THE WORLD IS BEAUTIFUL

by **Paul** Sun 06 Nov 2022, 9:53 pm

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YANCYCAAN FILM FESTIVAL

by **Paul** Sun 06 Nov 2022, 9:57 pm

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KELLY'S KOLOSSOL KRAZY KORNER

by **Paul** Mon 07 Nov 2022, 9:29 am

For new players coming on board WGT, here's what to watch out for........

	The "Sam Snead" or "Freddie Couples" meter, smooth as butter they say. Very rare to get this meter right out of the box. Mostly, tweaking one's computer is required as WGT has shown no inclination to improve their meter performance.
	The "RPM" or "Rocket Propelled Meter". Starts out looking like a Sam or Freddie, but a slight pause is followed by a rocket like meter. Often occurs at the worst possible time frequently when a water hazard is present. No known for-sure cure for this. It just happens.
	Called many things. Some names I can post on the forums are "The Herky Jerky", "The DTs", "The Tourettes Meter", or just "The Stutters". As shown, the swing meter can stop-go, stop-go, stop-go.... on both the backswing and downswing...but often only on the downswing. Most common form.
	Perhaps the ugliest, but thankfully rarest of meters, is a combination of RPM and severe Stutters. Characterized by long pauses, with fits and starts, it is known as The Barkley.
	This is my swing meter, The Andyson, mostly happens only during multi-player rounds, rarely happens in single play. In Alt Shot, usually followed by "sry p, metered"

by **Paul** Mon 07 Nov 2022, 4:54 pm

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@Paul

Not for the first time . But hopefully for the last .
Colin has maturely and thankfully suggested that we get over this . And get past this .

@"Colin"
"standing down"
Paul;
I apologize for all the BS I have thrown your way. I am willing to bury the hatchet, Life is too short so let's move on.
ct

As I would like nothing better . I accept . And will absolutely proceed with no chip on my shoulder .
Thank you for stepping up Colin . That's a big thing to do .

Thank you

Paul

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This will absolutely put the past behind us . Able to comfortably move forward .
Thanks guys

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by **Paul** Mon 07 Nov 2022, 5:14 pm

NICE TO SEE HARRY STILL CARES

pdb1

4,732 Posts 07-18-2015 5:17 PM
harryskunk wrote
on 18 Jul 2015 at 5:07 PM

Hello, this is a message from harryskunk. I've sent you a gift:
Glenmorangie Official Avatar (Female 3)
Click here to equip it

Awe how nice . Good to see you still care .
He also gifted me my pink golf bag . After I told him anything but pink .
pdb1

4,732 Posts 07-18-2015 5:33 PM

Enlarge this image Click to see fullsize
So this is what I sent him back
harryskunk wrote
on 18 Jul 2015 at 5:18 PM

lol i send them to all my friends lol;

by **Paul** Mon 07 Nov 2022, 5:24 pm

pdb1

2,972 Posts
06-02-2015 4:57 AM

ROBMURPHY HAS ACHIEVED ANOTHER UNSURMOUNTABLE MILESTONE
Yes . It seems impossible to imagine that he has done it again . But with him I truly believe the sky is the limit .
Rob has scored a half a million on one course . Yes 580,758 . In one BLITZ round . So incredible . So awesome .
Well done Rob . Can't wait to see what you have next .;
robmurphy4

161 Posts
06-02-2015 6:08 AM

Thanks Paul. Not sure what next milestone will be but I hope it involves beer and naked women.
Rob

Rob was the first to score over 500,000 points in one BLITZ round . Then a couple few more guys scored over 600,000 . And finally CoryGRobinson scored over 1,000,000 in one round . WOW ! That's a lot of points . 2 or 3 or more holers in a round .

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by **Paul** Mon 07 Nov 2022, 7:33 pm

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Bertaision

Here's an oldie about the things you can say around Halloween that sound dirty, but aren't.
What did you get in the sack?
Once you get under the sheet start moaning.
Just hop on the broomstick and ride it.
The small suckers are gone in just a few licks.
You scared me stiff.
Quit screwing around on the porch.
Stick your hand in and guess what you're feeling.
Can I eat your nuts?
They'll suck you dry if they get their teeth on you.
Can I have your nuts?
I bobbed and I bobbed but I couldn't get my mouth around it.

She's a goblin.
I'm hoping to get something in the sack tonight.
She's got a couple of nice pumpkins on her porch.
If you just lick it, it will last a lot longer.
Let me see your sack.
It was so big and heavy that I had to use both hands.
Have your mom check it before you put it in your mouth.
I get the best pieces at that house.
Just get on your knees and bob with your head.
And my favorite. . .all courtesy the Letterman Show. . .
He's got Candy spread on the living room floor.

by **Paul** Mon 07 Nov 2022, 7:41 pm

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CrustyDemon1

136 Posts

08-23-2015 7:35 PM

Thank you Paul, for accepting me so quickly into the CC.
I had been reading lots about this CC in the wgt forum when I decided to take a look...it looks fantastic!
Gonna take me a week to read the forum...lol
About me....my name is Kelly, and I'm an architecture student at Uni in Melbourne, Australia.
I love to play CC tourneys, so am almost always red when here, but a PM from new friends might encourage me to drop what I'm doing for a game.
Future boyfriends and husbands need not apply...lol
I'm here to have good cleanish fun :-)
Hope to meet lots of you soon
Kelly :-}
P.S.
My wgt name is because I am a motorcycle stunt freak...no, I don't ride one, but I love them.

Kelly turned out to be the most outstanding female CC member . Friendly , personable , helpful , comical , you name it .

by **Paul** Fri 11 Nov 2022, 2:41 pm

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thatcanadianguy
557 Posts

Thu, Nov 11 2010 4:19 AM

What is a Vet?
Some veterans bear visible signs of their service: a missing limb, a jagged scar, a certain look in the eye.

Others may carry the evidence inside them: a pin holding a bone together, a piece of shrapnel in the leg - or perhaps another sort of inner steel: the soul's ally forged in the refinery of adversity.

Except in parades, however, the men and women who have kept America safe wear no badge or emblem.

You can't tell a vet just by looking.

He is the cop on the beat who spent six months in Saudi Arabia sweating two gallons a day making sure the armored personnel carriers didn't run out of fuel.

He is the barroom loudmouth, dumber than five wooden planks, whose overgrown frat-boy behavior is outweighed a hundred times in the cosmic scales by four hours of exquisite bravery near the 38th parallel.

She - or he - is the nurse who fought against futility and went to sleep sobbing every night for two solid years in Da Nang.

He is the POW who went away one person and came back another - or didn't come back AT ALL.

He is the Quantico drill instructor who has never seen combat - but has saved countless lives by turning slouchy, no-account rednecks and gang members into Marines, and teaching them to watch each others backs.

He is the parade - riding Legionnaire who pins on his ribbons and medals with a prosthetic hand.

He is the career quartermaster who watches the ribbons and medals pass him by.

He is the three anonymous heroes in The Tomb Of The Unknowns, whose presence at the Arlington National Cemetery must forever preserve the memory of all the anonymous heroes whose valor dies unrecognized with them on the battlefield or in the ocean's sunless deep.

He is the old guy bagging groceries at the supermarket - palsied now and aggravatingly slow - who helped liberate a Nazi death camp and who wishes all day long that his wife were still alive to hold him when the nightmares come.

He is an ordinary and yet an extraordinary human being - a person who offered some of his life's most vital years in the service of his country, and who sacrificed his ambitions so others would not have to sacrifice theirs.

He is a soldier and a savior and a sword against the darkness, and he is nothing more than the finest, greatest testimony on behalf of the finest, greatest nation ever known.

