THE WORLD IS BEAUTIFUL

by **Paul** Thu 03 Nov 2022, 2:51 pm

WGT POETRY , QUOTES , MOMENTS , & MORE Discor13

I'm going to start this off , not with peotry . But with 2 classic posts . The first is Rich's post to start off the Let's Be Honest thread . And the second post is one of Paul's " alosso's . Is not only one of my favorites in the Let's Be Honest thread . But one of my all time favorite WGT posts .IMSO one of the strongest and most positive posts of humanity and friendship in all of WGT . When a man travels across the world , across the pond . To another continent . To visit his friend and the family of his friend in WGT . To spend some quality time enjoying new cultures and the hospitality that he so deserved.

NOTE : There is no chronological order in this thread . Some contributors works are posted together . While some of their works remain in the original thread . There ARE 2 pages .

Please enjoy .

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renniw52
5,385 Posts

Tue, Feb 26 2013 12:59 PM

If you can. Let's really get to know who we are dealing with. This is Renniw52, I will be 61 in June. Happily married for 42 years, 3 kids, 7 grand kids, known as OLD SCHOOL. I travel the Eastern US as a tech rep for Industrial, Automotive and Marine coatings. I love to cook, deep sea fishing, and golfing with what friends that still can. I smoke camels, and drink beer like it will be gone tomorrow. I don't make a lot of money, and don't plan on taking it with me, or leave it to the ones I taught to make their own. I enjoy this crazy game, and my friends I have met on here. I drive an Impala, my 15th one. My first was a 1963-409 SS I bought my Senior year of high school. It was 3 years old, and I thought I was the $hit. Any thing else is just what it is.
NEXT

17,186 Sun, Jun 14 2015 5:00 AM

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alosso
16,634 Posts

LET'S BE HONEST

To be honest...
I visited the USA recently, GA, AL, MS, LA, TN, experienced a lot of Southern history and present life and nature, enjoyed the music on Burbon, Frenchmen and Beale Streets, held a baby gator in my hands and visited my first ever motor races - Thursday Thunder on Atlanta Motorway. Travelled with my son for ten days - a special encounter due to the usual distance in our everyday lives in Germany. Played six golf courses (including St. Andrews GA), two of them with my dear friend and host of two days, Mr. Squirrelnutz, a fine Gentleman with a helluva family! His grandchildren contended well in the races but unfortunately let the victory go. Better chance next week!
I had some reservations before from all the reports and rumour I heard from the distance over the years (security issues both ways etc.) but that proved to be secondary - we had a good time all the time, no issues at all and ev1 was welcoming and friendly. Loved to cruise through the forests (special mention to Natchez Trace south of Jackson MS and the uphill road from Fort Payne AL to Weiss Lake in the sunset). We were mightily impressed by the presentation of Ol’ Man River's live model on Mud Island, Memphis TN.
In Indianola MS, we honored the late BB King - unfortunately there was no time given for Elvis in Graceland.
Learned a lot of new words including crawfish, hash browns, grits, tator, gumbo (ehm - all related to food) - edit: NOLA -, things like 4-way stop crossings, free right turn on red pork chop pounders from a green egg etc.
Old memory was awakened when we boarded Steamboat Natchez for a Harbor Jazz Cruise of New Orleans. It proved to be the same vessel, Natchez IX,
whose Calliope concert I had observed 38 years ago when both of us were still young, 2 and 23 ys resp. WGT POETRY , QUOTES , MOMENTS , & MORE Icon_wink

Eventually, I left the country with a grand bag of nice memories and a bucket list of things to do and places to

LET'S BE HONEST

by **Paul** Sat 05 Nov 2022, 7:15 am

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LizzieRossetti
1,545 Posts

Mon, Dec 6 2010 4:18 PM

Weeehah!
So,turned down by the Bodelian huh?Well IN YER FACE BODELIAN! I made the ENQUIRER!
And fer the benignfit of those too mean or sqeamish to lash out the creds,heres the hole pome in its rich bright glittered fulness.
'Twas the night before my colonoscopy
Dimpsey turned her frost hoared cheek,the sun was waning quick
A day of bells like meter jingles,mid deep bethpage rough so slick
All my woods snuggled soft,and wearing ribboned hoods
Next and mingled to iron,wedge,nay all my golfing goods
I strolled replete,I walked in jaunty step I did,
And thus engaged,did not see,where bigfoot he had hid
Aye passed he by with ne'er a nod,nor felt his breath against my cheek
Wandered on feckless I,tootled by and past the 17th creek
From on high,yes in the scented sky I watched a starbright glow
Sun now bid his last goodbye,ball filled brook beside me now did flow
To all the world no such pleasure could ever fill
Nor my joy at a 32,could nothing ever kill
But hark! a noise disturbs my tranquil wander
Turning deft a shadow fleets,and sudden causes me to ponder
Quickened pulse now matched by step,I hurry time apace
In the trees a welcome light,I feel the glow upon my face
Turning thus my senses rare,I tramp heavy 'cross the green
Heading urgent fast and quick,away from what I thought I'd seen
I passed a twisted spider,its last bad putt its sentance there
Stuck for all the world,inside a rabbit warren lair
I dare not tarry and hurry by,that light glowing blue
I step across the foxgloves,to where I have no clue
Mildewed balls underfoot,lost long before my time
Glowered trees spiked and sad,far from looking fine
Still behind I hear that swish,like ding missed 50 shot
And furthermore,the footsteps,into mine they seem to slot
Now the heaving throws of something large,breaking twigs at will
I fear the more,for being short,I fancy I have little blood to spill
Tripping here and stumbled much,I final reach that light
Not the keewah rental,nor anything so nice,I screaming sense my plight
A humming now,surround sound awful 'pon the ear
A light so hot,I feel my skin,I feel it start to sear
Oh Lor for me!Oh who can save me now,I'm done
Fearing crispy crittered Liz,ere before the rise of next days sun
And in the tumult in the toss,a voice so sonorous loud
Hacking slash right behind,above me shimmering misty cloud
Shapes that whisper in my sight,and fuse as if all one
To my knees I fall,find a golfers bag,to crash my head upon
That voice again uncommon deep,yet something in it tolls
I quickly flash zapruda lens,and think of grassy knolls
It spake my name,I'm sure of that,tho' fuzzed and crackled so
I hear in mighty tone,it telling bigfoot that he must away and go
Bigfoot turns,yelling fear,and in his turn he makes a wind,just like a fan
And I look up this Christmas eve,to my saviour,Yancy Can

Woo! Check me out!(Actually you can at www.freewebs.com/rossettihighplaces/ or just google "The Rossetti pages")
Lizziex

LizzieRossetti
1,545 Posts

Thu, Jun 23 2011 2:43 PM

Your average has to be below 61, and you have to play an unspecified number of games before you will tier up.
Some believe that for the first 50 games of ranked play, your average will go both up and down according to your scores, but this number has not been confirmed. After this cruel probationary period, your average will only drop and will no longer climb, even if you have a bad game. After 18 years of slicing 0.00000003 off your average you will reach an average of 61.01 which happily means you only have 4236 games to go before you reach Legend Tier, assuming each and every game records a score of 60. I suggest you buy in a supply of Military Ration Packs, or MRE's in Americanese to sustain life for the duration.
FYI, the youngest Legend currently on this site is 104 years old, having started Wgt in 1912. This was especially handy because he received a pass for both World Wars due to the important nature of his habit. He also lived on cheese which gave him a necessarily high cholesterol count and quickened his heartrate, baffling medical science at the time, who were then still disinterring the recent deceased at dead of night to saw off various bits to practice on. Highgate Cemetary was not a good place to be after dark.
The recommended daily dose of Wgt for anyone wishing to attain Legend status, is 47 full 18 hole rounds per day, played on a 45 second clock. Engage the services of a competant financial advisor who should be able to maximise worth on your house for you, whilst at the same time securing a rough tent in a field with broadband access available from the hill farmer from whom you rent your 2 sq metres of grass. The funds realised from such a deal will keep you in callaways for just long enough to endure the probationary period mentioned above, and the following years, provided your Financial advisor has invested wisely.
Also, buy in aluminium kitchen foil now while the price is stable, you will find that waste is best wrapped in foil since it tends to hold in the aroma and you shouldn't be bothetred overmuch by the farmers dogs curious as to the smell. During the hours of non play (3am EST to 5am EST ) you will be able to bury the foil wraps, or sell them to local street vendors, who will cut them scandalously with poppy products from the silk trail and move them on in far smaller foil wraps.
Should you wish to reduce expenditure on water ( A known antidote to Biscuits Brown from HM military ration packs) then I suggest you remove to Borrowdale in the English Lake District, where nature provides ample enough.
There is a possibility that you are encumbered with a spouse and all that that entails, of course your best remedy here is to divorce forthwith and send her/him packing with 44 calloways with which they can purchase a tidy 6 bedroom mansion with decking and a swimming pool. Make sure you settle for a no returns cut.
Let them have the family car, you will not be needing transport for a very long time.
Please enjoy your stay here at Wgt, to your right you will find emergency exits here, and here. In the event of a system failure, a copy of The national Enquirer will drop down from the locker above your head.
Lizzie xx

LizzieRossetti
1,545 Posts

Fri, Feb 25 2011 3:11 PM

You can be the round one,and I will be your fool
you can be the sergeant,I will sketch the chart
you can choose a destiny,I will give it heart
you can say ready set!,I will happy start
you can make a work box,I will use the tools
because;
Trendy togs tattered troos trusty tainted titfer,
makes no odd to me,for that is just the dressing
when deep within behind your eyes,there friend lies the blessing
we can walk or run so far,dust kicked up at lucifer
on and ever on,the fool and friend who's round
friendship looped with fancy remains a friendship bound
Although;
Drowsey dippy darling daughter dreads deliscious dish
and on fridays every week all I eat is fish
I can't run without I win,whatever race Im in
madness creeps upon my soul,every lunar bright
that my liege is when I really should,be kept in at night
I have wanders easy start can't guess where it ends
but fierce and loyal ever true,I defend my friends
I speak out what I feel,sometimes to my cost
betray me not for verily,my glare is sure to frost
you may need a helper,pin me to the ground
for rile me bad and in me justice hammer pounds
Yet;
There is sweetness twixt the twain,like sugar to a bun
but only if and only when you smile despite your fears
and hold me close with nothing said,when my face bears tears
and closer nothing gets,when we are baked in sun
tho' rain and drear too has a place for I love both as much
so fool and round all you care,just take me as above and such

Lizzie xx

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LizzieRossetti
1,545 Posts

Mon, Aug 8 2011 9:45 AM

She is your lover she is your friend, her caress soothes an aching heart, her kiss behind the ear is a whisper heaven sent, her breath upon your cheek speaks of pleasure beyond endure. You feel her ever near and know to her you will yield, her siren call so strong from across a crowded room a silent whispered call, "I want you" mouthed by lip and look alone, a loop of golden tress, hooked over deft and clever so, says all you need to know. You feel so strong and proud with her gentle acquiesce, and boldly stride strident out, heart pounding in your breast, hope enlivened clear you tell her she must not fear, and you miss the curl of simper smile, the look she casts away, lost now in her grip, lost and glad forsooth.
You cannot remember aye, those early days of bliss, when every shot you made, was rewarded with her kiss, the days when wind was foul, yet never did you miss, and all the while you hover, twixt this world and the next, for in her silken talons, she carries you to her nest. Helpless now to falter, nor take a backward step, your fate was sealed and long ago, from her sweet embrace, you no longer care to flee, and she looks out upon you now, that smile a smile of glee.
Still you must not wonder, nor ever question so, her ways you took to heart when you were set to go. VEM is all of this, and wonders never cease, this she that holds you now, and will not, will not bring you peace.

Lizzie xx

LizzieRossetti
1,545 Posts

Mon, Aug 8 2011 1:46 PM

Lizzies Lament

Bright the day and too my look, it was
Spirit alight and too my smile,because
Sunbeams lanced like merry spear they did
And dappled leaf danced with nothing hid
Unsheathed agleam, a stick, a pole the ball to hit
My dream then as I drew, that in the hole an easy fit.

Single soar behind the glocken hollow whack,
I'm sure I heard a whistle, and a crisp clean crack
There was nought of any offend, where ball did final land
Nowhere near the rough, the fescue or the sand
The birds were all a twitter, and so my heart leapt too
Never was a drive so fine and oh so very true

Cupping hand above my brow, I spied the yonder green
Never yet this close and straight, had I ever been
There was nothing in the way, save some feet or ten
This was why I picked, the wedge that I chose then,
My partner only glared, for his shot had sadness writ,
And fallen by the side, deep in that wiley old sandpit

Well like one always must, I watched as his flew wide
A smile of rue from he, as the ball ran down the side
A stance I took and careful did my shot I aim
This time as before, and hoped for outcome same
My backswing failed me not, the loft I had just right
Imagine then my surprise, as ball ran out of sight

My gay step that started out, had left me at this time
And clouds they gathered round, and took out all the shine
Behind me I could hear, mirth bad held in I swear
Pretended me not to know, and showed by flick of hair
Still trudged ahead, my grimace pained me so
All the way up and up, as far as I could go

Sitting smiling up, a grin in every dimple
I saw my ball right then, and believed the lie not simple
My turn now for I was farthest out
To commune with he, I surely would have the need of shout
With luck I might just see the pin, thirty feet of drop I saw
And a hundred ten little feet, to compliment my dropping jaw

Now I have seen the lightening, and cars that go so quick
But ne'er have I seen, a golf ball faster still, and oh so very slick
Now my partner turned, so his laughter would not smirch
As into rough I ventured, the long grass to tickle at my skirts
My fourth no better played, indeed I vented a little temper mood
For not two feet hence, was my smiling ball steady glued

And so my fifth, before e'er my partner played a third
Was taken swift without a care, and not as I preferred
Finally and at last, the hole was almost done
After six, I can tell you it became no more fun

Lizzie xx :-)

LizzieRossetti1,545 Posts Thu, Nov 11 2010 3:24 PMAS a serving member of Great Britains Armed Forces,here is my contribution. Tattered Flag Creeping up the sands,comes the sea in daily driveEach wave a let,that lets me see my pastNe'er would the water let all my friends surviveAnd as the tide is turning,taking back so fastI clasp my hands together,fingers tightly furledIn my palm my memories,twisted,tattered,curledI think of days before,those where joy would gaily runOf all the deeds we made,promises now unkeptThe sunny days now past,I recall such unfettered funRemember too those nights,evenings when we weptAnother of us gone,taken far away,too far for us to getIn my palm my memories,folded,crumpled,tearstained wetOnce we stood upright,our standard crisply turnedSnapping full of colours,our flag could not be better readYet time and sickle,fey old man of death,he spurnedTaking one by one,and early so,souls he took for deadThe sand of shift between my toes,red sunset on the waveIn my palm my memories,taken swift but oh so braveLeft as if alone neath soaring lark and eagle wingHair whipped across my face,looking out I see themHand unstilled and at my heart,I silent softly singI still remember,and fond it is as true,their spirits I still kenWetness at my foot,and running down my cheekIn my palm my memories,with me yet I am weakTurning landward bound,to the cliffs I must surmountHeavy steps that drag,without my friends to helpHappy tho' my heart,that they of them gave fair accountTwisting snakes about my feet,hampered with slick kelpLooking now then up,the quiver'd lip now stilledIn my palm my memories,I know my grasp is filledOur flag that day was muted,the snap no longer loudTorn and split asunder,each piece anothers soulAnd yet for all of this,we stand together still,and oh so proudAwaiting turn at demon joust,that sinouos curtain callMy hand is opened gentle,each finger one by oneIn my palm revealed,memories fine of those now goneMy tattered flag our token,My piece of it still warmAnd when I go like those before,it will lie atop my aching formLizzie.

