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QUICKY OR TWO

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QUICKY OR TWO Empty QUICKY OR TWO

Post by Paul Sat 08 Aug 2015, 7:01 pm

My girlfriend said...
"If one day, you want to run away, just let me know."
Turns out she meant together.

QUICKY OR TWO Wink 

Many hamsters only blink one eye at a time.
And there's me thinking mine fancies me.

QUICKY OR TWO Wink 

I got shouted at on the phone the other day.
Apparently the stroke hot line wasn't what I thought.

QUICKY OR TWO Wink 

Never judge a book by its cover.
Unless you're choosing a porn mag.

QUICKY OR TWO Wink 

There's some people who complain about product placement in films.
They've obviously never seen 'Dildo Lesbians 3'.

QUICKY OR TWO Wink 

The most confusing thing in life is waking up from a nightmare with an erection.

QUICKY OR TWO Wink 

A recent survey has shown that 99% of British men will tell you to fuck off if you try and ask them questions.

QUICKY OR TWO Wink 

I've just paid for my wife and her mother to go to Paris for two weeks.
That's how much I hate the fucking French.

QUICKY OR TWO Wink 

I kissed a girl in the club and she said...
"Oh my God, you've been smoking. It's just like licking an ashtray."
"You non-smokers have some funny fucking habits," I replied.

QUICKY OR TWO Wink 

I went back to some bird's house last night.
After we'd both stripped off, she walked over to her bed and asked...
"Would you prefer to have sex on top or underneath?"
"Definitely on top." I replied, "There's too many shoes underneath."

QUICKY OR TWO Wink 

I had a lot of important things to do today.
Fuck it.
Now I have a lot of important things to do tomorrow.

QUICKY OR TWO Wink 

I went to my first confession at the age of thirteen and I couldn't think of anything to confess.
My second confession was easy: Having anal sex with a priest.

QUICKY OR TWO Wink 

I haven't had a girlfriend in years, so I thought I'd go out and find one.
The wife went fucking mental.


Paul



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