So remember, each time you see someone who has served our country, just lean over and say Thank You. That's all most people need, and in most cases it will mean more than any medals they could have been awarded or were awarded.

Two little words that mean a lot, "THANK YOU".

"It is the soldier, not the reporter, Who has given us freedom of the press. It is the soldier, not the poet, Who has given us freedom of speech. It is the soldier, not the campus organizer, Who has given us the freedom to demonstrate. It is the soldier, Who salutes the flag, Who serves beneath the flag, and whose coffin is draped by the flag, who allows the protester to burn the flag."

Father Denis Edward O'Brien/USMC

Thank you to all the vets.

by **Paul** Fri 11 Nov 2022, 2:43 pm

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superchuck
210 Posts

Thu, Nov 11 2010 9:13 AM

My father had three brothers who served in WWII. He was deeply disappointed that he was not accepted into the military. He had lost 3 fingers in a childhood accident. One night he and his older brother-in-law packed up a beat up old car and drove continuously from Dallas Tx to California with the sole purpose of joining the homeland fight. They went to work at a bomber plant, proudly churning out the mighty B-17's. 12 hour shifts 7 days a week. He told me of the quiet solidarity and deliberance that each worker had. They too, men and women, had loved ones and family members that were far away fighting a deadly enemy. Each nut tightened, each rivet driven, each wiring harness, was assembled with the thought of giving our fighting brothers the best chance they could to come home. Though not technically labeled Veterens, the millions of people who selflessly disguarded their lifestyles to produce the best euipment in the almost inconcievable quantities, are de-facto Veterens in my eye. This day is a glorious day of remeberence for the brave individuals who fought the fight, and also the driven individuals that helped them do it. Here and abroad, God Bless them All!! THANK YOU VETERENS and THANK YOU ROSIE THE RIVETER!

by **Paul** Fri 11 Nov 2022, 2:49 pm

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LarkinPat1
83 Posts

Sun, Sep 18 2011 1:48 PM

Was a Good Game Until She Lost 3 Calli Balls

Started with a Long drive and alot of balls
18 Sep 2011 at 1:16 PM
Hello, It was me and you kid,
18 holes, St Andrews, remember? all the way baby, to the moon.. "well' at least all the way to the 4Th hole, And at that moment, you & I watched, as your Drive appeared to be lost, and out of bounds, and just for a second we were saddened of the thought of a lost ball.. And we found that It wasn't out, after all, It was Good.!.wow it felt like a, Kodak Moment, lol... but it was buried 60/70% ,you took a shot so quickly,.. to get it out,.. "and safe"... you were so happy to see it, you had found what you thought was lost forever....you had beat the odds... Then some thing happened, as quick as you found what you lost,.smack!... you set it free,... and on its way to an unknown location, and unsure as you may of felt,.?. You let it Fly anyway....and again, As we had feared once before, watching and hoping, that your shot, & that ball will work!. some way some how? but to no avail, "suddenly" a new ball appeared! in the very same spot as the others, Acting As if what you just lost didn't matter to it,..,As if it was taking what you just went through, with true disregard, and lying about whats happened, "saying' I'm a new clean Ball...just Hit me some ware!... its,safe.!.. you believed your ball would do what it was saying.....it should, its a honest ball,.. and new after all, you were both ready to move on..., I get that... so, you set it on its way to safety, and a comfortable landing area right?... it should have been poetry in motion, nothing can happen after all that.... Right then and there we both saw how that 2RD Ball instilled a false hope, its agenda was to escape all along, and we new it.. In less then 2 minutes we went from thinking of eagles to a fear of loss,... to a joy of a reuniting two old friends, with a comforting confidence of endless play, it was a Fickle Feeling to be suddenly scummed, by "Ball deception?, by a replacement Ball, too? and installing false hopes, and lies that seem to hypnotize us... so by the time the 3RD ball shows up, your anger and confusion of every thing thats happened, was so Big, Mr 3RD Ball wasn't going to ruin your game... you grabbed your club and as soon as that 3RD new ball shown its face on the spot that had killed 2 others , you hit it.., you hit it hard... and with conviction, and truth.. with no doubts or second thoughts, until it too went on its own journey, I'm the one who calls all the shots, Who's always driving us in a direction,that depends on are survival .. so now I know, .the end .

by **Paul** Fri 11 Nov 2022, 2:53 pm

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Aidansnell
147 Posts

Tue, Jun 25 2019 12:53 PM

How futile every hope is, that we have,

How illusory all our designs,

And how crammed this world with ignorance,

We learn from our master–the Grave.
Lorenzo the Magnificent (1449-1492)
seems like a good poem for software developers.

by **Paul** Fri 11 Nov 2022, 2:56 pm

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Cas57
2,858 Posts

Mon, Aug 30 2021 9:18 PM

dang, my previous post was a rhyme!
I'm a poet and didn't know it! LOL
in turf wars, we're still young but, we're 14 and 1
if you like clashes, just use the free passes
or there is usually a couple of super passes available too
cc tourney's, if you like
pressure - none

by **Paul** Fri 11 Nov 2022, 2:58 pm

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jeffdos924
1,085 Posts

Wed, Dec 23 2009 1:45 PM

You wanna hear why I love you?
Well I won't bother to tell you...
You recall that night in London
When we stumbled through the mist
And assured our neighbours
That we'd never believe differently.....
How's this, Alex ?-

You want to know why I hate you?
Well I'll try and explain...
You remember that day in Paris
When we wandered through the rain
And promised to each other
That we'd always think the same
And dreamed that dream
To be two souls as one
And stopped just as the sun set
And waited for the night
Outside a glittering building
Of glittering glass and burning light...

Answer (unless I've missed a prior artist ) .... " How Beautiful You Are" by The Cure.
If I'm correct, i'll take a sleeve in whatever color is the least expensive.

by **Paul** Fri 11 Nov 2022, 3:01 pm

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Faterson
2,902 Posts

Wed, Dec 23 2009 2:13 PM

Congratulations, Jeff. You might perhaps educate us on how you arrived at the solution. There were 2 basic ways to solve this: you knew the song and the "encryption" reminded you of it; or you used the Google avenue.
I'll be sending you the GI2-S balls. Definitely not the least expensive colour; please let me know which colour you prefer. If you have no preference, I'll be sending you the Gold variety, usually considered the most prestigious on WGT.com. We don't want our Christmas presents to look too shabby, do we?
The song is How Beautiful You Are... by The Cure from their critically acclaimed 1987 album Kiss Me, Kiss Me, Kiss Me. (The album reached Platinum status in the US despite this being a British band.) Here are the full lyrics & a concert video clip of the song.
As to the Google option of finding the solution, one may put any set of words into quotation marks, while inserting an asterisk (*) to stand for "any word". In this way, if you search for the sequence of "why I * you well" (including the quotation marks), Google leads you to this song by The Cure. It's in the top 10 of search results for that string.
Now for those who won't bother to read the entire lyrics, here is the condensed message of the song. Great, powerful poetry, I believe. Despite the song's message, Happy Christmas to everyone!
You want to know why I hate you?
Well I'll try and explain...

You remember that day in Paris
When we wandered through the rain
And promised to each other
That we'd always think the same
And dreamed that dream
To be two souls as one
...
The father's eyes said, "Beautiful!
How beautiful you are!"
The boy's eyes said,
"How beautiful!
She shimmers like a star!"
The child's eyes uttered nothing
But a mute and utter joy
And filled my heart with shame for us
At the way we are

I turned to look at you
To read my thoughts upon your face
And gazed so deep into your eyes
So beautiful and strange
Until you spoke
And showed me understanding is a dream:
"I hate these people staring
Make them go away from me!"