LizzieRossetti1,545 Posts

Wed, Feb 5 2014 4:25 AM

from the thread So dear friends...
So a year to the day ago, I found out I had Acute Myloid Leaukaemia.And Today, following a healthy period of remission, I get the call to go back in from my consultant because my remission appears to be over. I could tell you that life sucks, but actually no, no it doesn't. Not when you have had a year of borrowed time, a second chance if you like.I knew before the consultant did because two nights ago, my dog sneaked into my bed and curled up beside me, I like to think because he knew, and was just giving me the heads up. Just like he would do last year before I knew.Today for me then, is a time to reflect on the wonderful 30 and a bit years I have already enjoyed, and to enjoy the day experiencing all that beauty that lies around us, waiting, waiting for me to notice it. A time to think about all those times I was angry at things that no longer matter, and the people I was upset by, for no real reason, and those whom I upset.I would like to think I was serenity itself but yet inside I can feel a thrilling tremble, one that makes my fingers twitch and my mind race, crowded with thoughts, ideas, and yes, dreams, for who yet knows?So this is my little note to everyone who still enjoys life without the expectancy, nay certainty of definable death. Be at peace, be placid, and rejoice in what you have for you know not when you will lose it. Send the anger and the rants to a darker place, and simply enjoy your time, tell someone that you love them, and cry freely at beautiful things. Hold tight something that you cannot do without, and think before you speak because you cannot unspeak.I would love to think I could patch my scrawl to these pages for a long time yet, but hey, I will try, but my promise is likely to be broken. So dear friends... Lizzie xx
TNP56510 Posts Wed, Feb 5 2014 5:13 AM
I am so speechless Liz all I can say is be strong--fight hard--but stay positive & I will think of you everyday with my best wishes & love
BubbaSauce260 Posts Wed, Feb 5 2014 5:25 AM
Lizzie,I don't even know you. Heck, I didn't even know you existed here on WGT. But that touched me.My wife and I are going through a lot of troubles of our own. She lost her job last May and still hasn't found a new one. We're on the verge of losing our house and our cars. Our youngest daughter, 16, suffers from severe anxiety and depression (after a childhood of seemingly endless happiness) and our older daughter, 24, can't seem to get her head out of her, you-know-what, and act like a real adult. Add to that, my wife's dad recently had a second leg amputation so now we're saddled with more chores of having to do for him what he now can't do for himself.Your words, however, hit home. It's easy to feel overwhelmed in our situation, or to think that it's easy for someone in your position to be able to just let go and appreciate what you have and love what's around you. But what you said is true.No matter what happens to us, we still need to appreciate and enjoy what we have. Not that it's going to be easy, but the alternative is to slowly kill ourselves anyway with stress and worry.So, take some comfort in knowing that you have touched at least one person. And I will remember your words when I get to feeling down.-Rob
raycin1019377 Posts Wed, Feb 5 2014 5:35 AM
Lizzie, I am so sorry to hear about your situation. i was diagnosed two years ago with Prostate Cancer. I scheduled an operation only to be informed that they could not operate because, unknown to me, i was also diabetic. it was a hard fight for six months to reduce my glucose levels to allow me to have the operation. Now, two years later, i am cancer free and have my sugar (most of the time) under control. When i received the dual hit two years ago, i was initially crushed. But after reflection, i realized that i had lived a charmed life. I was 63 and this was the first time i was ever in a hospital. I had been married to the most wonderful woman in the world for 42 years. My son was a fine young gentleman, married to a really nice girl...we even liked her parents. My grandson was healthy and a real treat to be around. I realized that my life had been a dream and i was embarassed about feeling sorry for myself.When i read your post, those feelings returned. I can only say that you have my hopes and my prayers that remission will re-occur and you will be able to live a long and happy life. Please keep us up to date
mrcaddie2,429 Posts Wed, Feb 5 2014 7:58 AM
Lizzie-That was the most profoundly moving post I have ever read in these forums.I truly wish you all the best.Wayne
Kurtsbuford7,592 Posts Wed, Feb 5 2014 11:07 AM
Lizzie, you're a beautiful person and a literary genius, so please stay with us!
anobair696 Posts Wed, Feb 5 2014 2:03 PM
Lizzie.Your words are very moving and yet I find a strength and dignity in them.My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.May you have warm words on a cold evening.A full moon on a dark night, and a smooth roadall the way to your door.David.
PaulTon10,731 Posts Wed, Feb 5 2014 2:39 PM
LizzieRossetti:So this is my little note to everyone who still enjoys life without the expectancy, nay certainty of definable death. Be at peace, be placid, and rejoice in what you have for you know not when you will lose it. Send the anger and the rants to a darker place, and simply enjoy your time, tell someone that you love them, and cry freely at beautiful things. Hold tight something that you cannot do without, and think before you speak because you cannot unspeak.
One of the best paragraphs I have ever read.
renniw525,385 Posts Wed, Feb 5 2014 4:57 PM
Lizzie, we go way back. The first time I ever had the chance to play with you I thought I made the big time. We have had some fun playing, although way to little. I am one of the old Corp players who know you for what you are, what you will always be to us. You are priceless, a part of our lives that cannot be replaced. Keep fighting and stay with us. I have no words that will convey my feelings other than WE LOVE YOU GIRL.Rich
SweetiePie4,925 Posts Wed, Feb 5 2014 6:51 PM
~LR~The irreplaceable. I am too deeply moved to say anything.Peace, Grace and Love ForeverLily

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alanti10,563 Posts

Thu, Feb 6 2014 12:12 AM

A truly refreshing outlook on life, that hopefully will still be a long one far beyond your 30 and a bit years, not just for your sake but for those who are around you - I am sure your outlook also motivates and encourages them.When I was 12 my mother was diagnosed with Breast Cancer, and was given 4 months to live. Her view was not unlike yours and cherished every moment no matter how trivial it may have seemed. As a twelve year old it was hard to comprehend, but ironically her philosophy was ingrained in me, and usually I try to see the good in everything. Never can I recall her complaining about anything.The good news was my mother defied all the odds and lived into my 20s, saw me grow up, mature and get a career, of which I know she was proud. I was actually in London when I got the call of her passing, but deep down knew she would make the most of whatever actually comes next. I wish you the best Lizzie, there are not enough people like you in the world.
MBaggese15,356 Posts Thu, Feb 6 2014 1:58 AM
Wow...we've touched forum post before, but this has touched me so greatly. I've nothing to say Liz, and you'd think after10K post I would;)
ScottHope8,926 Posts Thu, Feb 6 2014 2:14 AM
andwhy672,816 Posts Thu, Feb 6 2014 2:20 AM
God bless you Lizzie, thoughts and prayers go with you!!Reading here some of the reply's and i'm welling up a bit!!
mar10170 Posts Thu, Feb 6 2014 4:22 AM
I've never played with you Lizzie, but I've always been drawn to your Forum posts.Your latest post brings to mind the saying "only the good die young".May you find strength and serenity, you funny, intelligent, brave girl.Maria xx
Madmoser392 Posts Thu, Feb 6 2014 8:01 AM
Stay strong and remember jesus is always with you mike
BubbaCrusher0071,567 Posts Thu, Feb 6 2014 9:24 AM
LizzieRossetti:cry freely at beautiful things.
I did, I cried when I read this. You are wonderful.Jeff
andyson6,415 Posts Thu, Feb 6 2014 10:47 AM
Lizzie,Knowing you has been a joy! With you I've been amazed, I've been in awe, I've learned, I've wondered, I've laughed (alot) and now I've cried.Be strong, stay with us, don't give up Lizzie! You are in my prayers, as is your family.Your illness may take you away from us but it wlll never take away my memories, respect, and love of you. I promise.AndyP.S. Scratch Boo's ears and give him a good belly rub for me.
dandycap1,785 Posts Thu, Feb 6 2014 12:03 PM
Dear God; Please help Lizzie. Please take her pain away. Please heal her so that she can continue to be the generous and loving person, I believe, she is. I hope YOU don't mind that I continue to request this favor again. Amen
Jimbog19648,378 Posts Thu, Feb 6 2014 1:14 PM
Watched this thread a while. I guess many of us have seen some good people taken away too soon. There simply is no justice.I don't know you. You are still so very young. An incredible post.My best.James

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CanineSupervisor1,882 Posts

Thu, Apr 3 2014 2:23 PM

Now iffin Ma herd yeh speak like a wurkin' gurl down ta Billy Jo's Pig Shack, she wood hav ta give yeh that there bar o lye soap, lil brother.Bess be glad ima no snitch and such, fer iffin I wuz, Pa mite evun git a goin with his ol' hick'ry stick switch on yer backside out to the wood shed.What yeh said up ther and such...lmao...extra cetera and such beins
sdorr650 Posts Thu, Apr 3 2014 3:54 PM
OOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHh I sees, don't tryin to lay the blame on yur yunger sibling, says U! Says I, and I have the proof you scalluywag handmedown of two rottnen britchesses full a borax, mis-appropriated and fully mis-spelled.OH Dear Lord, where was I?My Queen, Yes my lady! I am sure I am correct. That is Paul's poo.
renniw525,385 Posts Thu, Apr 3 2014 4:12 PM
Ya She B-tches of a Goats Gizzard have gone to name calling and whatnots. The Old Squirrel Nutz checks in on occasions. I just don't have the time to be my adorable self as usual, but has anyone heard how our precious jewel is doing? Even during a busy day I wonder. I only know Lizzie briefly from a few games over the years but have always wished I could have met her in person. In my prayers and dreams I will. Be well Dear.
sdorr650 Posts Thu, Apr 3 2014 5:11 PM
renniw52:but has anyone heard how our precious jewel is doing?
Ya Rodent, a couple up and to the left. She Kicked Paul's ass, get with the program mate.She is doing, and that is what matters. My apologies for being harsh. I am tired and keepin tract of this little las, has me worn plumb out. But I shall remain and wait.
renniw525,385 Posts Thu, Apr 3 2014 5:44 PM
Got ya, Rodent out. I apologize.
sdorr650 Posts Thu, Apr 3 2014 11:34 PM
No need for that!
renniw52:I apologize.
I am just a little grumpy as of late. I quit smoking 5 days ago and I am a sonofabitch to be round. Everything just pisses me off right now, Sorry Renn, it's not you.I hope to be back to my loving, adorable self here shortly. Until then, just shut up and stay out of my way. That goes for you too, Paul. Zip it! LOL.Have this... for a nice day! THA,............. doodoo. get it? get out! I'm grumpy!
sdorr650 Posts Fri, Apr 4 2014 3:09 AM
OIh dear Lord and the mercies of the seven heaven tramps above, I've done it and proudly so, and so shall ya see my BRAGGIN rights, here, this very day laddy. I got the constipated constriction of your contraption to relax just enough to pop yourself right out of there. Thingamabob! eh? et tu por va for ya lazy dsomeofanbithches!! yep, but it's got all kinds of "GOO" seaping off it, those crazy doctors done a number or two in it, on it eww.May I please borrow Lambert to come fetch this here one of a kind find. I sure ain't gonna touch it, but I probed it with a big stick and that stuck, now it resembles a large over sized tortoured frog with five legs and my flame thrower gismo is lookin pretty sweet right bout now. I am lookin at my options now right here, so put your woolin britches panties back on, I ain't fired it yet. Oh dear Joseph and Mary, help me now. They come at me from all sides. What's a man to do??
CanineSupervisor1,882 Posts Fri, Apr 4 2014 6:19 AM
LMAO !!!! SdorrableWhaindefeck are you smokin lil brother? Oooppss, my bad, you ain't a smokin...but I wuz whenan iffin yeh went off on thiz hear tidey bowl raid and know I havta make that 10 mile walk up hill booth ways down to the Voluntear Fahr House to have meh 9 iron golfin club removed from a senseetiff areea cuzzin I dun went and fell over back'erds reading this hear postin yeh bean doin.
mara431,674 Posts Fri, Apr 4 2014 4:03 PM
sdorr:but I probed it with a big stick and that stuck, now it resembles a large over sized tortoured frog with five legs
hope your keeping well Lizzie........remember to keep tacking in the breeze............:-)
renniw525,385 Posts Fri, Apr 4 2014 5:42 PM
youns boyz bee talkin noncence eye kant uderstand. Eye desided 2 knot bee parts uf de conferzation due 2 de fackt eye ham kompleetlee loset.

