Google Pizza

Google Pizza

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– Hello! Gordon’s pizza?
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– No sir it’s Google’s pizza.
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– So it’s a wrong number?” Sorry
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– No sir, Google bought it.
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– OK. Take my order please
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– Well sir, you want the usual?”
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– The usual? You know me?
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– According to our caller ID data sheet, in the last 12 times, you ordered pizzawith cheeses, sausage, thick crust.
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– OK! This is it …
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– May I suggest to you this time ricotta, arugula with dry tomato.?
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– What? I hate vegetables.
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– Your cholesterol is not good, sir.”
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– How do you know?
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– We crossed the number of your fixed line with your name, through the subscribers guide.
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- We have the result of your blood tests for the last 7 years.
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– Okay, but I do not want this pizza!,I already take medicine …
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-“Excuse me, but you have not taken the medicine regularly, from our commercial database, 4 months ago, you only purchased a box with 30 cholesterol tablets at Drugsale Network.
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– I bought more from another drugstore.
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– It’s not showing on your credit card statement
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– I paid in cash
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– But you did not withdraw that much cash according to your bank statement
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– I have have other source of cash
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– This is not showing as per you last Tax form unless you bought them from undeclared income source.
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-WHAT THE HELL?
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“I’m sorry, sir, we use such information only with the intention of helping you.
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– Enough! I’m sick of google, facebook, twitter, WhatsApp. I’m going to an Island without internet, cable TV, where there is no cell phone line and no one to watch me or spy on me
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“I understand sir but you need to renew your passport first as it has expired 5 weeks ago

The future is now

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CALLER:Is this Gordon's Pizza?

GOOGLE: No sir, it's Google Pizza.

CALLER: I must have dialed a wrong number. Sorry.

GOOGLE: No sir, Google bought Gordon’s Pizza last month.

CALLER: OK. I would like to order a pizza.

GOOGLE: Do you want your usual, sir?

CALLER: My usual? You know me?

GOOGLE: According to our caller ID data sheet, the last 12 times you called you ordered an extra-large pizza with three cheeses, sausage, pepperoni, mushrooms and meatballs on a thick crust.

CALLER: OK! That’s what I want …

GOOGLE: May I suggest that this time you order a pizza with ricotta, arugula, sun-dried tomatoes and olives on a whole wheat gluten free
thin crust?

CALLER: What? I detest vegetables.

GOOGLE: Your cholesterol is not good, sir.

CALLER: How the hell do you know?

GOOGLE:Well, we cross-referenced your home phone number with your medical records. We have the result of your blood tests for the last 7 years.

CALLER: Okay, but I do not want your rotten vegetable pizza! I already take
medication for my cholesterol.

GOOGLE: Excuse me sir, but you have not taken your medication regularly. According to our database, you only purchased a box of 30 cholesterol tablets once, at Drug RX Network, 4 months ago..

CALLER: I bought more from another drugstore.

GOOGLE: That doesn’t show on your credit card statement.

CALLER: I paid in cash.

GOOGLE: But you did not withdraw enough cash according to your bank
statement.

CALLER: I have other sources of cash.

GOOGLE: That doesn’t show on your last tax return unless you bought them using an undeclared income source, which is against the law.

CALLER: WHAT THE HELL?

GOOGLE: I'm sorry, sir, we use such information only with the sole
intention of helping you.

CALLER: Enough already! I'm sick to death of Google, Facebook, Twitter, Whats App and all the others. I'm going to an island without internet, cable TV, where there is no cell phone service and no one to watch me or spy on me.

GOOGLE: I understand sir, but you need to renew your passport first.
It expired 6 weeks ago…

Google Accidentally Sold Google

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A man called Sanmay Ved has detailed how he was able to use Google’s own domain service to buy Google.com for just $12.

The adventure for Ved started when he was playing around in Google Domains.
He searched google.com and saw that it was, weirdly, available.
And he, as you do, added it to his cart.
He then decided to check out, and paid the handsome sum of $12 to own his very own piece of the internet.

The domain was, at least for a time, actually registered to Ved, it showed in his Google Webmaster Tools along with his existing domain and he received a set of emails from Google accounts, the details of which he didn’t detail, but did say that he had not received similar for previous domain purchases.

What happened next was pretty predictable.
Google managed to reverse the transaction, refunded Ved’s $12 and took back the domain name.
Google could obviously do this quite easily because it owns the registration service, had Google.com appeared on another registrar’s site, things would have got more tricky.

All things considered this sounds like a quirky bug with Google’s own domain registration system.
There are plenty of things that protect domains from being sold in this way, look on whois.net and you’ll see that transfer, deletion and updating are all prohibited.
Why Google’s service though the domain was available is a mystery though, according to the whois database it’s registered until September 14 2020, was first registered on September 15 1997 and was modified last on July 20 2011.

It’s quite unlikely then that Ved took control of the domain in any meaningful way.
Google’s automated systems likely allowed the registration, but when they tried to complete the purchase discovered that the name was unavailable and then automatically refunded the money.
The other parts will have simply been automatic process.

Still, it’s a pretty cool story to tell people about that time you “bought google.com for $12”.