...
And this is why I hate you
And how I understand
That no-one ever knows or loves another
Or loves another

by **Paul** Fri 11 Nov 2022, 3:08 pm

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JessicaOfCourse
42 Posts

Tue, Aug 30 2022 7:06 AM

Wordsmiths

Finding myself somewhat bedridden for the time I thought I would try my hand at writing as many words beginning with the same letter in a sentence. The silly idea for this is a consequence of recalling the movie scene in V for Vendetta when V (Hugo Weaving) meets Evey (Natalie Portman) for the first time. Painkillers may be in play here, but I took a shot to see what I could come up with. It took me approximately five minutes to write and much longer (given my obvious challenged math skills lol) to calculate the final alliteration tally of Ps to Total Words

Knowing there are many excellent wordsmiths and fans of alliteration here in the Forums I’d love to see how others do—not necessarily a competition, just for fun. Wishing all a beautiful day and enjoyable time on WGT—the best virtual golf platform in the known universe. Cheers, Jessica (OfCourse)

My Letter of Choice – “P”

Practicing prolixity and playing on the pejorative phrenology of the platform’s participants, pigeonholing the physical piety of phenomenal prejudices prayed precedingly and perpetrated by perturbed, persistent, pernicious platitudes professed by plundering proclamations by perfectly prescient phony philosophers presenting plausible, yet plastic portrayals of plenteous pedestrian prosaisms and a plethora of platonic pledges of pleasure and peculiar pimping of pillorying piles of prodigious plumes of pious, public persuasion placed prostrate pleasantly and presently propounding and pronouncing propitious propinquity prosaic prose proportionally, parallel possessing prophetically, properly propagated prosthetic poppycock of preoccupied, prosperous propaganda. *

Totals:
Prorated “Ps” to Total Words: 91 Words – 69 “P” to 22 Non-Ps … 75%
*All the characters and events depicted are fictitious. Any resemblance to a person living or dead is purely coincidental

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HamdenPro
1,853 Posts

Tue, Aug 30 2022 1:22 PM

There is no way I could write like that,
Not even going to try, because I am a Cat.
It is very impressive, what you wrote,
The idea I could do that is so remote.
Rather than try, I just want to say
I read your profile page today,
Best wishes are in order, oh what joy

Congratulations, IT'S A BOY!!!

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by **Paul** Fri 11 Nov 2022, 3:25 pm

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WigerToods2010
8,213 Posts

Sat, Jan 25 2014 6:18 AM

January 25th
Our ain national bard Robert Burns, born on this day 1759.
[th]Notable work(s)[/th]

"Auld Lang Syne" "To a Mouse" "A Man's a Man for A' That" "Ae Fond Kiss" "Scots Wha Hae" "Tam O'Shanter" "Halloween" "The Battle of Sherramuir"

And a slightly less notable ditty:

Ah wiz oot oan the coorse
Gowf club in ma hawn
Checked ma grip, ma stonce
And the lay of the lawn.

'Hunner yerds' mah wee caddie did cry
'Jis whack yer baw n it surely will fly'
Oot came yon clevey all shiney n nu
If ah hit thee correctly mah baw will stay troo.

Whoosh! went mah swing
Yon baw ah did hit
'Eff you' sed mah meter
'Yer gan in thy $hit'

..soz, seem to be suffering from terrible Burns at the mo.
;o)

by **Paul** Fri 11 Nov 2022, 5:13 pm

tiffer67:
Well I say your grass,

like trying to unring the bell
like nailing Jello to the wall.
as easy as trying to paint the wind;
like shaving with an axe.
Like trying to play the piano with boxing gloves.
talk about rearranging the deck chairs on the Titantic
like asking a man, ready for the electric chair, if he'd like AC or DC
That'll go over like a pregnant pole vaulter!
as futile as a fart in a windstorm.
It's like trying to herd crickets.

by **Paul** Fri 11 Nov 2022, 8:53 pm

ArnieFinlay:

That is why WGT is so intriguing at best or downright infuriating at worse.

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reddevil16:
You will never beat a machine that's takes money for the fun of it .

azdewars

Beautiful Tomorrow Never Comes. When It Comes, Its Already TODAY. In The Search For Beautiful Tomorrow, DON’T Lose Your Wonderful TODAY. Wish you all a Happy Sunday and a wonderful week ahead.
And remember.................
Happiness Does not Depend on What you have or Who you are, It Solely Relies On What You Think.
VOTSCC

by **Paul** Mon 14 Nov 2022, 7:23 pm

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Robert1893
7,271 Posts

Tue, Feb 23 2021 3:25 PM

Best golf quote ever:
"The harder I practice, the luckier I get" (attributed to various individuals; Arnold Palmer credits Jerry Barber).
SimonTheBeetle
3,052 Posts Tue, Feb 23 2021 3:42 PM

Robert1893:

Best golf quote ever:
"The harder I practice, the luckier I get" (attributed to various individuals; Arnold Palmer credits Jerry Barber).

I always thought it was Mr. Gary Player who said it. Whoever the quote belongs to, it's an unchangeable maxim for sure.
gherkinhead1
232 Posts Tue, Feb 23 2021 4:15 PM

Robert1893:

Best golf quote ever:
"The harder I practice, the luckier I get" (attributed to various individuals; Arnold Palmer credits Jerry Barber).

"luck is where preparation meets opportunity".
pmm711
5,131 Posts Tue, Feb 23 2021 5:14 PM

SimonTheBeetle:
The harder I practice, the luckier I get

I think I got this in a fortune cookie once...and well...you know ;-/

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BPeterson8256
2,857 Posts

Thu, Feb 25 2021 9:38 AM

Robert1893:

does anybody really know what time it is?

10:38 MST
BPeterson8256
2,857 Posts Thu, Feb 25 2021 9:40 AM
BPeterson8256:
Robert1893:

does anybody really know what time it is?
10:38 MST
I blew it... soft pitch across the plate and I missed the "25 or 26 to 4" ‍�
Cicero733
2,046 Posts Thu, Feb 25 2021 10:30 AM
Sounds like it’s only the beginnings
Robert1893
7,271 Posts Thu, Feb 25 2021 5:51 PM

BPeterson8256:
I blew it... soft pitch across the plate and I missed the "25 or 26 to 4" ‍�
hpurey
11,505 Posts Thu, Feb 25 2021 7:45 PM
Robert1893:

BPeterson8256:
I blew it... soft pitch across the plate and I missed the "25 or 26 to 4" ‍�
LOL was going to say something but now I got two songs stuck in my head at the same time.

But hey, now I know what I'm listening to while working from home tomorrow. ;-)

by **Paul** Mon 14 Nov 2022, 9:03 pm

A man and his wife had an argument in bed, after which he slept downstairs. The next day she felt guilty and decided to buy him a present. As he was a keen golfer, she went to the pro shop. The pro suggested a putter and showed her one of the best in stock.
‘How much?’ she asked.
‘$150,’ said the pro.
‘That’s a bit expensive.’
‘But it comes with an inscription.’
‘What kind of inscription?’
‘Whatever you like, but one of the old golfers’ favourites is NEVER UP, NEVER IN.’
‘Oh, that will do,’ said the wife. ‘After all, that’s what started the argument in the first place.’

--------------------------------------------------------

Two guys were playing golf on a Saturday afternoon, just as they had every week for the past six years. The first guy was about to tee off when a woman in a wedding dress ran up to him screaming: ‘You bastard! You stinking bastard! You promised!’
Stepping back from the ball, he replied calmly: ‘Honey, I said only if it rains today . . .’