Mushy012,567 Posts

Fri, Apr 4 2014 5:52 PM

showin daz age nutz dragger , itz Lozt lmao

CanineSupervisor1,882 Posts

Fri, Apr 4 2014 11:34 PM

renniw52:youns boyz bee talkin noncence eye kant uderstand. Eye desided 2 knot bee parts uf de conferzation due 2 de fackt eye ham kompleetlee loset.

Obviously not kompleetlee lowst, bawbag...LMAO !!!R - where you live...just walk outside and have a listen and you'll be fully equipped to join our happy lil group. You dun deed a reel good job of ritin' tha abuve partz and such. PMSL !!!!

by **Paul** Sat 05 Nov 2022, 7:22 am

WGT POETRY , QUOTES , MOMENTS , & MORE U304032_20200216_070644.jpg?0.143

opyeuclid:
I had a job at a place called Furniture land ,, Mondays were always very slow and the owner was never there on that day.. So when the cat,s away the mice will play ,,
I was the new guy and wanted to fit in with the rest of the joker,s that worked there..
I asked the girl at the front desk to page someone for me , This will be great fun I told myself as I turned away and saw that the owner had just walked in ,, It was too late to stop her and then over the store wide PA system came this ,,
Would Mr Meoff please return to the bedding department ,, Mr Jack Meoff
I was looking for a new job the next day !
True story

That's a very nice story...unfortunately..."Mr. Meoff" >> "Mr. Jack Meoff" that reply came from an old 'Richard Pryor' movie!!

No it's fortunate that Opy had a chance to do it .

by **Paul** Sat 05 Nov 2022, 7:32 am

WGT POETRY , QUOTES , MOMENTS , & MORE 30557_20091218_110704.jpg?0.158

WGTalex
2,087 Posts

Thu, Jun 4 2009 10:36 AM

Hi everyone, this thread has obviously gotten out of hand and we will be locking it. If you'd like to discuss the issue of resetting averages feel free to start a new post. We've said before that we read every thread in here, and we do. Even though we cannot respond to every suggestion and complaint, we do read them to keep a pulse on what the community is liking/disliking. Our challenge is to take your feedback and balance them against our overall objectives and priorities. As you know these are inextricably linked and it's a delicate balancing act. Nothing delights us more than when our players are happy, but sometimes we have to make hard decisions, like delay a feature or refrain from a requested change. We can't make everybody happy, but we can hope that our players understand that we are trying to do what's best, we are passionate, we try hard, and that they will support us even if they don't always agree with us.
As WGTAdmin stated earlier, we never intended the average score to be something to fixate on. We will change this, and it will make it less imperative to reset. Please be patient with us as we make the adjustments (it has been 10 days since our last release), and in the meantime we will be reading your posts...

by **Paul** Sat 05 Nov 2022, 7:40 am

Who's your "coolest" WGT name? (Virtual only)

oneputtdavid
1,337 Posts Tue, Nov 8 2011 9:36 PM
I have a few.......
Iconion
Avatar Lee
Priestess
Sixkiller
Tibbetts
StoneColdKiller.....just to name a few of "MY" favs.
My personal fav is Iconian (no were not soul mates)...........What's yours?
ps..Lizzie Rossetti I like also...but not quite sure its VIRTUAL
SHRUDE
5,835 Posts Sat, Nov 12 2011 10:39 PM
piztaker
5,743 Posts Sat, Nov 12 2011 10:44 PM
...but do they suit their character?
SANDHAWK
528 Posts Sat, Nov 12 2011 11:36 PM
sandhawk
zagraniczniak
1,984 Posts Sat, Nov 12 2011 11:52 PM
IvaThongon
is the hands-down winner
overtheedge
5,878 Posts Sun, Nov 13 2011 3:00 AM
IvaThongon is very good. I agree zagran. As for piztaker observation - does the name fit the character - overtheedge - just ask lvietri about mine...lol.
TWOMINUSONE
2,580 Posts Sun, Nov 13 2011 3:28 AM
Avatar Lee is a great name, simple but effective . Great play on words by Iva also. And from reading PIZ,s posts, very suitable also, lol.
zagraniczniak
1,984 Posts Sun, Nov 13 2011 5:50 AM

Hunhh? I thought she was just a member of the Thongon family.

@TWOMINUSONE:wrote :
Great play on words by Iva also.
SgtDoodles
3,112 Posts Sun, Nov 13 2011 8:34 AM
IvaThongon, piztaker, LizzieRossetti, SgtDoodles, StoneColdKiller, iconian, tibbets, PRIESTESS, b0geybuster.
BUT, the obvious winner is IvaThongon.
IvaThongon
932 Posts Thu, Nov 24 2011 11:21 AM
LMAO, thank you all...

salamii
1,058 Posts Thu, Nov 24 2011 12:40 PM
Without a doubt. The coolest wgt name would have to be my own.
AlBUnderpar
466 Posts Sun, Nov 27 2011 7:18 AM

Jenn...I actually thought that was ur real name b4...DAH!!!...slow 2 catch on sometimes...but u cudda put a vote in 4 me....AL B UNDERPAR...lol...how about a friend...T ED UP...kinda like that one...simple and a very good word play on an appropriate name 4 a WGT player...he has a Profile pic to go with his username as well.

IvaThongon:
LMAO, thank you all...
IvaThongon
932 Posts Mon, Nov 28 2011 9:38 PM

ok, ok, sal...you have the coolest wgt name...
i'll have to settle for being wgt's coolest player

salamii:

Without a doubt. The coolest wgt name would have to be my own.
tedbundy
1 Posts Mon, Nov 28 2011 10:09 PM
Really, IvaThongon ? Yes really in a landslide!!!!!!!
TheTigerEye
259 Posts Thu, Dec 1 2011 11:37 PM
TheTigerEye or T-T-E
MBaggese
15,356 Posts Fri, Dec 2 2011 12:09 AM
Iva is at the top of my list
Wannadume is a close 2nd=hell of a MP'er
For forum rats, I like:'
Soulcatcher
I'll edit and add as I sober up!!
nanstar
4,914 Posts Fri, Dec 2 2011 12:17 AM
Lord Elpus

by **Paul** Sat 05 Nov 2022, 7:50 am

WGT POETRY , QUOTES , MOMENTS , & MORE U937359_20120815_204412.jpg?0.158

StrangeMagic
1,304 Posts

Sun, Feb 26 2012 8:42 AM

Golf Poem

In My Hand I Hold A Ball,

White And Dimpled, And Rather Small.

Oh, How Bland It Does Appear,

                     This Harmless Looking Little Sphere.

                            The Awesome Strength It Does Possess.

                                But Since I Fell Beneath Its Spell,

                          I've Wandered Through The Fires Of Hell.

                             My Life Has Not Been Quite The Same

Since I Chose To Play This Stupid Game.

                                It Rules My Mind For Hours On End;

                                  A Fortune It Has Made Me Spend.

                            It Has Made Me Curse And Made Me Cry,

                               And Hate Myself And Want To Die.

It Promises Me A Thing Called Par,

If I Hit It Straight And Far.

To Master Such A Tiny Ball,

Should Not Be Very Hard At All.

But My Desires The Ball Refuses,

And Does Exactly As It Chooses.

It Hooks And Slices, Dribbles And Dies,

And Disappears Before My Eyes.

Often It Will Have A Whim,

To Hit A Tree Or Take A Swim.

With Miles Of Grass On Which To Land,

It Finds A Tiny Patch Of Sand.

Then Has Me Offering Up My Soul,

If Only It Would Find The Hole.

It's Made Me Whimper Like A Pup,

And Swear That I Will Give It Up.

And Take To Drink To Ease My Sorrow,

But The Ball Knows ... I'll Be Back Tomorrow.

             Stand proud you noble swingers of clubs and losers of balls!

     A recent study found that the average golfer walks about 900 miles a year.

   Another study found that golfers drink, on average, 22 gallons of alcohol       a year.

This means that, on average, golfers get about 41 miles to the gallon!

Kind of makes you proud. Almost makes you feel like a hybrid. . .

by **Paul** Sat 05 Nov 2022, 7:54 am

WGT POETRY , QUOTES , MOMENTS , & MORE U11285200_20221027_214949.jpg?0.158

twinponds169
2,910 Posts

Sun, Sep 10 2017 7:15 PM

I've got a little black book with my poems in.
Got a bag with a toothbrush and a comb in.
When I'm a good dog, they sometimes throw me a bone in.

I got elastic bands keeping my shoes on.
Got those swollen hand blues.
Got thirteen channels of shiite on the T.V. to choose from.
I've got electric light.
And I've got second sight.
And amazing powers of observation.
And that is how I know
When I try to get through
On the telephone to you
There'll be nobody home.

I've got the obligatory Hendrix perm.
And the inevitable pinhole burns
All down the front of my favorite satin shirt.
I've got nicotine stains on my fingers.
I've got a silver spoon on a chain.
I've got a grand piano to prop up my mortal remains.

I've got wild staring eyes.
And I've got a strong urge to fly.
But I got nowhere to fly to.
Ooooh, Babe when I pick up the phone
There's still nobody home.

I've got a pair of Gohills boots
and I got fading roots.

twinponds169
2,910 Posts

Sun, Sep 10 2017 7:25 PM

Not the torturer will scare me
Nor the body's final fall
Nor the barrels of death's rifles
Nor the shadows on the wall
Nor the night when to the ground
The last dim star of pain, is hurled
But the blind indifference
Of a merciless, unfeeling world
Lying in the burnt out shell
Of some Albanian farm
An old Babushka
Holds a crying baby in her arms
A soldier from the other side
A man of heart and pride
Breaks ranks, lays down his rifle
To kneel by her side
He gives her water
Binds her wounds
And calms the crying child
A touch gives absolution then
Across the great divide
He picks his way back through the broken
China of her life
And there at the curb
The samaritan Serb turns and waves ... goodbye
And each small candle
Lights a corner of the dark
Each small candle
Lights a corner of the dark
Each small candle lights a corner of the dark
When the wheel of pain stops turning
And the branding iron stops burning
When the children can be children
When the desperados weaken
When the tide rolls into greet them
And the natural law of science
Greets the humble and the mighty
And the billion candles burning
Lights the dark side of every human mind
Each small candle
Each small candle
Each small candles lights the dark side of every human mind
And each small candle
Lights a corner of the dark
"Each Small Candle" is a song by Roger Waters. It was released on his album In the Flesh – Live in 2000.^[1] Most of the lyrics were inspired by a news story from the Kosovo war of a Serbian soldier who saw a wounded Albanian woman, left his ranks and helped her.
It also includes a stanza translated from Danish poet Halfdan Rasmussen's work Ikke Bødlen^{[citation needed]} (and is, thus, credited as "Waters/Rasmussen"enerosity has always been a class act around here, thank you very much for the sleeve. A couple of favs by Peter Gabriel, another wordsmith I enjoy.

twinponds169
2,910 Posts

Mon, Sep 11 2017 9:18 AM

Family Snapshot

The streets are lined with camera crews
Everywhere he goes is news
Today is different
Today is not the same
Today I make the action
Take snapshot into the light, snapshot into the light
I'm shooting into the light
Four miles down the cavalcade moves on
Driving into the sun
If I worked it out right
They won't see me or the gun
Two miles to go, they're clearing the road
The cheering has really begun
I've got my radio
I can hear what's going on
I've been waiting for this
I have been waiting for this
All you people in TV land
I will wake up your empty shells
Peak-time viewing blown in a flash
As I burn into your memory cells
'cause I'm alive
They're coming 'round the corner with the bikers at the front
I'm wiping the sweat from my eyes
It's a matter of time
It's a matter of will
And the governor's car is not far behind
He's not the one I've got in mind
'cause there he is-the man of the hour, standing in the limousine
"I don't really hate you
I don't care what you do
We were made for each other
Me and you
I want to be somebody
You were like that too
If you don't get given you learn to take
And I will take you."
Holding my breath
Release the catch
And I let the bullet fly
All turned quiet I have been here before
Lonely boy hiding behind the front door
Friends have all gone home
There's my toy gun on the floor
Come back Mum and Dad
You're growing apart
You know that I'm growing up sad
I need some attention
I shoot into the light

twinponds169
2,910 Posts

Mon, Sep 11 2017 9:18 AM

The Family and the Fishing Net

Suffocated by mirrors, stained by dreams
Her honey belly pulls the seams
Curves are stiff upon the hinge
Pale zeros tinge the tiger skin
Moist as grass, ripe and heavy as the night
The sponge is full, well out of sight
All around the conversations
Icing on the warm flesh cake
Light creeps through her secret tunnels
Sucked into the open spaces
Burning out in sudden flashes
Draining blood from well-fed faces
Desires form in subtle whispers
Flex the muscles in denial
Up and down its pristine cage
So the music, so the trial
Vows of sacrifice, headless chickens
Dance in circles, they the blessed
Man and wife, undressed by all
Their grafted trunks in heat possessed
Even as the soft skins tingle
They mingle with the homeless mother
Who loves the day but lives another
That once was hers
The worried father, long lost lover
Brushes ashes with his broom
Rehearses jokes to fly and hover
Bursting over the bride and groom
And the talk goes on
Memories crash on tireless waves
The lifeguards whom the winter saves
Silence falls the guillotine
All the doors are shut
Nervous hands grip tight the knife
In the darkness, till the cake is cut
Passed around, in little pieces
The body and the flesh
The family and the fishing-net
And another in the mesh
The body and the flesh

WGT POETRY , QUOTES , MOMENTS , & MORE U11285200_20221027_214949.jpg?0.158

twinponds169 [United States]
[WGT Nation]

twinponds169
2,913 Posts
Sun, Jul 12 2015 6:22 AM

On the 12th day of Christmas WGT Lords gave to me

12 drivers driving

11 skypers skyping

10 mods asleeping

9 green dots dancing

8 multi's bilking

7 Nike's swimming

6 geezers playing

5 FOCUS DINGS

4 falling birdies

3 meter bends

2 virtual bugs

and a view from the parking lot tees .

