his baby brother's crib and found that his baby brother had taken a crap in his diaper. So Little Johnny went to his parent's room to get help. When he got to his parent's bedroom, he looked through the keyhole to check if his parents were asleep. Through the keyhole he saw his mom loudly snoring, but his dad wasn't there. So he went to the maid's room. When he looked through the maid's room keyhole, he saw his dad having sex with his maid. Little Johnny was surprised, but then he just realized something and thinks aloud, ''OH!! Now I understand the government! The President is screwing the work force, Congress is fast asleep, nobody cares about the people, and the future is full of s**t!''
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OK, there are my jokes for Saturday 8/13...hope everyone enjoys them....Jim