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STUPID SHIT
Valley of the Sun Casual Club :: ENTERTAINMENT , SPORTS & NEWS & SOCIAL MEDIA :: MORE WACKY & RIDICULOUS
Page 1 of 1
STUPID SHIT
by Paul Sun 03 Jul 2016, 5:45 pm
I went to the doctors with hearing problems.
He said “Can u describe the symptoms?”
I said “Homers a fat bloke and Marge has blue hair”
.
My wife came home from work crying yesterday and asked me to console her.
So I hit her over the head with my Xbox.
.
How does Moses make his tea?
Hebrews it.
I’m serious that Israeli how he does it.
.
Just got banned from B&Q, some dickhead in an orange apron came up to me and asked if I wanted decking!!
Lucky I got the first punch in.
.
Just seen a French footballer playing on a nintendo…
It was Thierry on Wii
.
Jimmy Saville, Rolf Harris & Stuart Hall walk into a pub in Ireland.
Barman says “not yew tree again”
.
My new years resolution is to stop using spray on deodorant!
Roll on next year!
.
Burnt my Hawaiian pizza today.
Should have put it on aloha setting.
.
Chris Eubank has just written a book about Ethics.
If it’s a success his next one will be about Kent.
.
Gutted the wife has left me!
She’s took the Sky Box and all my Bob Marley records too.
No woman no Sky
.
A bloke on a tractor has just driven past me shouting “The end of the world is nigh!!”
I think it was Farmer Geddon.
.
I met a girl with 12 nipples today
Sounds fun
Dozen tit
.
Why can’t dyslexics tell jokes?
They always punch up the fuckline.
.
How to work out your twat name…
Take your first name and replace it with Piers.
Now take your surname and replace it with Morgan.
.
If you see someone doing a crossword today, lean over them and say 7 up is Lemonade.
.
News: ‘Boy George’s reptile bites 5 people in one day.’
He needs a calmer chameleon.
.
Having a charity event for people that struggle to orgasm.
Let me know if you can’t come.
.
Fell asleep at a party last night, and someone put a teabag in my mouth, i went mental!!!!
No one treats me like a mug.
.
Me: Doctor you’ve got to help me, I’m addicted to Twitter.
Doctor: I don’t follow you.
He said “Can u describe the symptoms?”
I said “Homers a fat bloke and Marge has blue hair”
.
My wife came home from work crying yesterday and asked me to console her.
So I hit her over the head with my Xbox.
.
How does Moses make his tea?
Hebrews it.
I’m serious that Israeli how he does it.
.
Just got banned from B&Q, some dickhead in an orange apron came up to me and asked if I wanted decking!!
Lucky I got the first punch in.
.
Just seen a French footballer playing on a nintendo…
It was Thierry on Wii
.
Jimmy Saville, Rolf Harris & Stuart Hall walk into a pub in Ireland.
Barman says “not yew tree again”
.
My new years resolution is to stop using spray on deodorant!
Roll on next year!
.
Burnt my Hawaiian pizza today.
Should have put it on aloha setting.
.
Chris Eubank has just written a book about Ethics.
If it’s a success his next one will be about Kent.
.
Gutted the wife has left me!
She’s took the Sky Box and all my Bob Marley records too.
No woman no Sky
.
A bloke on a tractor has just driven past me shouting “The end of the world is nigh!!”
I think it was Farmer Geddon.
.
I met a girl with 12 nipples today
Sounds fun
Dozen tit
.
Why can’t dyslexics tell jokes?
They always punch up the fuckline.
.
How to work out your twat name…
Take your first name and replace it with Piers.
Now take your surname and replace it with Morgan.
.
If you see someone doing a crossword today, lean over them and say 7 up is Lemonade.
.
News: ‘Boy George’s reptile bites 5 people in one day.’
He needs a calmer chameleon.
.
Having a charity event for people that struggle to orgasm.
Let me know if you can’t come.
.
Fell asleep at a party last night, and someone put a teabag in my mouth, i went mental!!!!
No one treats me like a mug.
.
Me: Doctor you’ve got to help me, I’m addicted to Twitter.
Doctor: I don’t follow you.
Paul
Please enjoy
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Paul- Admin
- Posts : 46338
Join date : 2013-05-06 -
Paul- Admin
- Posts : 46338
Join date : 2013-05-06 -
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Valley of the Sun Casual Club :: ENTERTAINMENT , SPORTS & NEWS & SOCIAL MEDIA :: MORE WACKY & RIDICULOUS
Page 1 of 1
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