This guy is a complete ass wipe . He has hated on me for a decade . Insulting , degrading , falsely accusing , discrediting to the extremes .

I reluctantly posted his fine works here . Because as usual my fair minded demeanor over rules my senses .

by **Paul** Sat 05 Nov 2022, 7:59 am

WGT POETRY , QUOTES , MOMENTS , & MORE U1349231_20160413_103037.png?0.158

WGT POETRY , QUOTES , MOMENTS , & MORE DEU.gif?0.158

MainzMan
9,585 Posts

Tue, Sep 12 2017 11:22 AM

Ode to Andy

The day has come, time's almost up, I'm gonna go cliff jumpin'.
What am I doing? Am I mad? I could be in bed humpin'.
We reach the place, my stomach jumps, what the hell was I thinkin'?
I should know better, never make bets, after hours and hours of drinkin'.
After 10 of beer, 6 of gin and several bottles of Rioja.
I'm Superman, I'm made of iron, knocked out some pissed punk rocka.
But now it's morning, my head's on fire, my stomach won't stop churnin'.
I feel like hell, should be asleep and why's my a$$hole burnin'?
And now it's time, I'm getting changed, too late to change my mind.
Walk to the cliff, take a peek and wish that I were blind.
And now I'm fallin', just jumped right off, Christ, I must be mad.
Falling, falling, like a stone, hey, this ain't so bad.
I'm a bird, I'm a plane, as through the air I hurtle.
Look down, what's that? OH FUKK! A FUKKIN' TURTLE!!!!

by **Paul** Sat 05 Nov 2022, 8:01 am

craigswan
26,318 Posts Tue, Sep 12 2017 1:31 PM
Glad to have you back .
These forums need you
Back in september a Christmas wish I made.
A brand new set of golf clubs before next year I played.
Then on Christmas morn, with my eyes I spied
An oblong box under the tree, with ribbon wrapped and tied..
I'd like to thank you for these clubs, I wasn't sure that I would get.
He said your welcome son, but Christmas isn't over yet
I kept my head nice and still checked my stance and grip.
"Nice shot" said the bearded one, it's hanging on the lip.
adaputter
1,954 Posts Wed, Sep 13 2017 3:11 PM
when i was a young lad, about 7 or 8 i think
my dad took me shopping we went in all the stores ,last shop was the butchers
my dad said any bones for the dog
i shouts up YIPEE we are getting a dog
spa75
256 Posts Wed, Sep 13 2017 11:38 PM
hello all,
Some come here to talk to mates,
Some come here to contemplate,
Some come here to write on theese walls,
But i come here to smash golf balls,
spa75
phred952
2,714 Posts Thu, Sep 14 2017 7:55 AM

adaputter:

when i was a young lad, about 7 or 8 i think
my dad took me shopping we went in all the stores ,last shop was the butchers
my dad said any bones for the dog
i shouts up YIPEE we are getting a dog

I had dog once. It was kind of stringy.
duda51
1,007 Posts Thu, Sep 14 2017 8:26 AM
I looked in the mirror and what did i see
But a stranger looking back at me.
I asked that stranger who was he
The stranger replied that he is me.
I said how is that as I am I
He said you and I forever and ever.

by **Paul** Sat 05 Nov 2022, 8:04 am

t

WGT POETRY , QUOTES , MOMENTS , & MORE U8031635_20210927_195046.jpg?0.158

Aidansnell
147 Posts

Tue, Jun 25 2019 12:53 PM

How futile every hope is, that we have,

How illusory all our designs,

And how crammed this world with ignorance,

We learn from our master–the Grave.
Lorenzo the Magnificent (1449-1492)
seems like a good poem for software developers.

by **Paul** Sat 05 Nov 2022, 8:06 am

1

WGT POETRY , QUOTES , MOMENTS , & MORE U1544357_20221026_074530.jpg?0.158

craigswan
26,318 Posts

Sat, Jan 28 2017 7:39 AM

Could not let rabbie burns night go past without a poem .

Ode Tae a Fart
Oh what a sleekit horrible beastie
Lurks in your belly efter the feastie
Just as ye sit doon among yer kin
There sterts to stir an enormous wind
The neeps and tatties and mushy peas
Stert workin like a gentle breeze
But soon the puddin wi the sauncie face
Will have ye blawin all ower the place
Nae matter whit the hell ye dae
A’body’s gonnae hiv tae pay
Even if ye try tae stifle
It’s like a bullet oot a rifle
Hawd yer bum tight tae the chair
Tae try and stop the leakin air
Shifty yersel fae cheek tae cheek
Prae tae God it doesnae reek
But aw yer efforts go assunder
Oot it comes like a clap o thunder
Ricochets aroon the room
Michty me a sonic boom
God almighty it fairly reeks
Hope I huvnae sh it my breeks
Tae the bog I better scurry
Aw whit the hell it’s no ma worry
A’body roon aboot me chokin
Wan or two are nearly bokin
I’ll feel better for a while
Cannae help but raise a smile
Wiz him! I shout with accusin glower
Alas too late, he’s just keeled ower
Ye dirty bugger they shout and stare
A dinnae feel welcome any mair
Where e’ere ye go let yer wind gan’ free
Sounds like just the job fur me
Whit a fuss at rabbie’s party
Ower the sake o one wee farty

by **Paul** Sat 05 Nov 2022, 8:08 am

gonfission
2,041 Posts Tue, Jan 24 2017 9:06 PM

ct690911:
would one be obliged to officially object to the opaqueness of the object being observed?

Perhaps pleasant pontification, performed pleasingly, probably prevails persistently.

Putting purification protocols placed precariously, & painstakingly in a pavilion, protected by a pastor, with a penchant for patient predilection, of precocious precognition, will prohibit propagation.
Peculiarities of portions presently pondered, perpetuate preconceptions of previous presumptions. Primafacie plagiarism, or piracy of personal and or professional penning's, precedes a proclivity to procrastination.
Just sayin
pdb1
23,797 Posts Wed, Jan 25 2017 3:45 AM

ct690911:
If obfuscation obligates one to obliviously overlook ominous omens observed only during a once objective observation, would one be obliged to officially object to the opaqueness of the object being observed?

Only if the malafagastic temperature of the horizon . Was to calorisize the impurient indentations of the hemispherical analogy . Therefore the borax carbustus would become surcharged with infinistals and be deprived of its fissural disquisitions .
ct690911
6,883 Posts Wed, Jan 25 2017 4:55 AM
@Joe and Paul
Thanks for clearing that up..
ct

by **Paul** Sat 05 Nov 2022, 8:15 am

SweetiePie
4,925 Posts Thu, Mar 17 2011 9:58 AM
There once was this man McSweeny, who spilled some Gin on his weenie, just to be couth he added vermouth then slipped his girfriend a Martini
There was this lady from Brewster, whose ass was so fine that I goosed her, but her panties were thin and my fingers slipped in, now my fingers don't smell like they used to.
There was this man from Bonair, who was doing his wife on the stair, but the banister broke so he doubled his stroke, and finished her off in mid-air.
Happy St. Patricks Day to All
~SP~
Doublemochaman
2,009 Posts Thu, Mar 17 2011 10:36 AM
There once was a girl from Santa Clarita, I tried to buy her a burrita... she said "buy me a beer"... i said "Good cheer"... and she spilled the brew on her feeta.
hpurey
11,505 Posts Thu, Mar 17 2011 10:44 AM
There once was a man from Nantuckit. Who's **** was so long he could.....well you get the picture lol.
SweetiePie
4,925 Posts Thu, Mar 17 2011 11:27 AM
There was this man O'Doole who had little red spots on his tool, his Doctor a cynic said get out of my clinic and wipe off that lipstick you fool.
SweetiePie
4,925 Posts Thu, Mar 17 2011 1:39 PM
There once was a farm lad named Durkin who couldn't quit jerkin his gerkin, his Father said Durkin quit jurkin your gerkin your gerkin's for furkin not jerkin.
dchallenger
545 Posts Thu, Mar 17 2011 2:26 PM
A near-sighted golfer named 'Lear' was sent to the clink for a year,
for an action obscene, near the 17th green,
where a sign read, "ENTER COURSE HERE"

Once, there was a man called 'Dave' who kept a dead whore in a cave.
"I'm a bit of a shiit, I must admit, but think of the money I saved!"

And, of course, there's this fellow from Kent, whose dick, in the middle, was bent.
To avoid some trouble, he folded it double,
and instead of coming, He went!
dchallenger
545 Posts Thu, Mar 17 2011 2:39 PM
Sorry, one more I just came up with:

In a close MPC with Peter, He thought; "I think I can beat her".
Two feet from the pin, easy 'win' if it's in,
But suddenly, was raped by the meter!
SweetiePie
4,925 Posts Thu, Mar 17 2011 2:49 PM
Gotta Love it! More, I hope.
SweetiePie
4,925 Posts Thu, Mar 17 2011 7:01 PM
There once was this fellow named Larry, whose crotch was ever so hairy, he deceided to trim it, but went past the limit, now the fellows all call him Mary.
Yappy22
733 Posts Thu, Mar 17 2011 8:09 PM
SM was a man of means. Who cooked up a big pot of beans When Lizzie said No, He let them all go,down he drain with his hopes and dreams.

by **Paul** Sat 05 Nov 2022, 8:27 am

WGT POETRY , QUOTES , MOMENTS , & MORE U23855302_20220412_142806.jpg?0.158

SamSpayed [United States]
[WGT Nation]

SamSpayed
4,318 Posts
Tue, Dec 28 2021 1:02 PM
`
Now, now, children, please be nice!
If I could give you some advice,
I'd say check out Mizuno's 3
It's always worked quite well for me

Forgiveness on it's 5.5
Which means your ball should still arrive
On most Par 5s at center green -
The most forgiving wood I've seen

It's also High trajectory
For clearing obstacles you see
Like greenside bunkers, fairway bumps,
And Par 3 greens with slopes and humps

If this sounds good to you, I'd say
Go try it out next Rental Day
I think you'll find it's worth a shot
To see if it works for you or not

by **Paul** Sat 05 Nov 2022, 8:33 am

johnnylaptop wrote:WGT controls the out come of the game and all the shots.

sdorr
Silly little johnnylaptop does not have a clue, VEM in the background always watching you. Down with the club swing, away goes the ball, silly little johnnylaptop losing it all.

Big cry baby, so I wrote you a "poem". Hope you feel better, and I hope that the cheese I ordered for you arrives soon, that goes with your, never mind.

Have a nice day!

by **Paul** Sat 05 Nov 2022, 8:45 am

1

WGT POETRY , QUOTES , MOMENTS , & MORE U3363065_20180528_130926.jpg?0.158

josephk2317
873 Posts

Fri, Mar 7 2014 9:49 PM

1

WGT POETRY , QUOTES , MOMENTS , & MORE 396_Apilot_sprayeronpaper

by **Paul** Sat 05 Nov 2022, 9:44 am

txzdave
1,316 Posts Fri, Jan 26 2018 1:14 AM
Deena draws Us in
   Fission would not deny this
   No videos please
~ ~
gonfission
2,041 Posts Fri, Jan 26 2018 6:32 AM
universal path
truth txzdave is king
I'm swimming the pond
drmoose
3,507 Posts Fri, Jan 26 2018 7:13 AM
I asked you not to
you made me go poetic
gol durn, gnome sayin' ?

Doc
overtheedge
5,878 Posts Fri, Jan 26 2018 7:37 AM
Papa tomato, mama tomato and little tomato go for a walk.
Little tomato starts to fall behind.
Papa tomato says, Ketchup.
TopShelf2010
10,603 Posts Fri, Jan 26 2018 10:40 AM
.
SidersBest
873 Posts Fri, Jan 26 2018 11:41 AM
I was just looking at my wife's Avon Book and Avon says they have the best Haiku.
They said don't take their word for it " You can Rub and Sniff" and get the experience of a lifetime
Siders Best
overtheedge
5,878 Posts Fri, Jan 26 2018 2:17 PM

TopShelf2010:

What a waste of time... Figuring out a haiku.... My apologies... Don

Correction;
What a waste of time
Figuring out a haiku.
My apologies
Retort;
Agree
Not difficult
No apology needed
WGTChampion
1,823 Posts Fri, Jan 26 2018 2:50 PM
Syllables are hard
Here are about seven more
Now it's five again

Nailed it.
_CHAMPION
gonfission
2,041 Posts Fri, Jan 26 2018 3:10 PM
Those who can not, teach
You do and teach together
Schools out for the day
________________________

WGT POETRY , QUOTES , MOMENTS , & MORE U14146612_20221028_132332.jpg?0.158

WGTChampion [United States]

WGTChampion
1,823 Posts
Fri, Jan 26 2018 3:14 PM

Oh man that photo
It makes me really upset
looks super painful

_CHAMPION

mkg335
5,491 Posts Fri, Jan 26 2018 4:02 PM
Nature's irony
Geese honk but don't drive autos
Honkies eat roadkill
gonfission
2,041 Posts Fri, Jan 26 2018 4:58 PM
Okay, I nominate that one ^^^ right there, and now, for the best so far. If for nothing else, for the clever use of, ipso facto terminology,
Effin EH!!
I miss the 70's, and being called the "H" word. Snowflake just ain't jive enough
------------------<*{{{{{-(
Edit:
@ Champion
Handle a nail gun long enough, and we all get one, somewhere. I got it right through the palm of my left hand, last summer.
Put a paper towel, and some duct tape on it, after I pulled it out, and I was good to go.
Have to get them out as quick as they went in.
Didn't mean to shiver your timbers, Champ
--------------------<*{{{{{-(
overtheedge
5,878 Posts Sat, Jan 27 2018 5:01 AM
I do not think so
Delusions of grandeur hmm
Is tomorrow another day

Re-nailed it!
_OVERTHEEDGE

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overtheedge
5,878 Posts

Sat, Jan 27 2018 7:59 AM

Chuck roast not woodchuck
Charcoal Briquette barbecue
Eggplant is a fruit

overtheedge
5,878 Posts

Sat, Jan 27 2018 1:50 PM

mkg335:
The best ones paint a picture.

