The newest registered user is bitaacademy
Our users have posted a total of 43740 messages in 6445 subjects
WORLD CLOCK
Non-Golf Jokes 2/21
Valley of the Sun Casual Club :: ENTERTAINMENT , SPORTS & NEWS & SOCIAL MEDIA :: DON"T CHOKE IT "JOKE IT "
Non-Golf Jokes 2/21
"But why?" asks the man.
"I'm a divorce lawyer," the man replies.
_____________________________________________________________
My husband and I purchased an expensive old home in Boston from two elderly sisters. Winter was fast approaching and the years first snow came early and I was concerned about the house's lack of insulation. "If they could live here all those years, so can we!" my husband confidently declared. One November night the temperature plunged to below zero, and we woke up to find interior walls covered with frost. My husband called the sisters to ask how they had kept the house warm. After a rather brief conversation, he hung up. "For the past 30 years," he muttered, "they've gone to Florida for the winter."
____________________________________________________________________
While acquainting myself with a new elderly patient, I asked, "How long has it been since you've been bedridden?" After a look of complete confusion she answered; "Why, not for about twenty years - when my husband was alive."
"Divorce Barbie!" Comes with half of Ken's belongings!
A man and a woman are sleeping together when suddenly there is a noise in the house, and the woman rolls over and says, "It's my husband, you have to leave!" The man jumps out of bed, jumps through the window, crawls through the bushes, and out on the street, when he realizes something. He goes back to the house and says to the woman, "Wait, I'm your husband!" She replies giving him a dirty look, "So why did you run?"
This guy runs home and bursts in yelling "Pack your bags honey, I just won the lottery!!" She says "Oh wonderful, should I pack for the beach or for the mountains?" He replies, "I don't care...Just get the heck out!!"
Ken sets up his friend Mike on a blind date with a young lady-friend of his. But Mike is a little worried about going out with someone he's never seen before. "What do I do if she's really unattractive?" says Mike. "I'll be stuck with her all night."
"Don't worry," Ken says, "just go up to her door and meet her first. If you like what you see, then everything goes as planned. But just in case you need to escape, there's a 'Bad Date Rescue App' you can install on your smartphone. Schedule your phone to ring just after you meet her and answer with, 'Mom, what's the matter, are you okay?" It works every time.
So that night, Mike knocks on the girl's door and when she comes out he is awestruck at how attractive and sexy she is. He's about to speak when the girl's phone rings and she answers with, "Mom, what's the matter, are you okay?"
___________________________________________________________________
A married couple were asleep when the phone rang at 2 in the morning. The wife (a blonde), picked up the phone, listened a moment and said, "How should I know, that's 200 miles from here!" and hung up. Curious, the husband said, "Who was that?" And his lovely wife replies, "I don't have any idea who it was. It was some stupid woman wanting to know "if the coast is clear."
Last edited by JimQ916 on Sat 21 Feb 2015, 2:43 pm; edited 2 times in total (Reason for editing : reformat)
JimQ916- Posts : 379
Join date : 2014-12-31
» Golf Jokes 1/15
» Golf Jokes 2/21
» Non-Golf Jokes 1/15
» Post a new joke and lets hear it .
Valley of the Sun Casual Club :: ENTERTAINMENT , SPORTS & NEWS & SOCIAL MEDIA :: DON"T CHOKE IT "JOKE IT "
Yesterday at 8:15 pm by Paul
» YOUR CAR SHOW / LIKE THE WAY THEY ROLL..23
Yesterday at 7:01 pm by Paul
» MEMEANAPOLIS...3
Yesterday at 6:52 pm by Paul
» SHAKIRA....
Yesterday at 12:42 pm by Paul
» JUMP JUMP JUMP THAT ROPE
Yesterday at 12:28 pm by Paul
» VERY SEXY GIFS...3
Yesterday at 12:22 pm by Paul
» DICTIONARY SCOOP * When Brands Go Too Far: *
Yesterday at 11:36 am by Paul
» National Today * Major League Baseball Opening Day – March 28, 2024 *
Yesterday at 11:30 am by Paul
» March National Celebration Days March 28 2024
Yesterday at 11:20 am by Paul
» GIRL FISHING
Wed 27 Mar 2024, 1:21 pm by Paul
» BEFORE & AFTER
Wed 27 Mar 2024, 1:19 pm by Paul
» HISTORY FACTS * Each digit of your ZIP code has a meaning *
Wed 27 Mar 2024, 12:12 pm by Paul
» National Today * International Whiskey Day – March 27, 2024 *
Wed 27 Mar 2024, 12:07 pm by Paul
» March National Celebration Days March 27 2024
Wed 27 Mar 2024, 12:01 pm by Paul
» INFORMATION VINE * The Unknown History of Antarctica *.
Tue 26 Mar 2024, 9:18 am by Paul