--------------------------------------------------------------
A passer-by came across four golfers in a bunker. One was lying face down in the sand while the other three were arguing furiously.
‘What’s going on?’ asked the passer-by.
One of the golfers turned and said: ‘It’s these guys – they’ll do anything to win. My partner’s just had a stroke and they want to add it to our score!’

-------------------------------------------------------

After finishing his round of golf, Roger headed straight for the bar where he bumped into his friend Barney. Looking down at Roger’s trousers, Barney asked him: ‘Why are your trousers so wet at the front?’
Roger called him to one side and explained quietly: ‘Today is the first time I’ve played golf wearing bifocals. Throughout my round, I could see two sizes for everything. There was a big club and a little club, a big ball and a little ball, and so on. So I hit the little ball with the big club, and it worked a treat. And when I got to the green, I putted the little ball into the big cup. I played the best golf of my life.’
‘I understand all that,’ said Barney, ‘but how did you get so wet?’
‘Well,’ said Roger, ‘when I got to the 15th, I was desperate for a pee. I knew I couldn’t wait until I got back to the clubhouse. So I sneaked into the woods and unzipped my fly. When I looked down there were two of them – a big one and a little one. Well, I knew the big one wasn’t mine, so I put it back.’

----------------------------------------------------

A husband and wife were playing on the tenth green when she collapsed from a heart attack.
‘Please, dear, I need help,’ she gasped.
The husband ran off, promising: ‘I’ll fetch some help.’
Five minutes later, he returned, picked up his putter and began to line up his putt.
His wife, lying on the ground, raised her head and said: ‘I may be dying and you’re putting?’
‘Don’t worry, honey,’ he said. ‘I found a doctor on the third hole who said he’d come and help you.’
‘The third hole?’ she groaned, clutching her chest. ‘When the hell is he coming?’
‘Hey! I told you not to worry,’ said the husband, practising his putt. ‘Everyone’s already agreed to let him play through.’

-----------------------------------------------------------

Three guys – a father, a son and a grandfather – went off to play a round of golf. They were waiting on the first tee when a gorgeous young woman walked up, carrying her clubs.
‘My playing partner hasn’t shown up,’ she said. ‘Could I possibly join you?’
Their eyes nearly popped out of their heads at the prospect of spending the next four hours with this beautiful creature, and they readily agreed.
‘There’s just one thing,’ she said. – ‘I don’t mind you swearing or smoking but, whatever you do, just don’t try to coach me on my game.’
The guys were happy to do whatever she asked. They let her tee off first. All eyes were on her ass as her short, tight skirt rode up it while she bent over to place the ball. She then proceeded to hammer the ball straight down the middle. It was the same story, hole after hole. None of the guys could compete with her.
On the 18th, she was left with a 12ft putt for a level-par round of 72. She turned to them and said: ‘You guys have done a great job at not trying to coach me on my game. I have never shot a round of level par before and it is so important to me that I’m going to ask each of you for your opinion on this crucial putt. And if any of those opinions help me to make this putt, I’ll give you all a blow job that you will never forget.’
The guys were in dreamland. The son walked over to her ball, studied the putt for a couple of minutes and said: ‘Lady, aim that putt three inches to the right of the hole and it will break to the left and drop in the middle of the cup.’
The father walked over and said: ‘Don’t listen to the boy, ma’am. Aim six inches to the left and it will break right and drop in the middle of the hole.’
The grandfather looked at both of them in disgust, walked over, picked up the ball and said: ‘Never mind the putt, that’s a gimme.’

------------------------------------------------------------

‘How was your golf game today?’ asked Bill’s wife Tammy.
‘I was hitting the ball pretty well,’ he replied, ‘but my eyesight is so bad now that I couldn’t see where the ball went.’
‘Bill, you’re seventy-five years old!’ admonished his wife. ‘Of course your eyesight isn’t as good as it used to be. Look, why don’t you take my brother Dan along?’
‘But Dan is eighty-four and doesn’t even play golf any more,’ protested Bill.
Tammy said: ‘I know he no longer has all his faculties, but he has got perfect eyesight. At least he could watch your ball.’
Bill agreed to give it a go, and the next day he teed off with Dan looking on. Bill swung and the ball disappeared down the middle of the fairway.
‘Did you see it?’ asked Bill.
‘Yup,’ replied Dan.
‘Well, where is it?’ yelled Bill, heading down the fairway and peering into the distance.
Dan said: ‘I forget.’

by **Paul** Mon 14 Nov 2022, 9:11 pm

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BeezNutz82
17 Posts

Sat, Feb 27 2021 8:37 AM

I'll take said better driver! I recently moved up to Tour master and it's been 4 days now. I'm so close to just turning it off and never playing ok ng again I'm ni near heartbroken over it. Well that and the nearly unbearable state of my life given a series of unfortunate circumstances unforeseeable events and now this absolute malarkey. Inconsistent comrodery and forever failing dingy thingy!

by **Paul** Mon 14 Nov 2022, 9:24 pm

Mushy01
2,567 Posts

Sat, Jul 13 2013 6:16 AM

[b]WGT:[/b]
WGT Stats The #1 online golf game with over 7 million registered players

WGT Stats The #1 online golf game with 18 famous courses including Merion, Pebble and St Andrews

Actual quotes by WGT at the top of the home page.
alosso
20,815 Posts Sat, Jul 13 2013 6:19 AM
That corresponds to my recent findings:
A fairly new user has a UserID above 7.200.000 .
Any guesses how many of these have left some credits in the Pro Shop this year?
Mushy01
2,567 Posts Sat, Jul 13 2013 6:32 AM
bearing in mind it still only July , erm noo , wouldn't like to hazard a guess lol
caucus
20 Posts Sat, Jul 13 2013 6:37 AM
There aren't millions of dedicated WGT players but there is a group of 16 (of which 8 are legends) who play together every day - YES, EVERY SINGLE DAY! It is called the EMG, which stands for Elite Members Group and it has it's own website where the members can meet & chat, without even being logged on to WGT. On the private chat, they arrange matches which are part of organised tournaments and nothing to do with WGT Country Club Tournaments. Currently there are five or six competitions running simultaneously in the SP, MP and AS formats.
Membership is by invitation only and you can apply to join by going to this link:
Elite Members Group
GitUsummaDis
468 Posts Sat, Sep 3 2016 4:06 PM
I did a search to find this thread about somebody that should be searching first. lmao
GitUsummaDis
468 Posts Sun, Sep 4 2016 5:39 PM
Just for anyone to try in practice and see if it works for you like it does me! I use 50% for Elev +. I use 25% for Elev -.
So for a 200yd approach or Par3 20ft up becomes 210yds. 20ft down becomes 195yds. Just my 2 cents here.

Edited: My math sucked there. LOL
WilliamRay231
338 Posts Wed, Sep 14 2016 1:32 PM
Hello nolongerlonger,
It’s been a long time since we played together. Look me up and I will pass along some of my notes on elevation changes and wind speeds.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

That page struck me as so off the wall . LMAO .

by **Paul** Mon 14 Nov 2022, 9:34 pm

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Greyyowl
903 Posts

Fri, Mar 1 2013 9:39 PM

I was not in any way looking to stir any trouble, it just looked a harsh reply and yes you did assist.
BUT, 2 things before you call his question naive.
I can go an pull any number of repititive threads about howWGT rips members of, about how the balls are too pricey, about how Ready Go comps are being won by cheats etc etc etc.......................... is there a rason those posters do not search the system for the topic?
And I believe there are some 6,000,000 members of WGT, are they all old hands or are some newbies who may not now to go search before asking simple questions? And you know damn well that there is a solid core on forum posters who leave one line hints and tips to a gazillion querys.
Nobody asked you to reply to it amigo, you could have just as easily shut the door as you strolled past the post.
Yours sincrely,
The Owl ( one of some 6,000,000 members)
And yes, I was irritated by your curt reply.
It happens. I too could have shut he door as I strolled past.
Have a nice day, I am done commenting.