Dinner ---->

overtheedge:

Chuck roast not woodchuck
Charcoal Briquette barbecue
Eggplant is a vegetable
drmoose
3,507 Posts Sat, Jan 27 2018 3:01 PM
Though many have searched,
Chambers Bay hides its' secrets.
Come, for it is time.
Doc
Yep, ya caught me , lol, fish..
gonfission
2,041 Posts Sat, Jan 27 2018 3:10 PM
you almost had it
1 toke over the line Doc
gone home railway line

txzdave
1,316 Posts Sun, Jan 28 2018 12:22 AM
   As We learn of Us.....
   The community We are......
   Do new voices hear?

I have horded words
Spewed more than a few fore shore
Weave all four a sleeve.
~txzdave~
txzdave
1,316 Posts Sun, Jan 28 2018 12:34 AM
To take it further
If You, with less than 10 posts........
   Post your Haiku........Sleeved.
~    ~
(10 total posts here)
(Here on the forum circus)
(You must excuse Us)

   "Those before Us and after Laughter Cat Dave"
How's that? I dig You all.
I'ma take a Cat nap.    ~txzdayandlatenightdave~
pmm711
5,131 Posts Sun, Jan 28 2018 10:15 PM
Hippie rolled a joint
Joint lasted longer than norm
NORML started then
Dougie4042
4,396 Posts Mon, Jan 29 2018 3:38 AM
Don't like poetry
Playing WGT instead
You like them apples?

Man, that's whack. :/
overtheedge
5,878 Posts Sat, Feb 3 2018 6:33 AM

txzdave:

Deena draws Us in
Fission would not deny this
No videos please
~ ~

Why did we give up
Who the hell knows why we did
It is just that way

1 syllable word haiku,,,,as shlappy would say, NAAAAAILED IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
txzdave
1,316 Posts Sun, Feb 4 2018 1:24 AM
double you gee tee
letters are not syllables
unless they are......C?
~silenthyme~

overtheedge
5,878 Posts

Tue, Feb 6 2018 7:48 AM

I was waiting for shlappy to reply,,,,but you'll do.
pmm711
5,131 Posts Fri, Aug 26 2022 11:23 AM
Found it. Even WGTChampion partook. Thanks txzdave (wherever you are)...
I will restart it
We'll see where it will end up
Only time will tell
&
Play life together
Trust faith and putt your ball true
The hole will widen
SamSpayed
4,318 Posts Fri, Aug 26 2022 11:42 AM
watching my approach
hit the pin and bounce away
wish I'd pulled it now

pmm711
5,131 Posts Fri, Aug 26 2022 11:58 AM

SamSpayed:

watching my approach
hit the pin and bounce away
wish I'd pulled it now

Wow...I feel your pain
Must be mindful to pull it
but hole is bestest
HamdenPro
1,846 Posts Fri, Aug 26 2022 1:17 PM

SamSpayed:

watching my approach
hit the pin and bounce away
wish I'd pulled it now

Easy shot to make
A failure to pull the pin
Oh, stupid mistake
gonfission
2,041 Posts Fri, Aug 26 2022 10:03 PM
What is a Haiku
I don't know so I'll ask you
Please tell me who's who
---------------------------------------<*{{{{{-(
pmm711
5,131 Posts Fri, Aug 26 2022 11:16 PM

SamSpayed:

watching my approach
hit the pin and bounce away
wish I'd pulled it now

Drop it didn't do
The damn pin got in the way
Cuz Sam forgot to
HamdenPro
1,846 Posts Sat, Aug 27 2022 12:03 PM

I did try my best
To halt all of the unrest
Oh, what fool am I
pmm711
5,131 Posts Sat, Aug 27 2022 1:34 PM
^^^^
Thoreau wrote about Civil Disobedience…it’s rampant…running amuck. No need to try to rein it in. The bull has been in the china shop for quite some time now. Though I love the valiant effort!
HamdenPro
1,846 Posts Sat, Aug 27 2022 10:20 PM
pmm711:
Though I love the valiant effort!
Thank you Paul,. In appreciation, I wrote this for you : )

PMM did say
"I love the forums alot
I enjoy them much"

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HamdenPro
1,846 Posts

Wed, Aug 31 2022 7:35 AM

WGT POETRY , QUOTES , MOMENTS , & MORE 0hgabh10

WGT POETRY , QUOTES , MOMENTS , & MORE U2908460_20220310_012840.jpg?0.158

pmm711
5,131 Posts

Wed, Aug 31 2022 8:48 AM

Another release
Please get the issues to cease
Nope, issues increase

Last edited by Paul on Sun 6 Nov - 23:06; edited 1 time in total

TopShelf2010
10,603 Posts Wed, Aug 31 2022 9:40 AM

pmm711:

Another release
Please get the issues to cease
Nope, issues increase

EPIC !
Hall of Fame worthy !!
pmm711
5,131 Posts Wed, Sep 21 2022 2:58 AM
Survived a fire
Thank God I didn’t expire
My wife I desire
HamdenPro
1,846 Posts Thu, Sep 22 2022 12:35 PM

pmm711:

Survived a fire
Thank God I didn’t expire
My wife I desire

Your house is all gone.
You survived to tell the tale.
That is what counts most.
PureGro1
1,334 Posts Thu, Sep 22 2022 12:53 PM
I'll write a haiku
about weed and such things as this.
Mary Jane said so.

pmm711
5,131 Posts

Sat, Sep 24 2022 2:26 AM

PureGro1:

I'll write a haiku
about weed and such things as this.
Mary Jane said so.

EDIT: Thanks, Joe

WGT POETRY , QUOTES , MOMENTS , & MORE 1f602.png?v=2.2

Pure Gro One Thanks Joe
But still needs to work line two
Mary Jane too good

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drmoose
3,507 Posts

Sat, Sep 24 2022 1:22 PM

Going poetic
World golf tour's again quite sick
Need to fix it quick

Doc WGT POETRY , QUOTES , MOMENTS , & MORE Icon_smile

by **Paul** Sat 05 Nov 2022, 10:12 am

HamdenPro
1,846 Posts

Wed, Oct 5 2022 7:27 AM

WGT POETRY , QUOTES , MOMENTS , & MORE Hp_hai11

by **Paul** Sat 05 Nov 2022, 10:23 am

drmoose:
Doc

{{{ Just between you and I , We here at NMS.lol know his little Trick .
He digs in the sand box till he finds some candy bars from the Kat ,
[ Putts 3 of them ]
in a paper bag , then paces them at the door to the ClubHouse , Lights them on fire ,
( even knowing he is not aloud to play with matches ) ,
And then runs up a tree , We let him have his fun ready to put the fire out ,
We have side bets here at the NMS office on his Cycles and when he will show up .
The winner gets a free drink from the Beer cart . }}}}}}

by **Paul** Sat 05 Nov 2022, 10:25 am

From the desk of NMSopizzaicon ,
Sorry for the down time , We did a upgrade from AOL dial up .
The short bus has a flat tire , so it might be running late .
Please do not eat the new crayons the bus driver gives you .
Make sure your Mommy packs your lunch .
As to the updates :
other than that AOL dial up ,, A New format is in the works for a all up in Beta for a new game .
WGTfishing , The Idea is to make a friend on the bus and play Tic Tak Toe to keep your mind off the ride .
NMSopizzaicon

by **Paul** Sat 05 Nov 2022, 11:01 am

WGT POETRY , QUOTES , MOMENTS , & MORE U1829257_20160610_212131.jpg?0.158

PhiEaglesFan
617 Posts

Fri, Feb 19 2016 7:34 PM

I hole-hardedly agree, but allow me to play doubles advocate here for a moment. For all intensive purposes I think you are wrong. In an age where false morals are a diamond dozen, true virtues are a blessing in the skies. We often put our false morality on a petal stool like a bunch of pre-Madonnas, but you all seem to be taking something very valuable for granite. So I ask of you to mustard up all the strength you can because it is a doggy dog world out there. Although there is some merit to what you are saying it seems like you have a huge ship on your shoulder. In your argument you seem to throw everything in but the kids Nsync, and even though you are having a feel day with this I am here to bring you back into reality. I have a sick sense when it comes to these types of things. It is almost spooky, because I cannot turn a blonde eye to these glaring flaws in your rhetoric. I have zero taller ants when it comes to people spouting out hate in the name of moral righteousness. You just need to remember what comes around is all around, and when supply and command fails you will be the first to go. Make my words, when you get down to brass stacks it doesn't take rocket appliances to get two birds stoned at once. It's clear who makes the pants in this relationship, and sometimes you just have to swallow your prize and accept the facts. You might have to come to this conclusion through denial and error but I swear on my mother's mating name that when you put the petal to the medal you will pass with flying carpets like it’s a peach of cake

WGT POETRY , QUOTES , MOMENTS , & MORE Ducati11

Ducati916:
Wow...this all took a turd for the nurse. We've got people bashing people and choosing sides to go with their Maine course. . Some of our most steemed players are now lobbing Zingers at each other like Hostess never went out of business. And poor old PEF....all he did was steel someones dissertation on quantum fish sticks, but, since he didn't confess, that like Al Gore, he didn't actually invent the internet, now he's being treated like some kind of Mariah Carey. We have AlsoSlow trying to step into a Slim Jim and Paul907kilosinaUSton and others trying to keep the Petes and get people to just moo valong.

by **Paul** Sat 05 Nov 2022, 11:43 am

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WGT POETRY , QUOTES , MOMENTS , & MORE IRL.gif?0.158

gerrylangan
65 Posts

Thu, Mar 6 2014 1:52 AM

Dave Feherty
>
> CBS GOLF ANNOUNCER
>
> He said one day, "It would be easier to pick a broken nose, than a
> winner in that group."
>
> Feherty is a CBS and Golf Channel announcer, who finds very unique,
> colourful and uninhibited ways of explaining or describing whatever is
> on his mind ... (probably always on time delay these days).
>
> Feherty Quotes:
>
> "Fortunately, Rory is 22 years old so his right wrist should be the
> strongest muscle in his body."
>
> "That ball is so far left, Lassie couldn't find it if it was wrapped in bacon."
>
> " I am sorry Nick Faldo couldn't be here this week.
> He is attending the birth of his next wife."
>
> Jim Furyk's swing "looks like an octopus falling out of a tree."
>
> Describing VJ Singh's prodigious practice regime -
> "VJ hits more balls than Elton John's chin."
> (Thought I was going to hurt myself laughing at this one.)
>
> "That's a great shot with that swing."
>
> "It's OK - the bunker stopped it."
>
> At Augusta 2011 - "It's just a glorious day.
> The only way to ruin a day like this would be to play golf on it."
>
> "That was a great shot - if they'd have put the pin there today."
>
> "Watching Phil Mickelson play golf is like watching a drunk chasing a
> balloon near the edge of a cliff."
>
> "That green appears smaller than a Pygmie's nipple".
>
> Forward this to any golfers with a sense of humor.
>

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mara43
1,674 Posts

Thu, Mar 6 2014 5:34 AM

some like him, some don't but I find him amusing......lightens up the game a bit....

DAVID FEHERTY QUOTES

On the chilly air: “I’m freezing my nads off. It’s snot-blindingly cold. There are two lumps in my throat, and I think it’s my raisins.”
On Nick Faldo: “The only time he opens his mouth is to change feet.”
On losing weight: “I lost 150lb if you include my wife.”
On Crooked Stick: “It is so long it’s the first time I’ve had to take into account the curvature of the earth.”
On John Daly’s haircut: “Worst haircut I’ve ever seen in my life. It looks like he has a divot over each ear.”
On Daly at St Andrews: “There are five courses here. He must hit one of them.”
my favourite quote:
On Colin Montgomerie: “He’s got a face like a warthog who’s just been stung by a wasp.”
On his drinking: “It got to be like a video game, where you get to the highest level and it’s not even a challenge.”
On his swing on a bad day: “It was like a privy door on a prawn trawler in the middle of the Atlantic.”
On Jack Nicklaus courses: “They are like hot air dryers in public lavatories. They are a good idea, but take too long.”
On Tiger’s flatulence: “He can lay ‘em down like a crop duster.”
On Phil Mickelson: “Phil is brilliant, but he’s nuts. There’s something not quite right about that boy. Phil is watching a movie that only Phil can see.”
On one of Tiger’s shots: “Never has my flabber been so completely gasted.”
:-)

royphillips1
1,278 Posts

Fri, Mar 7 2014 12:26 PM

[list]
[*]My Favourite David Feherty Descriptive Comment was about the Speed of a Putt
(Quote) This Putt will be Faster than Hot Snot of a Hard Crumbed Hankie

[*]

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borntobesting
9,447 Posts

Sat, Mar 8 2014 12:52 AM

I don't remember exactly how long ago it was but David Feherty and Gary McCord did some very funny stuff for EA Sports on a couple of the Tiger Woods PGA Tour CD games.

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THEWIPERS
96 Posts

Wed, Apr 23 2014 9:36 AM

Old Clinton joke.What does Monica Lewinskey have in common with Lucille Ball?A:They have both had a little Cuban in them.
[

by **Paul** Sat 05 Nov 2022, 11:48 am

craigswan
26,323 Posts

Mon, Dec 7 2020 3:32 AM

RIP Peter .

