The Blondes are Back

by **Paul** Sat 25 Feb 2017, 4:21 pm

A blonde was driving down the road.
She noticed that she was low on gas, so she stopped at the gas station.
While she was pumping her gas, she noticed that she had locked the keys in the car.
When she went inside to pay, the blonde asked the attendant for a coat hanger so she could attempt to open the door herself.
She went outside and began to jimmy the lock.
Ten minutes later, the attendant went outside to see how the blonde was faring.
The blonde outside of the car was moving the hanger around and around.
Meanwhile, the blonde inside of the car was saying: "A little more to the left. A little more to the right ... "
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Two blondes are filling up at a petrol station and the first blonde says to the second, "I bet these awful fuel prices are going to go even higher."
The second blonde replies, "Won't affect me, I always put in just $10 worth."
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One day, Jill's husband came home from the office and found her sobbing convulsively.
"I feel terrible," she told him.
"I was pressing your suit and I burned a big hole in the seat of your trousers."
"Forget it," consoled her husband.
"Remember that I bought an extra pair of trousers for that suit."
"Yes, and it's lucky for you that you did," said Jill, drying her eyes.
"I used them to patch the hole."
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Two blondes were walking down the road and the first blonde said, "Look at that dog with one eye!"
The other blonde covers one of her eyes and says, "Where?"
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A blonde decided to redecorate her bedroom.
She wasn't sure how many rolls of wallpaper she would need, but she knew that her blonde friend from next door had recently done the same job and the two rooms were identical in size.
"Buffy," she said, "How many rolls of wallpaper did you buy for your bedroom?"
"Ten," said Buffy.
So the blonde bought the ten rolls of paper and did the job, but she had 2 rolls leftover.
"Buffy," she said.
"I bought ten rolls of wallpaper for the bedroom, but I've got 2 leftover!"
"Yes," said Buffy.
"So did I."
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by **Paul** Sat 28 Jan 2023, 5:01 pm

A blonde bought two horses and could never remember which was which.
A neighbour suggested that she cut off the tail of one horse, which worked great until the other horse got his tail caught in a bush.
The second horse's tail tore in the same place and looked exactly like the other horse's tail.
Our blonde friend was stuck again.
The neighbour then suggested that she notch the ear of one horse, which worked fine until the other horse caught his ear on a barbed wire fence.
Once again, our blonde friend couldn't tell the two horses apart.
The neighbour then suggested that she measure the horses for height.
When she did that, the blonde was very pleased to find that the white horse was 2 inches taller than the black one.
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The executive was interviewing a young blonde for a position in his company.
He wanted to find out something about her personality so he asked, "If you could have a conversation with any person, living or dead, who would that be?"
The blonde quickly responded, "The living one."

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