-------------------------------------------------

2013 and the forums already had a reputation .

by **Paul** Wed 16 Nov 2022, 10:16 am

TRANSPARENCY

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pdb1

9,823 Posts

Wed, Jun 15 2016 5:57 AM

pdb1:
Hello . My name is Paul . If nothing else . You will know every reason I ever do anything . I will never keep you guessing or leave you hanging .
Creating and running the Valley of the SUN Casual Club Country Club has been and is a pet love or venture or hobby of the highest caliber . The opportunity and privilege is one that I will be able to take the finest and happiest of memories as a highlight of my life .
Here I am able to be completely transparent . That you can bet on .
The pleasures and gratifications are massive and are so positive on such a consistent basis it is almost unreal . To be able to share with so many gr8 people all of their accomplishments and records and stats and incredible personal performances is mostly what i do . 99% of the time . No mistake about it . Evidenced by the 100's and thousands of accolades and thank yous and awards and rewards and trophies that is such a big part of my enjoyment here .
To be able to be a big part of providing the place for many to have the very best experience they can in WGT as they struggle and fight and scratch and get frustrated and learn and improve and get joy and satisfaction and pride and success . Is such a rush . I cannot begin to describe in words my gratitude for having been able to be part of so many incredible moments and victories and accomplishments .
I try though . On a steady basis . I never falter . I continue to encourage and lead . Even when i feel like I am the only one here almost . I still know i am on the right track . I still PM message a player that turns in a score of 50 in the brackets . I tell them what a gr8 example of a gr8 member that cares about the CC and the protocol and has the confidence and dedication to complete that round . That members high scores makes them as good as or better than any other member ( because they posted that high score ) . So happy to have all of the diversity we have . It is not about winning here . Wins are very cool and definitely encouraged . It is more about everything it took to get to that point .
I believe my positivity and straight forward detailing everything I see and feel about everything has a highly consistent record . Overall very little negativity . Something I do not apologize for .
Everything I think about for the most part is positive about this CC and every member . Here and behind the scenes . You will not find me having conversations about other members . Unless they are good comments . ( honestly I may have called you all a bunch of idiots once or twice out of frustration ) But I am happy I have hope . I have to leave for work .
dschom5

479 Posts
Wed, Jun 15 2016 12:29 PM

Paul:
Did you eat some magic mushrooms this morning?

Turd
pdb1

9,823 Posts
Wed, Jun 15 2016 1:01 PM

Is that what it was?

by **Paul** Thu 17 Nov 2022, 2:35 am

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JFidanza
1,676 Posts

Sun, Aug 31 2014 11:37 AM

andyson:

If you want to follow "camera forward" you'd need to follow the perspective.

I like it. I've used 'perspective forward' as the base for 'North' and it seems to correspond with the reverse camera angle wind vane direction, Maybe even better that the 'aim forward' method.
'Back to the drawing board..'
I will keep this in mind as I play future games.
----
A point to question would be why is (lets call it) 'perspective camera forward' different from where WGT has place the 'aim forward' axis? How is where the aim forward determined by the programmers, and why do they choose those points?
Another way to word the question is,
"What is the wind pointer using as the axis?" or
"Is the wind vane using the 'aim forward' as the axis?" or "Is the wind vane using 'camera forward' as the axis?"
As andyson has demonstrated, 'camera perspective forward' is different from 'player's aim forward'. What is the wind vane relative to? We know for sure not the mini map.
----
Anyway, good work, everyone. My average is dropping like a starter ball. Any more points are welcome & appreciated.

by **Paul** Thu 17 Nov 2022, 2:38 am

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andyson
6,415 Posts

Fri, Sep 17 2010 5:37 PM

Say you have a 4.0 ft putt that shows 0 slope (flat) on Tournament Speed greens. You hit it with 3.5ft of power and it comes up just short! Costs you a birdie!
The next short putt you decide to give it more power but it lips out on you! Another birdie gone! Damnit!
Next short putt has a sharp break and now you're almost afraid to hit it. You think, I'll hit it harder and take the break out. No, I'll hit it easier and die it in the side of the cup. Short putts on really fast greens can get into your head! You decide to split the difference, miss the ding, and the putt slides by the low side of the cup. You break your mouse.
Sound familiar??
Confidence on short putts is everything. The key is not to miss that first short putt in a round. That means don't miss any.
There's a short putt on the 2nd at Kiawah, to the right of the flag where its a straight putt, that I've come up short on a couple of times. Its 4 to 5 ft and it says 0 slope.
It lies, its really up .44 inches, nearly half an inch, and only because the slope indicator does whole inches and not tenths of an inch. And .5 inches is .5 ft of power on your putter.
Here's a look at that putt on #2 at Kiawah in the panels below. Click on the image for a bigger view.

Panel 1: From the ball to 3.2 ft from the ball the little green triangle is pointing down and slope says 0 in.
Panel 2: I move the aimer just 1 pixel towards the hole and the green triangle flips, it now points up, but still says the slope is 0 inches. This is where the "hidden upslope" begins.
Panel 3: At the hole, says 4 ft and 0 slope. Green triangle is pointing up.
Panel 4: I keep dragging the aimer past the hole, at 5.1 ft I finally get told there's a 1 inch upslope!
Panel 5: I keep dragging the aimer and at 7.2 ft I get told its now a 2 inch upslope!
Below is a side view of the putt that illustrates what's going on with the slope.

That little rise of .44 inches, starting 10 inches in front of the cup, when the ball is rolling its slowest, is a killer.
So, to make more short putts drag the aimer past the pin and look for an upslope. Take these hidden upslopes into consideration when you're facing a short putt on really fast greens and stop leaving them short!
P.S. This also works to find hidden downslopes, which can cause the ball to roll too fast and cause lip outs or long comeback putts.

by **Paul** Thu 17 Nov 2022, 2:46 am

andyson
6,415 Posts

Sat, Aug 16 2014 7:28 AM

OPY wants in! It took him a while to smuggle the photo past the guards....here it is.
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9,041 Posts

Sat, Aug 16 2014 8:09 AM

Fookin funny Andy, love the trabs,My cell wasn't as clean or wide ....
if I cud sort fotoshop, be banned much quicker ! '))

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opyeuclid
6,659 Posts

Sat, Aug 16 2014 10:57 AM

Mr July .
Likes :
Looking out the cell window and daydreaming about long walks along the shore at Kiawah looking for lost golf balls .
Playing a game with friends when the Warden lets me use the computer .
The green Jello we get on Fridays .
Dislikes :
3 putts ,
Trouble makers ,
late night cell checks .

by **Paul** Thu 17 Nov 2022, 2:54 am

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DaddysKat
3,554 Posts

Mon, Aug 11 2014 12:37 PM

Beryman:
i will take Kat and her knowledge.... and with her calculator and personality it is a no lose situation!

Last year I played at a private course that requires you to have a fore-caddy.
The idiot I got stuck with was cute ... it's just he didn't know squat about the course. Any time I asked him a question outside the obvious, he would pull out his yardage book. The thing was, I bought a yardage book in the pro shop before the round.
He was more of a walking golf cart than a caddy. And I had to pay for him to lug my clubs around. At the end of the round I gave him a tip ... "learn the course and be prepared for questions" along with $10. He was a bit pissed that I didn't give him more.
I would have rather had a golf cart! Probably would have given me more insightful advice too than the pinhead I got stuck with.

by **Paul** Thu 17 Nov 2022, 3:00 am

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Lyrac
177 Posts

Thu, Jan 3 2013 3:59 PM

Ducati916: dragging this up again

Ducati916:
I guess the question to WGT would be...do you think the current set up is locked in place, or, are you still watching and plan further modifications to it.