'He's gone ga-ga' - Alliss' most memorable quotes

"What on earth are you doing? He's gone ga-ga. To attempt to hit the ball out of there is pure madness." - his iconic description of Frenchman Jean van de Velde throwing away a three-shot lead on the final hole of the 1999 Open Championship at Carnoustie.
"It's like turning up to hear Pavarotti sing and finding out he has laryngitis." - reflecting on Tiger Woods shooting a third-round 81 at the 2002 Open.
"Looks a bit like Jurassic Park in there." - describing the rough on the 14th at Royal St George's, which hosted the 2003 Open.
"One of the good things about rain in Scotland is that most of it ends up as scotch." - on poor weather conditions during a tournament in Scotland.

by **Paul** Sun 06 Nov 2022, 9:49 am

WGT POETRY , QUOTES , MOMENTS , & MORE USA.gif?0.143

opyeuclid
6,486 Posts

Fri, Dec 6 2013 9:46 AM

Twas almost the Night before the 12 days of Christmas Giveaway .
All the Country Clubs were ready, The gifts from the Pro shop were all under the tree And almost all the days were full . MrCaddie was burned out from all the silly PM,s and working so hard . He sat down in his chair and drifted off to sleep .
Thats when all hell broke loose ,
The Santas little helpers jimmyed the lock on the bar and started to drink all the good stuff ,They then hooked up the TV to the computer and started to download Elf porn .
A few of the Santas helpers drank too much then Tossed up Christmas cookies on the floor And one passed out with his head in the toilet .
Santas little helpers then found MrCaddies car key,s and went out on the town in a rampage ,They took turns driving to see who could run down the most mail boxes and do the best yard turfing .
After a bit of that they set his car on fire and pushed it into the lake at the Kiawah island course on hole # 17 .
As the Santas little helpers were stumbling back to MrCaddies house they saw that the WGT Police were knocking on his door and they all ran to the bushes to hide .
The WGT police Icon & Shoe could see all the empty bottles on the porch and in the yard and more in the house on the floor throu the window .
MrCaddie woke from his sleep and said to him self , Self just who the .... is at my door at this time of night ,
He got up from the chair but did not see that the helpers had taken his pants , He opened the door yelling " Just who the .... do you think you are .
The WGT police Icon & Shoe saw this man at the door with nothing on but his Tee shirt and could see that there was Elf porn on the TV . The Police did not ask but just clocked MrCaddie with a night stick and put him back to sleep .
MrCaddie woke up in a WGT jail cell with a very large man , That man then told him , Son your name is now Betty and you are now my Btch .
A few days latter Santas little helpers all got together and took some of the gifts to the pawn shop and used that money to pay MrCaddies bail .
When MrCaddie got out he went home in his orange jump suit to find the place trashed and his car was gone , He then said to him self ,, Self you know who did this , them little Bstards , I will get each and every one of you even if it takes me till Christmas in July .
The End

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opyeuclid
6,667 Posts

Sat, Sep 24 2022 8:32 PM

I was sitting on a mushroom talking to a rainbow .
I asked what was at the other end as I could not see that far .
Rainbow re: d with this .
Said Unacorn with green eyes stopped by to say what matters .
A toad with a limp passed the way and said nothing .
I once more asked the rainbow what was at the other end .
A monkey smoking something offered me a hit telling of something .
Just about then a Window opened .
A cool brezz passed with no sound ,
The Rainbow asked me why do I care about what is at the other end ,
Is there a Pot O Gold for me to find at that end I said .
An elf from the past of the Christmas gone that once was told me to look and see if ?
Was there an " Hope " .
The twilight was was at soltice at mid time wit notin .
OPY
EDIT : who was the man in a jar ?

opyeuclid
6,667 Posts

Thu, Aug 25 2022 5:39 PM

Some place between the now and then we once were different yet the same in a way ,
The them of once have never left still yet as we know ,
Some place we look for what what we dont know ,
But still we " Drive " on and " Putt " ,
Just a game is what is was or is ,
From said time when I / you / we found WGT land it has been what it is ,
OPY

by **Paul** Sun 06 Nov 2022, 9:57 am

WGT POETRY , QUOTES , MOMENTS , & MORE U10094047_20211202_123409.jpg?0.158

garypinhunter
1,049 Posts

Thu, Dec 15 2016 9:07 AM

Here is a twist on the night before Christmas poem

The Night Before The Santa Give Away
‘Twas the night before Santa s give away, when all thro’ the house,
Not a WGT player was stirring, not even their mouse;
The clubs were all nestled in the bag with great care,
In hopes that MRCADDIE soon would be there;
The golf balls were snuggled secure in their sleeves,
While visions of birdies flew past the weeds,
And Mama in her ‘kerchief, and I in my golf cap,
Had just settled our PC down for a long winter’s nap-
When out on my I Pad there arose such a rash,
I sprang from the bed to see another Country Club Clash.
Away to my Laptop I flew like a drive,
Quickly turned on the power, in hopes I could thrive.
The moon on the breast of a new WGT day,
Gave the lustre of new irons a look my way;
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a message the server was busy that bought on a tear,
With a new message in the forums so lively and quick,
I knew in a moment it must be MRCaddie playing St. Nick.
More rapid than eagles his coursers they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and did not call them by name:
“Now! Ton Paul, now! TC, now! you, and you,
“On! wgt, on! wgt, on! Maintenance and Update;
“To the top of the forum you should Bump!
“Now post away! Post away! Post away all!”
As dry leaves before the wild hurricane fly,
When we meet with an obstacle, rant to the sky;
So up to the main forum the coursers they flew,
With the messages full of please give me this club or ball:
And then in a twinkling, I heard on the roof
The prancing and pawing of each little hoof.
As I drew in my head, and was turning around,
Down the gifts they came with a bound:
He was dress’d all in fur, from his head to his foot,
And his clothes were all tarnish’d with fescue and soot;
A bundle of clubs was flung on his back,
And he look’d like a caddie just opening his pack:
His eyes - how they twinkled! his dimples how merry,
His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry;
His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,
And the beard of his chin was as white as the snow;
The stump of a tee he held tight in his teeth,
And the grass it encircled his head like a wreath.
He had a broad face, and a little round belly
That shook when he laugh’d, like a bowl full of jelly:
He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf,
And I laugh’d when I saw him in spite of myself;
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head
Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread.
He spoke not a word, but went straight to my Ipad,
And fill’d all me with new clubs; I was so glad,
And laying his finger aside of his nose
And giving a nod, up the chimney he rose.
He sprung to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,
And away they all flew, like the down of a thistle:
But I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight-
Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good game.
By Garypinhunter

by **Paul** Sun 06 Nov 2022, 10:10 am

renniw52
5,385 Posts

Fri, Dec 9 2016 6:42 AM

I was in Wal Mart yesterday against my will. My bride of 46 years asked me to grab something for her. I saw a young mother yanking a 5-6 year old boy around like a rag doll and screaming at him. He had a .99 cent hot wheel car in his hand and she was screaming. Put that back"" I told you no Christmas this year your father left us and we have no money. My first thought was if you have no money then why the hell are you in Wal Mart. She was holding make up and hair spray. I approached and said excuse me may I buy that toy for your son. She asked me why the &@#% would I do that. I told her I like hot wheels too and he had one of my favorites. I don't have any toy cars by the way. I told the little boy to pick out 4 more that he liked.
Just the look on his face will be a priceless memory for me. Over the last year and a half I have taken all the mirrors off the walls in my house. I didn't want to see how poor I had become. This little boy, in his situation has a very good chance of becoming one you will hear about on the news one day, and it won't be good news. I only pray that those little five cars will keep him out of trouble a little longer.
I remember the little things in life that guided me. I also agree with Wayne, a lot of time and effort and money went into the 12 days of Christmas. Shame on the vermon that preyed on this occasion and best wishes to the ones who were grateful for receiving even a 200 credit sleeve of balls.
Squirrel Nutz

MainzMan
9,585 Posts

Fri, Dec 9 2016 6:51 AM

[list]
[*]Damn Renni, you made me come over all Christmas Carol there.
Thanks for posting that, it really brings home how fortunate some of us are and shows how much random acts of kindness can change someone's life.
Hugs from Germany : )

[*]

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ct690911
6,885 Posts

Fri, Dec 9 2016 10:47 AM

" I approached and said excuse me may I buy that toy for your son. She asked me why the &@#% would I do that."
Good story Rich. TY for posting. The first part may explain why the old man bolted...the mother sounds like a "real catch"...that said, he picked her and shouldn't have abandoned the child.
The highlighted portion struck a chord. I had a cough and da missus nagged me to go to a clinic. While waiting, a young woman came in and she was in obvious distress. I have no idea why she didn't go str8 to emergency...but whatever.
She checked in and took her seat...probably 5 or 6 patients behind me in line. When my name was called, I asked the med clerk to give her my spot...her response to me was the exact same ^^^.
Seriously...all the empathy of a mop and she works in health care? See it all the time... people with no interest in kids working in a day care...no interest in animals, but working in animal shelters, etc.
Who the hell vets these people before hiring them?

[*]

renniw52
5,385 Posts

Fri, Dec 9 2016 11:05 AM

Exactly what I was thinking ct. A woman or who thinks they are that talk like that, I wouldn't last long either. One thing is for sure, she would not have my son. My guess is he was a piece of scum also. I just feel so sorry for that little boy. This woman had spent enough money on her tatoos to buy him presents for a long time. I remember when my 3 kids were that age. If they wanted a toy my wife and I would ask them why they deserve it. My daughter would say she got all A's on her last report card, toy bought. My oldest son would say I helped you in the yard all day Saturday. My youngest son would say because I'm your baby and I love you. Toys bought. My children have never been arrested nor have been in any trouble what so ever. Thank you Lord. May have had something to do with their parents always there for them. What has happened to this world? My 7 grand children are respectful, kind and loving. If I have nothing else to show for my life, I have that and that is all that matters.

[*]renniw52:
I just feel so sorry for that little boy.

And we are all part of our upbringing - this little kid is probably doomed, but not always. Some great people have come from poor upbringings - I have know a few pilots who were mistreated as a kid, but managed to right themselves before it was too late - in a couple of instances it was the Air Force that was that turning point.
They learned discipline from the forces, but sometimes can be something simple as an act of kindness.
Not long ago I met someone from my schooldays, I did not really know him, but he was a trouble maker at school and I think he got expelled.He was in school in Sydney and I heard he went back to WA.
It was a chance meeting and to be honest, could not really remember him well, but he was one I assumed would have been supported by the government in one form or another - either via prison or the dole or a mix.......
After school he was given a chance.....an apprenticeship as a builder. He now is pretty successful and said it was the early starts and discipline that got instilled in him. Apparently his family disowned him as a 16 yo - and got in trouble with the law. The judge said get a job in a month or you will go to a youth detention facility (Hillston Boys Farm). He got a job!
I think there are times when a young man (or girl) have choices and as parents we hope that we have given them the grounding to make a good choice.
For those who need guidance, as a society we can only help those who need guiding, but those young people will make their own choice. Hopefully these small things aid them in doing so.

[*]

renniw52
5,385 Posts

Tue, Mar 5 2013 2:19 PM

[*]While we are all being honest, let me share this with my friends. I got out of the shower this morning, my wife looked at me and said I Love You. I looked at myself and said why. She told me I kept my promise, she would never go hungry, and always have a warm bed to sleep in. We have raised 3 children, and have 7 grand children. We started out with absolutely nothing and have made it work. Has it been easy? Hell no. In retrospect, I could have done so much different. I am so FUBAR when it comes to retirement, but I don't care. She will never go hungry or not have a warm bed to sleep in. And I will always be there. What else is there?

[*]

renniw52
5,385 Posts

Sun, Apr 21 2013 10:03 AM

[*]Update on Let's Be Honest. 9 days after starting this, the company I worked for basically told me I was too old for them now. Handed me papers to sign with a non-compete clause and a form to sign where I would not sue them for age discrimination. Well all righty then. I was the catalyst of their industrial coatings division and they want me to sign a legal document saying I won't work for 2 years, in the field I have been in for over 30 years. I didn't get a kiss first, no fancy dinner, just bent over without any lube. Oh well, the rest of my life is the same at the moment, never say die, and learn to lo
ve the VEM.

I didn't sign anything, really has them on their toes at the moment. I have been approached by other companies, but I haven't committed to any so far. At my age, I want at least a 5 year contract, until I can retire. Unfortunately, I live in Georgia, which is a right to work state, an employer can let you go at any time, for any reason, with no recourse. It's the crazy paperwork they presented that has me shakin my head. Any ways, enough about my personal issues. Let's meet some new folks on here, people we know, but don't know. Looking forward to some new introductions.
Renni

[*]

renniw52
5,385 Posts

Thu, Dec 24 2015 8:07 AM

[*]
My gift to the WGT community.
My Holiday Fruit Cake Recipe.
1 cup of water, 1 cup of sugar, 4 brown eggs, 2 cups of dried fruit, 1 teaspoon of salt, 1 cup brown sugar, lemon juice. crushed nuts and a bottle of whiskey.
Sample the whiskey and check for quality.
Take a large bowl, check the whiskey again. Pour 1 cup of whiskey and drink. repeat. Take a mixer, beat one cup of butter in a large bowl. Add 1 tsp of sugar and beat again.
Recheck the whiskey for quality, cry another full tup. Turn off the mixer, beat 2 leggs and add to bowl, chick in the cup of dried fruit. Mix on the tuner, if the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers pry it loose with a drewscriver.
Sample the whiskey and check for tonsisticity. Next, sift 2 cups of salt or something, who gives a damn. Check the whiskey again, sift the lemon juice and strain your nuts.. Add 1 table and a spoon of sugar.
Grease the oven, turn the cake tin to 350. Don't forget to beat off the turners. Throw the bowl out the window and recheck the whiskey. If the cruit fake doesn't rise check the whiskey again and start over.This recipe doesn't always work the first time.
Happy Holidays To the entire WGT community
SquirrelNutz

by **Paul** Sun 06 Nov 2022, 10:44 am

WGT POETRY , QUOTES , MOMENTS , & MORE U9538525_20200520_063308.jpg?0.158

BroncoRod
411 Posts

Sat, Dec 12 2015 8:26 PM

BroncoRod
411 Posts
Sat, Dec 12 2015 8:26 PM

Twas the night before 12 days, and all through this site,

A group of saints, pulled together their might.