WGTpizza
Nothing is set in stone. This thread is now locked, feel free to "drag this up" again in a new thread.

Stay classy,
-WGTpizza

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Yeah, locking down a legit thread with so so many cheated legit players making their points and expressing their concerns about a system they see as flawed, that's REAL classy that is. Still, nothing short of what we have come to expect of late.
So. IS anything being done perpy mr pizza, or is the whole subject locked down and we just have to up put with it?
Feel free to lock this one down too if you don't wish to not prove my point.

" />

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WGTpizza
1,656 Posts

Thu, Jan 3 2013 4:05 PM

Lyrac:

Yeah, locking down a legit thread with so so many cheated legit players making their points and expressing their concerns about a system they see as flawed, that's REAL classy that is. Still, nothing short of what we have come to expect of late.
So. IS anything being done perpy mr pizza, or is the whole subject locked down and we just have to up put with it?
Feel free to lock this one down too if you don't wish to not prove my point.

Boy, someone has a bee in their bonnet!
Hello Lyrac, thanks for continuing the thread in order to keep things clear. Not sure why "locking down a legit thread" would be a bad thing, you're welcome to review the thread at length, and you were invited to start a new thread with the same subject.
When moderators lock a thread, it can be because it breaks a forum guideline, or to help compensate for the incomprehensive technology available to us, or for no reason at all. The reason for that thread being locked is to keep communication clear.
To answer the question you are posing in this thread: "Is anything being done perpy mr pizza, or is the whole subject locked down and we just have to put up with it?"
The answer I have already given to the person who asked the question in the previous thread: Nothing is set in stone. We are constantly reviewing all of our products and features and making changes. I am not locking threads to stop communication. I'm sorry if you feel that way, please accept my invitation to continue this conversation as you see fit.
For anyone who wants to catch up on the thread and continue a conversation about it, here is a direct link

Stay classy,
-WGTpizza
Lyrac
177 Posts Thu, Jan 3 2013 4:26 PM
boy someone has a bee in their bonnet?
Are you serious? is this the way they show you to communicate with your customers?
I don't think I'm a stranger to that particular locked down thread and i don't think you think that either but yet you consistently and stubbornly persist in pretending to not understand the wealth and volume of feeling expressed by the customers who validate their points with their whole hearts and sensible sounding (because i dont either know how you could impliment them) ideas on how to achieve a better system.
I dont got an answer myself because thats not what i do, I just verify property boundaries for a living, but I still do remember the love i had for this game, and remember how proud i felt as i slowly knocked teeny bits off my average towards what i saw as my pinnacle in this game- making legend how ever body else had to. You took that pride away and gave me some scuzzy 2nd rate legend status that i hadn't yet earned and i think thats what you dont get in any way, shape or form-the fact that I now can only play tiers below me by agreement that i win, because friends and strangers alike dont want to be tipped up into the next tier.
I hope you feel good about that because i sure don't. when they made you, didn't no one think about putting in a heart to your breast?
WGTpizza
1,656 Posts Thu, Jan 3 2013 4:37 PM

Lyrac:

boy someone has a bee in their bonnet?
Are you serious? is this the way they show you to communicate with your customers?

Absolutely not. This is how I communicate to the community I belong to. You should know by now I am not a cashier at a register. I have opinions, and you will hear about them. I apologize if you were offended by my "bee bonnet" comment, however your sarcastic comments about "Class" was not very appropriate, either. Let's both be nicer to each other, how about it?

Lyrac:
You took that pride away

Lyrac, there is something very important you should take from this thread - I AM NOT WGT. I am a guy who facilitates communication between the company and it's community.
In this thread, you have a lot of questions aimed directly at me. If you would like to discuss what you have typed here, feel free to accept my friend request and we can chat
I will not have a 2 person conversation in a public forum, out of respect for the thousands of other players reading them, and to make sure people are getting the information they need when they come to the forums looking to learn about the subject this thread was originally about. I look forward to talking with you

Stay classy,
-WGTpizza

by **Paul** Thu 17 Nov 2022, 3:09 am

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Kenher01
1,151 Posts

Wed, Mar 22 2017 1:11 AM

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by **Paul** Thu 17 Nov 2022, 3:12 am

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gonfission
2,046 Posts

Tue, Mar 21 2017 3:57 PM

drmoose:
You are an apparently well educated and travelled individual

Nah, I'm just some hick that can play the Shiznick out "O" dis har bee aaan jo
whon or twi, I get's me one of dem dar, I Piph an knees. So's I strummms it on out, to see how it gunna sound.
Ain't no tang.
Now's youse guts me tah tankin, bout dat dear Banana tang. Eyes is gunna mosey yonda, an do sum cypherin, likes I dooooos.
Banana, cud be duh ansah two dat dear, you knee fieing teeery tang
eyesa gun rite oop wun dem Eee Quaa shuns
Eyes bees bac suuun, wid whun dem, kwon tumm Mee can eye kul, like wrtightins

drmoose:
possessed of an intrinsic ( or what some may call an ascerbic ) sense

Taint no need O kallin nahms at meees, I wahhshes in dah rivva whun a munth,jes lyke
evee whun ess...
opyeuclid
6,659 Posts Tue, Mar 21 2017 4:11 PM
5,7,10rt
gonfission
2,046 Posts Tue, Mar 21 2017 5:38 PM

drmoose:
the correct answer is " Banana "

Well Doc, I took your inspiration and put it in action. Tried as hard as I could.
Unfortunately, when the Bumble bee smells Pi, it's all over.
So just put the lime in the coconut, and call me in the morning.
As a student of Einstein, Tesla, and the new contemporaries, I can not duplicate the effect above, expecting a different outcome, as I then Shirley would succumb to insanity.
Insanity is my fuel. Normality is the catalyst...
The secrets out why I'm here...
dyerbr
601 Posts Tue, Mar 21 2017 6:22 PM
He did say disappear , never mentioned anything about typing.
drmoose
3,507 Posts Tue, Mar 21 2017 6:34 PM

gonfission:
The secrets out why I'm here.

Nows, I's been known to talk a lil' shuck an' jive, iffin' it's all in good fun, jessiree. An' iffin' that truly is your secret fo' bein' here, then ya'll just carry on an' pay me no nevermind. I'd be mighty humbled t' jest set back, unlax, an' chill wit' a 'nuther of them mighty fine downtown concox shuns right here in NY, I fergit, oh yeah," Manhootens" or some such.
Doc:)
gonfission
2,046 Posts Tue, Mar 21 2017 7:04 PM
Dissy heeya is da guug stuuuff. Taint no alkee haul in yoe nawthen con wissskee
Con, sugga, Mo lass iss, yeastyss, an yall be blinded up day ya
Po old Popcon dun passed into the lightnin his seff a spell ago
Bes ole Smokey White lightnin rond the holler he dun cooked up

by **Paul** Thu 17 Nov 2022, 3:25 am

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pmm711
5,131 Posts

Tue, Feb 28 2017 10:17 PM

To WGT and locking LET'S BE HONEST...
You took a little piece of us all when you locked that thread. And we feed your azzes.

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alosso
20,816 Posts

Tue, Feb 28 2017 10:52 PM

It was justfied - read the Guidelines - first keyword.
It wasn't justified towards Rich though to abuse the thread for that subject.
These users took a piece from us and deserve the Boo!