Mr. Caddie is Santa, and his efforts are huge,

Not a golfer in the land would call him a scrooge.

They planned and they schemed, as gathered their loot,

And prepared to share, the rewards of their fruit.

So hats off to you sir, and to all of your elves,

As you give so graciously, throughout the coming twelves!!.

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!

by **Paul** Sun 06 Nov 2022, 10:47 am

WGT POETRY , QUOTES , MOMENTS , & MORE U1996506_20220129_115706.jpg?0.158

YancyCan
3,023 Posts

Tue, Dec 15 2015 3:02 PM

Hello - My name is YancyClaus
The WGTAA Country Club is excited about this event and are looking forward to playing Santa on day #8 --- to help pump up this event we have a couple of videos that we would like to share!

by **Paul** Sun 06 Nov 2022, 10:53 am

WGT POETRY , QUOTES , MOMENTS , & MORE U4308044_20220118_195308.jpg?0.158

WGT POETRY , QUOTES , MOMENTS , & MORE ITA.gif?0.158

markone56
528 Posts

Sun, Dec 20 2015 1:00 PM

WGT POETRY , QUOTES , MOMENTS , & MORE Poems_10

Sincerely, I hope Santa Klaus will gift me a phone call with Mr. WGT
I would tell him something about last two years in WGT golf...
Best wishes folks!

by **Paul** Sun 06 Nov 2022, 11:23 am

WGT POETRY , QUOTES , MOMENTS , & MORE U1742669_20130723_122842.gif?0.158

MBaggese
15,356 Posts

Wed, Aug 14 2013 11:01 PM

So, uh...is this the thread where I come out of the closet?

by **Paul** Sun 06 Nov 2022, 4:43 pm

WGT POETRY , QUOTES , MOMENTS , & MORE U7054246_20190929_185536.jpg?0.158

KBishop5
922 Posts

Thu, Dec 24 2015 8:51 AM

On the First day of Christmas, WGT gave to me, a game that I can play with just me!

On the Second day of Christmas, WGT gave to me, a bag of clubs that would just confuse me!

On the Third day of Christmas, WGT gave to me, a frustrating and ever-ending journey!!

On the Fourth day of Christmas, WGT gave to me, a pitch close to the hole that excited my inter-most fun for Meee!

Now Hooked -- On the Fifth day of Christmas, WGT gave to me, a tour of the Best of Par 5, and the best in my game ...... Five BIRD-EEEE'ssss

On the Sixth day of Christmas, WGT gave to me, a look at the Brandon Par Three Course, and ..........SIX BOG----GIES!!!! and a look at Ki-A-WAAAA, a course that was meant for me and the back is Eaazzzyyyyy!

On the Seventh Day of Christmas, WGT gave to me, a way to get CREDITS and do a Survey.....

On the Eighth day of Christmas, WGT gave to me, a "replay" of a shot that did not go in....poor, poor me!

The player that I was playing in match play ....he laughed a lot at me and I was thinking of leaving WG ..... TEEEeeeeeeeee! But that is not me!

On the Ninth day of Christmas I joined a Country Club and found out PINHUNTERS will help MEEeeeee!!

On the Tenth day o Christmas, WGT gave to me, a club that really care, set up challenging tournament and at the end of the day, really helped me!

On the Eleventh day of Christmas my Leader said to me, work with me, we'll get you to legend, forget about the Boogeys and rest will be history!

On the Twelfth day of Christmas WGT gave to me, a great place to relive stress and partake in great comoraide!

On the morning of Christmas I hope that WGT would Gift to me a

Cleveland 588 60 Degree 80 yrd wedge RTX 2.0 !!!

Kevin

by **Paul** Sun 06 Nov 2022, 5:02 pm

WGT POETRY , QUOTES , MOMENTS , & MORE U990852_20150822_062718.jpg?0.77.5746

Bertasion

87 Posts

The other day upon the heather fair
I hit a flagstick that was not there.
I saw it's shadow and heard the clank
but where it stood was just a blank.
It was not there again today.
I wonder when it will come back and stay. Brian

by **Paul** Sun 06 Nov 2022, 5:08 pm

its just a ball
08 Feb
Oh, How Bland It Does Appear,

This Harmless Looking Little Sphere.
By Its Size I Could Not Guess,
The Awesome Strength It Does Possess,
But Since I Fell Beneath Its Spell,
I've Wandered Through The Fires Of Hell,
My Life Has Not Been Quite The Same,
Since I Chose To Play, This Stupid Game,
It Rules My Mind For Hours On End,
It Has Made Me Curse And Made Me Cry,
And Hate Myself And Want To Die,
It Promises Me A Thing Called Par,
If I Hit It Straight And Far,
To Master Such A Tiny Ball,
Should Not Be Very Hard At All,
But My Desires The Ball Refuses,
And Does Exactly As It Chooses,
It Hooks And Slices, Dribbles And Dies,
And Disappears Before My Eyes,
Often It Will Have A Whim,
To Hit A Tree Or Take A Swim,
With Miles Of Grass On Which To Land,
It Finds A Tiny Patch Of Sand,
Then Has Me Offering Up My Soul,
If Only It Would Find The Hole,
It's Made Me Whimper Like A Pup,
And Swear That I Will Give It Up,
And Take To Drink To Ease My Sorrow,
But The Ball Knows….I'll Be Back Tomorrow.

by **Paul** Sun 06 Nov 2022, 5:20 pm

pdb1:
Holy Jiminy XMas Batman !

WGT POETRY , QUOTES , MOMENTS , & MORE Opyeuc13

opyeuclid
3,988 Posts

Riddle me this Bat Man ,
Why is it that some of us play the game to win ?
And others play the game for Fun ?
What makes a Santa ?
And who are the winners ?
Are the winners the ones that Got / Gave a gift ?
Is Events like this a way for some of us to say Thank you ?

pdb1:

WGT POETRY , QUOTES , MOMENTS , & MORE Apdb116

pdb1
3,297 Posts
07-05-2015 9:15 PM
Dear Santa . Please just give the gift that just keeps giving to OPYEUCLID and other's like him . Who's gifts of generosity and spirit are far and above much more than the recipients receive themselves .

by **Paul** Sun 06 Nov 2022, 6:48 pm

Remember when Andy was like this ?

WGT POETRY , QUOTES , MOMENTS , & MORE U4528654_20180704_213923.JPG?0.158

9,041 Posts

Sun, Dec 16 2012 8:11 PM

I'd say it was, winning stuff and being part of the forums is FUN, another part of WGT to keep things interesting.
More is given out than is won, so just chill ?
Keep doing what you're doing and.......
Andy

by **Paul** Sun 06 Nov 2022, 6:59 pm

FRESH OFF THE TURNIP TRUCK

WGT POETRY , QUOTES , MOMENTS , & MORE Apdb1d29

pdb1
23,814 Posts

Sun, Dec 16 2012 10:19 PM

how do i know if im the first responder?

pdb1
23,814 Posts

Sun, Dec 16 2012 10:23 PM

by me typing do you know its me ?

------------------------------------------------------------

Unrelated

WGT POETRY , QUOTES , MOMENTS , & MORE U4981420_20120606_101059.png?0.158

WGTpizza
1,656 Posts

Wed, Sep 12 2012 3:24 PM

pdb1:
i need to post a question.how do you get the little + sign next to your name for friend invites?

Hello pdb1,
This question would be for a different section of the forums, Community Help. I'm locking this old thread, and I encourage you to post your question in the aforementioned section.

Stay classy,
-WGTpizza

by **Paul** Sun 06 Nov 2022, 7:00 pm

WGTpizza
1,656 Posts

Mon, Dec 17 2012 2:34 PM

Fun fact: I have been making my bosses aware of every single thread that is participating in this movement over these past few weeks. This movement has grown so large and so fast that I no longer make these threads visible to them - THERE ARE TOO MANY!
You can't click "Active Topics" these days without seeing a list of threads full of people spreading holiday cheer. I want to thank everyone who has participated in this contest, especially the contest creators Smile

Stay classy,
-WGTpizza

by **Paul** Sun 06 Nov 2022, 7:07 pm

craigswan
26,333 Posts

Sun, Feb 21 2016 5:39 AM

Thanks guys . Never one anything before .
Is this my 15 minutes of fame .

WGT POETRY , QUOTES , MOMENTS , & MORE Craig_12

WGT POETRY , QUOTES , MOMENTS , & MORE Craig_13

by **Paul** Sun 06 Nov 2022, 7:10 pm

craigswan
26,333 Posts

Sun, Feb 21 2016 6:01 AM

Renni doesn,t talk about it much but he was a bit of a hero during the first world war .
One day , desperate for water, he was plodding through the sahara desert when he saw something far off in the distance.
Hoping to find water, he hurried toward the oasis only to find a British soldier selling regimental ties.
He asked, "Do you have water?" The soldier replied, "There is no water, the well is dry. Would you like to buy a tie instead? They are only £5."
Renni shouted, "You idiot infidel! I do not need an over-priced tie. I need water! I should kill you, but I must find water first!"
"OK," said the soldier, "It does not matter that you do not want to buy a tie and that you hate me. I will show you that I am bigger than that, and that I am a much better human being than you. If you continue over that hill to the east for about two miles, you will find our Sergeant's Mess. It has all the ice cold water you need."
Cursing him, Ren staggered away over the hill.
Several hours later he staggered back, collapsed with dehydration & rasped...... "They won't let me in without a fu cking tie!"

renniw52
5,385 Posts

Sun, Feb 21 2016 4:37 PM

Never say die and leave no one behind.

by **Paul** Sun 06 Nov 2022, 7:20 pm

renniw52
5,385 Posts

Thu, Feb 18 2016 4:06 PM

I was on the course when the funeral passed by. I stopped mid swing and bowed my head. That was the least I could do after being married to her for almost 46 years.

MBaggese
15,356 Posts

Thu, Feb 18 2016 6:51 PM

renniw52:

I was on the course when the funeral passed by. I stopped mid swing and bowed my head. That was the least I could do after being married to her for almost 46 years.

So, we've a;; heard these types of Golf jokes...right?

I lived one.

Me a bud got to about the 12th or 13th hole, he wasn't feeling too chipper...he decided to to lie down just behind the tee box.

I say "John, you okay?"..
He replies, "I just need to lie down for a bit, go ahead and tee off"

So me and the two guys we were paired up with, tee off.

So I go back to John and tell him he's up..."naw, I'm just gonna rest a bit" he says.

I ask him "You sure you are okay?"..."I'll be fine", he say's...this goes back and forth 3 or 4 times...and finally I "pull myself away and head out for my ball.

Oh, did I mention I was only 4 over at the time?

So, me and the other two gent go on to finish the round, as we get to 18 over looking the clubhouse, I see red lights flashing, a firetruck and a ambulance.

I'm thinking "what the heck is going on?"

Well, we finish up...(I blew the chance at my 2nd sub 80 BTW ), go into the clubhouse to get a cool drink and they have it blocked off with Firemen and EMT's. and there's my buddy John, stretched out on the table with like 3 guys working on him...Oxy mask, IV in him, whole bunch of chit happening.

They didn't want to let me through...but he motioned "OK"...I get up to him and apologize/etc., wishing he'll be okay, so on and so on...

He pull's his mask back a bit and says "how could you just leave me there?"

I said "Eff John, I was only 4 over!"

When he got out of the hospital the next day, he was soooooooo happy to find out I didn't break 80.
True story.

WGT POETRY , QUOTES , MOMENTS , & MORE U614946_20160221_170410.png?0.158

andyson
6,415 Posts

Fri, Feb 19 2016 6:40 AM

MBaggese:
So, we've a;; heard these types of Golf jokes...right?

Yup! And here's one of my favorites....
A guy walks in the door after his Saturday round of golf and his wife says: "How was golf today Hon?"
"Not good, Harry had a heart attack on the 3rd hole"
"Oh that's terrible!" says the wife.
The guy replies: "Yeah! All day long it was 'Hit the ball and drag Harry.' "

by **Paul** Sun 06 Nov 2022, 7:23 pm

craigswan
26,333 Posts

Thu, Feb 18 2016 12:23 AM

Dear .Ren ,
I've never written to you before, but I really need your advice. I have suspected for some time now that my wife has been cheating on me. The usual signs. Phone rings but if I answer, the caller hangs up. My wife has been going out with "the girls" a lot recently although when I ask their names she always says, "Just some friends from work, you don't know them."

It was at that moment, crouching behind my clubs, that I noticed that the graphite shaft on my driver appeared to have a hairline crack right by the club head. Is this something I can fix myself or should I take it back to the pro shop where I bought it?
Signed,
Perplexed

by **Paul** Sun 06 Nov 2022, 7:42 pm

WGT POETRY , QUOTES , MOMENTS , & MORE U1742747_20130117_191219.jpg?0.130.7521

renniw52 wrote "LETS Be Honest thread"
at 4:51 PM on March 8, 2016

Hi pdb1
No need to stay off the thread my friend. When someone ruffles your feathers then let them have it. I am at the point in my life where I take no S-it from anyone. The thread has gone all over the place and so be it. I made a comment awhile back saying that many of the binge posters on WGT have never commented on this thread. No names but I'm sure you have some ideas of whom I'm referring.
Get back on and let it fly.
Rich

by **Paul** Sun 06 Nov 2022, 8:26 pm

WGT POETRY , QUOTES , MOMENTS , & MORE U10232628_20161222_201144.jpg?0.158

WGT POETRY , QUOTES , MOMENTS , & MORE ZAF.gif?0.158

petervcpt
1,013 Posts

Mon, Feb 15 2016 11:13 AM

jb6000:

2 months SOBER...
Life isn't much fun being sober, still waiting on all the good things to start happing.. At leased I'm in a new Country Club and I'm not the #1 pain in the ass It's also gr8 to wake up without a hang over...
Your in our preys Peter...