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HenryKawa
1,670 Posts

Wed, Mar 1 2017 6:55 AM

Sorry Rich, that your thread is locked.
Maybe if we ask nicely they will unlock it.
Happy St. David's Day everyone. Happy March 1st.
HENRY KAWA TRIP UPDATE: I am at a friends place in Phoenix. We are going to a Spring Training Baseball game today. Rangers and Angels at Tempe Diablo Stadium. Wanna see the big bad Rangers, since my team, the Toronto Blue Jays, knocked them out of the playoffs two years in a row. LOL.
Anyone near Phoenix, let me know and we can get together for a coffee. I will be here for 3 or 4 days before moving on to Lake Havasu, So far on this, my journey across the USA, no one has taken me up on my offer for meet. I will even BUY. I was hoping to meet at least one of you so you can see that Henry is actually a pretty nice guy (and maybe pass it on to everyone else, especially to the people who still hate me).

gonfission
2,046 Posts

Wed, Mar 1 2017 7:10 AM

alosso:
It wasn't justified towards Rich though to abuse the thread for that subject

Rich was the first one to agree with the political narrative of the video. He was a USER. Are you referring to him as well? TRUTH!
Almost positive, that's why he did not complain about the closure, being part of it and all. His prerogative. TRUTH!

alosso:
These users

The people, took nothing, from anyone. Your accusatory statements are spiteful.
Looking back, A water foul, gave a warning to a wayward traveler. HUMOR.
Because it was pointed at what some consider, a villain, it was acceptable. Plus it was innocuous HUMOR.
Then the travelers vacation route was pointed out. HUMOR. Innocuous HUMOR.
Again, a trickster, jokester, mostly always HUMOROUS, warns traveler of dangers. Again, with HUMOR!
Then the sun rises. With a direct follow up statement, not pointing at any one particular person. A generalization. Truth!
From what I see, he has become the replacement for all the slings and arrows, ( NO PROBLEMS AT ALL WITH THOSE) that were headed north, at one time. ACCEPTABLE??? Truth!
By the rat pack apparently, yes. Truth!
The water foul notices, a statement that could be taken out of context, ( and was), and asks the sun, to stop shining so brightly. I think that was actually HELP, towards the sun, to be careful. Truth!
Then the sun reports, on reporting. Truth!
Then a video, containing a GLOBE full of truth, was entered. TRUTH!
Thread originator, AGREES. 1st one. His thread. TRUTH!
A soccer ball rolls in, and agrees as well, relieved, he is not alone. TRUTH!
The sun rises again, walks the edge, pisses me off, ( ASHAMED ), albeit, statement made, TRUTH!
Well educated, clarified baseball cap, blows in. States his, ( and many others ) OPINION, and declares his conviction. TRUTH!
The sun rises again, and has an eclipse. In my mind. I did not get it. In his own mind, TRUTH!
The predator pack leader, shows up. Purposely missing the Iaarft, or what ever that nonsense was. TRUTH!.
Patch Adams shows up, and as usual, uses HUMOR, to get things back to, WGT NORMALITY. What a hoot. Good on him. TRUTH!
The soccer ball rolls in again, to let every one involved know, He just wants Peace and harmony, the way it used to be. Truth!
I appear, and specifically point out a persons statement, that drives my kind utterly angry. I see my error, towards the OP's thread intrusion, even thought I stated the TRUTH, of my anger towards one person, not an out of bounds topic. I remove my thoughts, as to NOT be harangued, misinterpreted, deliberately gnawed on upon. TRUTH!
Apparently, the truth, which is what the thread, was initially about, was to much to handle for some intolerant people.
All roses and lollipops for the complainers, in their infinitesimal world. As usual, they bring their pack like behavior & put down the majority, that speak their truth.
Mr. Mustacheeeo, returns, is horrified, at what he thinks he created, ( not so ) and apologizes, unnecessarily, for posting, the TRUTH!
Low & behold, vroom, vroom, "the leader of the pack", a song, returns.
Thread closes. TRUTH!
Point your boot in the direction it belongs. Intolerance towards others, because they don't align themselves with you, is intolerable.
Not one single poster in that ensemble was posting intolerance, until ONE cheese smelling vermin arrived.
Good luck with him, and your misdirected insinuating remarks to the USERS.
After all, all in fun, right? ;-)))

by **Paul** Thu 17 Nov 2022, 3:28 am

Premed
776 Posts Wed, Mar 1 2017 7:59 AM

craigswan:

Let's celebrate st davids day .
An Irishman walks into a bar in Dublin .......... etc

Left me a bit puzzled. Not really in love with jokes based on national stereotypes but this one is fairly harmless, however as St Davids Day is a Welsh thing & not an Irish thing (we have St Patrick's day) I failed to make the connection. So to help fix the post here are some national stereotype Welsh jokes.
A matter of life and death
Dai was watching a Six Nations game in Cardiff.
In the packed stadium there was only one empty seat, right next to him.
“Whose is that seat?” asked a man in the row behind.
“I got the ticket for my wife,” said Dai. “But she died in an accident.”
“So you’re keeping the seat vacant as a mark of respect?”
“No,” said the fan, “I offered it to all of my friends.”
“So why didn’t they take it?”
“They’ve all gone to the funeral.”
(ps Ireland gonna thrash Wales on the 10th March)
Knocking on Heaven's Door
Warren Gatland and Stuart Lancaster are both killed when a lightning bolt hits the Millennium Stadium.
In heaven, they are greeted by God and Lancaster is taken to his new home, a lovely English country cottage with statues of English rugby greats and angels singing Jerusalem and Swing Low, Sweet Chariot.
He was delighted until he suddenly heard some even more beautiful singing coming from the top of the hill. He listened closer and could hear Bread of Heaven and Hen Wlad fy Nhadau.
He looked up to see a great palace with statues of Barry John and Gareth Edwards and a party in the garden had Brains SA flowing freely as the crowd watched Scott Gibbs scoring his try against England in 1999. Lancaster went to the Lord and said: “I don’t want to appear ungrateful - but why does Warren get the huge mansion?”
God said: “You’ve got it all wrong! That’s not Warren’s place - it’s mine.”
That's a long name
I used to go out with a Welsh girl that had 36DDs. It was a ridiculously long name.
We're not saying the Welsh are tight, but...
Jones the farmer and his son Berwyn sign up for a sight-seeing tour in a small aircraft. As always, Jones angles for the best deal possible.
“Very well, Mr Jones,” says the pilot. “If you can go through the entire flight without making a sound, you and Berwyn can have your tickets for free.” So the plane takes off and the pilot makes sure it’s a rough one, launching almost straight up, flying under the Severn Bridge, using every single bit of acrobatics in his repertoire and doing a loop at the end. Jones says nothing. After they land, the pilot turns to Jones in disbelief.
“Mr Jones, I’ve been doing this for 20 years and no-one’s ever been able to hold back from screaming. Tell me, was there ever a point in the flight where you wanted to say something?”
“Aye,” Jones replies. “When Berwyn fell out.”
Don't come between a Welshman and his ale
An Englishman, Scotsman and Welshman walk into a bar. Each orders a pint of Brain’s but, as they’re served, a fly lands in each pint.
The Englishman immediately pushes his beer away in disgust.
The Scotsman thinks for a few seconds, shrugs, and also pushes the pint away.
The Welshman turns bright red, picks the fly out of the beer and holds it over his glass shouting: “SPIT IT OUT! SPIT IT OUT!”
Not the easiest place for an affair
My wife asked me if I was having an affair with a woman from Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwyllllatysiliogogogoch.
I said: “How can you say such a thing?”
No hard feelings...
A Welshman, Scot and Englishman are walking when they come across a lantern and a genie pops out and grants them one wish each.
The Scot says: “I am a sheep herder, like my dad before me. I want my country to be full of lovely sheep farms.” Whoosh, and so it was.
The Englishman was amazed and says: “I want a wall around England to keep those damned Scots and Welsh out.” Bang, there was a wall around England.
The Welshman says: “Tell me more about this wall.”
The genie says: “It’s 200 feet high, 100 feet thick, it goes all around England, and nothing can get in or out.”
The Welshman says: “Fill it with water.”

by **Paul** Thu 17 Nov 2022, 3:30 am

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ZioMio
4,680 Posts

Wed, Mar 1 2017 8:22 AM

craigswan:
If anyone has a problem with me and my posts just say here up front and I will disappear.