Thank you JB. That means a lot to me. Especially as you are going through your own personal struggle.
And congratulations on achieving a huge milestone. Good stuff is already happening in your life, you just need to sit back, and realise it.
One day at a time bud. That's how we do it. One. Day. At. A. Time.
Sometimes it's really hard, sometimes you want to just give up, but what's the alternative?
Keep reminding yourself why you took that step. Why you FELT you had to take that step. And then go to sleep, knowing you have conquered another day.
Cheers,
Peter

That's the kind of person Peter was . Even while he was silently suffering himself .

May his soul live on forever .

by **Paul** Sun 06 Nov 2022, 8:30 pm

renniw52
5,385 Posts

Tue, Feb 16 2016 4:43 PM

This gives us all a chance to say something. Let if fly and get it off your chest. Keep it nice and in the right spirit. Once in awhile we will get to know something about a person, that will be nice. Until we do, just be honest and let it fly.
I really miss my Old Gunny Dad. still dealing with it. My job today really kicked my butt, I'm tired and hurt my back lifting $hit that weighs more than me and my beer isn't cold enough. Other than this for today life is fine and I'm still almost breathing. Now I'm going to my garage and have another Camel.

by **Paul** Sun 06 Nov 2022, 9:17 pm

opyeuclid:

Dear Santa .
Hi my name is OPY , I know I asked for something Special but i wish to change my mind ,
After almost 7 years here in WGT land I have more than I can ever ask for !
All the good times with Friends that have come and gone .
Posting a score no matter what , Be it the course or the forums .
The little things that make this game Special .
Thank you WGT and Friends
OPY

by **Paul** Sun 06 Nov 2022, 9:21 pm

HamdenPro
1,846 Posts

Wed, Dec 23 2015 9:28 PM

Thank you MrCaddie and all the Santas...I have been looking forward to this event for a year!!!!!
I think what you all do is wonderful.
If it is not too much to ask, I would really appreciate a long driver and/or fairway wood. Once I made Master, the courses are now too long for me.
If I am asking for too much, then I will settle for world peace...
Hamden Pro

by **Paul** Sun 06 Nov 2022, 9:25 pm

WGT POETRY , QUOTES , MOMENTS , & MORE U12607191_20201206_175854.jpg?0.158

CEverett12
14,177 Posts

Sat, Oct 21 2017 8:56 AM

Hi everyone , I have something I would like to share , A true story ..

My computer went T-I-T-S up last week , Sorry , What I meant was my computer crashed . I posted a thread in the forum and said I was working on it , The next day I got a phone call from Noshots (Wayne) He ask me how the computer problem was going ? I told him it was a mess but I'm still trying to fix it , He said he had a laptop that he wasn't using anymore and if I would like to use it that he would mail it to me , That sound good to me I said , I gave him my address and that was that .

The next morning I get a phone call , Its Wayne , "Hey Casey" , Its Wayne , How ya doing he says , Sorry to call so early , I've got some good news , Are you sitting down ? I said yes . He tells me that he has coffee with some friends every morning , Kind of like a coffee club , He says during the conversation I mentioned you and that I was going to mail you my laptop , Then something happened . something you would not expect , Something unusual , Something wonderful ....One of his friends at the table pulls out his check book and writes a check for $600.00 and tells Wayne Just go buy him a new computer ..

I'm sitting there with a dumb look on my face wondering what did he just say ?, Did I hear him correctly ? Is this a joke ? What are you talking about Wayne ? After a few seconds I said "What" "No" Are you kidding me ? Am I awake ? Once I had processed what he just said I told him (no Wayne you don't need to do that) , Its too late he says , I'm on my way to best buy right now , Ill be there in 20 minutes.

I'm scratching my head in disbelief , These things don't happen , A stranger I have never met or spoken to, buys me a new computer , What the hell is going on ? Its the twilight zone . To be honest , I cant afford to buy myself a new computer so I was happy to borrow Wayne's laptop .

I need to give a Big shout out to Wayne , Without him this would not have happened , Thanks Wayne .. You offered to send me your laptop , You drove 30 minutes to Best buy , You hade to ship the computer at your cost , You also had to pay for taxes etc. Taking time out of your day to do this for me is very touching , I am sorry for my writing skills , I know I suck at it , But I just had to share this good news to all my friends at WGT .. I'm a very lucky guy ...

Forever Grateful

Its a HP 23.8 inch Touch screen - All in one - Intel core i3 - 8 GB memory - 1 TB hard drive

by **Paul** Sun 06 Nov 2022, 9:27 pm

Good Bye Otterley Baby,,,by Weeducation

Weeducation

15 Posts09-29-2015 11:44 AM

Some of you guys may already know that I am a Canadian Ranger and as such we patrol the great Canadian wilderness to enforce wildlife and fishing rules and policies. But sometimes we as individual take on task we are not paid for. I did just that this past summer when I attempted to rescue a baby otter I found.

The poor thing needed bottle feeding and tons of general attention. I was very lucky since she took to me very fast and was following pretty much everywhere I went although vehicles in general were an amazing challenge to say the least. However with the help of my fellow Rangers she became the mascot of our outpost camp for the summer. She was quite the hit with the many tourist that we deal with on daily basis and many were amazed how friendly she was.

Then came time for me to come home to my wife and 6 pets(3 dogs 2 cats 1 snake) which quickly became a total nightmare and a real free for all sometimes looking like it might degenerate into a UFC event.

Luckily I never intended on keeping Otterley and have been training her to provide for herself in the wild over the last few weeks and today was this unfortunate day that I finally released her back to Algonquin Park animal preserve.

Sitting here with finally peace and quiet I do sorely miss her so I thought this forum would be a good place for my homage to Otterley .....sniff....sniff....

by **Paul** Sun 06 Nov 2022, 9:35 pm

Next260
135 Posts Mon, Dec 26 2016 9:09 AM

I'M currently shopping around for a laptop, currently Amazon and Best Buy, but there are so many options available.
I'll primarily be using it for WGT and some home applications.
Does anyone have any recommendations?
Thanks ;
Ron
pdb1
13,426 Posts Thu, Dec 29 2016 9:00 PM

Check craigslist . Look for someone near a college or university near you that builds computers . You will likely find several competing with each other for price and quality .
They will likely have several models and prices .
kishoph
724 Posts Fri, Dec 30 2016 5:14 AM

That is good advice from Paul, my next system I'll also probably go the route of having one built or building it myself.
Although it never hurts to look at as many options as you can (I hope I'm not over stepping my bounds here, by bringing someone into it). I also would askazdewars. He has shown a great knowledge of computers and I'll assume that he wouldn't mind giving you his advice. Again not to detract from Paul's advice, just suggesting that you look into all avenues. Computers can get costly and you want to make the right choice. I know I have purchased some lemons in the past that I could of avoided with a little checking.
Good luck,
Next260
135 Posts Fri, Dec 30 2016 5:32 PM

Thanks, I appreciate any assistance I can get.
pdb1
13,426 Posts Fri, Dec 30 2016 5:52 PM

kishoph:
I hope I'm not over stepping my bounds here,

Don't be silly Gene . I've waited years for some members to say something .
Comments and opinions from you guys are the highlights of my day , week , month , year . Bring as many people as you can into it . You couldn't have picked a better person time or subject . Well , maybe a better time . John's not feeling so well at the moment . But I hope he sees this and responds as he is the TNITV . Top nerd in the Valley .
Next260
135 Posts Fri, Dec 30 2016 6:28 PM

What is the opinion on chrome book
pdb1
13,426 Posts Sat, Dec 31 2016 8:49 AM

Next260:

What is the opinion on chrome book

Haven't tried it Ron . . But my opinion of products that require selective software is that they are limiting . Similar to the Chrome browser . I don't know how versatile the Chrome book is .
azdewars
468 Posts Sun, Jan 1 2017 7:36 AM

Hello Ron, As Im reading your post and other responses today , Im going to COMMITT to building a solid, stable , performer system for you at NO COST TO YOU (within reason). Its will be VOTSCC members gift to you.Lets start discussing details.
azdewars@gmail.com
john and members
SChoitz
41 Posts Sun, Jan 1 2017 8:05 AM

azdewars:

Hello Ron, As Im reading your post and other responses today , Im going to COMMITT to building a solid, stable , performer system for you at NO COST TO YOU (within reason). Its will be VOTSCC members gift to you.Lets start discussing details.
azdewars@gmail.com
john and members

Thats the ONLY way to go! I can recall the 2 namebrand computers I have had since the 90's.. all the rest I build myself. The latest I built/programmed back around April 2016. Not a high-end gaming system mind you, but you couldn't buy one like it for under $1700
Scott
pdb1
13,426 Posts Sun, Jan 1 2017 8:40 AM

The trumpets are blaring da da da dah !
TODAY'S TECHNOLOGY TIPS FROM THE DOCTOR OF TECHNOLOGY AZDEWARS
Has arrived .
Ron . I leave you in the most capable hands you could have asked for .
Hi John . Thank you my friend .
Next260
135 Posts Sun, Jan 1 2017 10:14 AM

Thanks ,John and everyone.
azdewars
468 Posts Tue, Jan 3 2017 12:40 AM

My Pleasure
kishoph
724 Posts Tue, Jan 3 2017 3:53 AM

azdewars:

Hello Ron, As Im reading your post and other responses today , Im going to COMMITT to building a solid, stable , performer system for you at NO COST TO YOU (within reason). Its will be VOTSCC members gift to you.Lets start discussing details.
azdewars@gmail.com
john and members

Wow John, that's awesome and very generous of you to commit the time and effort..
I would of said something sooner, but my computer keeps breaking down, just kidding.
I'm very happy and proud to be part of a group with members like yourself, that will help one another out without worrying about being compensated in some way, other than just the pleasure of knowing you've helped someone. We have a group of guys and gals that are genuinely nice people. A rarity in today's society IMO.
Thank you
Gene
JimQ916
4,365 Posts Tue, Jan 3 2017 7:54 AM

YOU ROCK JOHN!!!! And Gene, you're right on the nose saying VOTSCC is like no other...we have a lot of the best members WGT has to offer.
azdewars
468 Posts Tue, Jan 3 2017 4:25 PM

A big THANK YOU to Paul, Jim, Gene and Scott for your continued support AND kind words. The four (4) of you men have given me some faith back in mankind. Thats HUGE in my book..
Ron is sending some minor info on connection source, and definition of "home use".
I'm installing MS Office Pro Plus 2016 (activated) and hopefully that will cover it. Run some diagnostics and tests. If all fares well, I told Ron he should have system by next Saturday.
Thanks again guys for making my day..
John -azdewars

add: Jim, Thank you so much for your PM and concern. Super improvement. Future looks bright. You and your family are in my prayers. john
pdb1
13,426 Posts Tue, Jan 3 2017 6:44 PM

Very happy owner . Beaming with pride .

NEXT260 EQUIPMENT SPECS.
- azdewars
  468 Posts Thu, Feb 2 2017 11:52 PM
  
  Estimated delivery: Sat, Feb. 11 USPS
  ASUS Republic of Gamers G50V Core 2 Duo -P7450 4GB RAM
  ASUS ROG G50V
  
  EVERYTHING WORKS EXCEPT THE DIRECT CONSOLE MODULE DOES NOT LIGHT UP. i BELIEVE NOW THAT ITS SHIPPED I FIGURED OUT THE FIX
  - WINDOWS 7 HOME PREMIUM X64 SP1
  - INTEL CORE 2 DUO P7450 2.13GHZ
  - 160GB INTEL SSD
  - DVD DRIVE
  - 4GB MEMORY
  - NVIDIA GEFORCE 9700M GT
  - INTEL WIFI LINK 5100 AGN
  - INTEGRATED WEBCAM
  - 7200 MAH BATTERY
  - POWER CORD
  - SHIPPING
  NJOY RON

pdb1
13,426 Posts Fri, Feb 3 2017 4:04 AM

OMG John . I wondered what you had been up to . This is BIG . You are a very honorable man of your word . Prior to this . Your contributions have been on a level of invaluable proportions . You have now reached new levels beyond description . Intersolaric Amplitude . Or something .
azdewars
468 Posts Fri, Feb 3 2017 6:13 AM

(-_-) THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THOSE KIND WORDS. i'M HAPPY WITH THIS CONFIGURATION FOR wgt PLAY. TYVM AGAIN MY FRIEND. ILL TOUCH BASE WITH YOU VIA GMAIL SOON.
JOHN
Next260
135 Posts Fri, Feb 3 2017 6:33 PM

Thanks again John , I'll keep an eye out for the pkg.
JimQ916
4,365 Posts Fri, Feb 3 2017 6:52 PM

Damn John.....everything about this club has amazes me.....this is so way above and beyond it's unbelievable. It most definitely renews my faith in humanity.....you rock my friend!!!!!! I was in need of a set of headphones not too long ago and mentioned something of that nature to Turdster...I didn't ask for them, just said I couldn't Skype with my daughter because I didn't have a set.....needless to say, I no longer need them...Dan sent me a great set...simply amazing!!!!! Anytime I start to get down on how and how fast the world is going to hell, I see things like this and it points my thinking in a new direction...Thank you guys for that....Jim
azdewars
468 Posts Fri, Feb 3 2017 8:52 PM

Right on Jim AND good looking out Turdster
john
kishoph
724 Posts Sat, Feb 4 2017 5:49 AM

You're the man John.
pdb1
13,426 Posts Sat, Feb 4 2017 6:52 AM

I can't stop crying . Lol . No but this is a classic moment for us . Makes an owner very proud .

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HOPE YOU ENJOYED PAGE 1 . TIME TO GO TO PAGE 2

by **Paul** Sun 06 Nov 2022, 9:52 pm

If you like these WGT quotes and poems and moments Check out the links below . You will find all the artwork from each tournament and the conversationa and banter and dialogue from the WGT forum . Each one trimmed and condensed . All on one page . A little easier to want to read the whole thing . Then going page to page in the forum .