I do ... now keep your word and I should not have to read/see another post from you.

9,041 Posts

Wed, Mar 1 2017 9:18 AM

ZioMio:

craigswan:
If anyone has a problem with me and my posts just say here up front and I will disappear.

I do ... now keep your word and I should not have to read/see another post from you.

You did ask the question Craig ...
Point is...are you a man of your word ?
I and others will find out soon.
Andy

by **Paul** Thu 17 Nov 2022, 3:34 am

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renniw52
5,385 Posts

Sun, Apr 23 2017 4:18 PM

Henry-Craig, please don't take me wrong. I have not lost my sense of humor or my love of my friends. My original post that ran so long was meant for one reason. Anyone who Honestly wanted to let other members know them had a chance to do so. We got to know a lot about many folks on here. The thread got hijacked and turned into a joke. When it went over the edge completely WGT pulled it. Lot's of memories gone forever. This new thread has taken the same course and it won't be long until someone says something that will get it pulled. You all make comments and post funny videos that we all like. This just was not the thread to do that on. No hard feelings. I am by far not one of the greatest players on WGT. If someone is then they do not advertise it constantly. Stop, think before you start posting. Where should this little joke or video be posted. It's on the or not, not the Let's Be Honest.
Renni- Out on this thread.

by **Paul** Sat 19 Nov 2022, 7:50 am

This is a work in progress . there will be more .

by **Paul** Sat 19 Nov 2022, 8:09 am

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ChronicDiarrhea
539 Posts

Sat, Mar 4 2017 11:30 PM

We are a Christ-following Country Club looking to increase our membership of saved or sincere seekers. We are a level 15 Club looking to advance to level 16 soon. We have openings for several new members who desire to play this game and have Christian fellowship. Please check us out and bring your friends!
Saved by Grace - Ephesians 2:8
+++Praise Him+++
-Scott

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lonniescott711
4,154 Posts

Sun, Mar 5 2017 10:24 AM

Premed:

I am intrigued by he notion of a club that requires its members to be "saved".

Why there`s a real dating site that does it . Christian Mingle is a real live dating site that is set up to bring christian men and women together . A Band of Brothers recruits military veterans for their country club and I think there`s a club for women only as well if Im not mistaken . So a club to bring fellow christians together in the game whats wrong with that ?

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PSUTOM
188 Posts

Sun, Mar 5 2017 10:31 AM

I was saved once when my first wife divorced me,

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Jimbog1964
8,378 Posts

Sun, Mar 5 2017 1:41 PM

Oh my golly gosh..........................Hmmmmmmmmm...... Smile

I wish IHGN all the very best for those that want that. Hmmm...Saved,,,hmmmmm. Politely the OP should realise religion is not really for here...some also good thinkers don't go for it, but also have rules imposed ................

Maybe stick to referencing sincere thinkers of a certain ilk (edit : guess saying christian based they might let through but not my shout), but drop the drop the saved / bible quotes bit and " saved " is argued over even within...Folks can discuss that within the walls if it's their thing.....hmmm enough Smile

........

I am not sure the thread will last too long without doing something that way if you know what I mean

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ChronicDiarrhea
539 Posts

Sun, Mar 5 2017 10:55 PM

WOW! There goes another innocent post in the Forum

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txzdave
1,316 Posts

Sun, Mar 5 2017 11:34 PM

*** Curse those you need to. ***.
Fuckit.

txzdave
1,316 Posts

Sun, Mar 5 2017 11:45 PM

gimme an f.....gimme that u......gimme a c........Wait,    I like fu que. OK....gimme a k!
                   What's my smell? What's that spell!
           whate'er. Ain't the funnest ain't worth defending.
                               I got a hair cut and feel 10 feet tall.
               See you after my anniversary. Maybe. Gettin' iffy.
              ~talxzdave~

ChronicDiarrhea
539 Posts

Sun, Mar 5 2017 11:53 PM

Thanks Joe, Lonnie, Robert, and the rest for standing with me.
OK, let me tell you about my WGT name. Long before I started my WGT journey I was an authentic American Civil War reenactor and amateur Civil War historian. I read everything I could get my hands on concerning the American Civil War. There is a tremendous amount of information available for research and I really enjoyed learning about the lives of Union and Confederate soldiers. I happened to find some Union Army Official Records and it was a real treasure trove because there was so much detailed information. Browsing the Union Army medical reports I saw a pattern. The #1 physical ailment reported by the soldiers for almost all regiments was - Chronic Diarrhea!
At the time of this discovery of seeing this entry on so many medical reports must have been about the same time I joined up on WGT in 2009. All the good names were already taken so I just went with Chronic Diarrhea. End of story. Years later I conversed with the WGT staff about changing my name and they said I could close my account and rejoin WGT as a newbie. That really didn't sound appealing to me.
Then I became a Christian and asked to join this Country Club, In His Glorious Name. They accepted me without delay, even with this snarky name. Now several years later, the Club ownership was passed to me and I can see the need to recruit new members.
I want to let everyone know that IHGN does NOT require members to be saved. We don't even require members to be Christians. IHGN does not make demands on how our members lead their lives. However, our members do enjoy the Christian environment where we do share Bible scriptures, have Prayer Requests, Christian fellowship, and golf tournaments. I understand this environment is not for everybody and I truly respect that. In no way was there ever any intention to offend anyone. But I will not apologize for being a Christian. By God's grace we are all saved through faith.
I do believe there are Christians in WGT land.

txzdave
1,316 Posts

Mon, Mar 6 2017 12:41 AM

     ChronicShit explains it all. Throw a f'ing dart at a name and ChronicShit ends up on the front row lookin' for a Pew? I love to hate your hypocrisy.
              You prolly have somethin' you can't forgive yourself for.      Here ain't the place to feel better with what you have to deal with. Scott, I hope you are well.
                      Don't worry 'bout me......I know me.
This ain't the place to be contradictory. Step up on the step stool and back off.
             Save this, You don't know saved.
           You've no idea what saved means.
                  4 footers for par...That's a save.
                         Work on yourself elsewhere.
I dance with words and I'm done for now.
             Wouldn't doubt time out.        I blame mine.         Done, Son. ~txzdave~

txzdave
1,316 Posts

Mon, Mar 6 2017 12:58 AM

   And I couldn't care less how wrong I am. I always have been.
                       Whate'er.....
                Yeah, I'm as wrong as I've been. Get Yo self some!

                  whate'er,
    ~txzdave~

Jimbog1964
8,378 Posts

Mon, Mar 6 2017 2:58 AM

txzdave:
4 footers for par...That's a save.

That right there is just a good line, IMHO Smile

..No offense anyone just hit my sense of humour:)

ChronicDiarrhea:
But I will not apologize for being a Christian

Neither should you be ever asked to......Certain branches and some old style beliefs I would hold to particular account in a respectful debating way, but provided they don't bother those that disagree all good really.

ChronicDiarrhea:
By God's grace we are all saved through faith.

That is now a statement of religious conviction in a main forum, and it's a deep subject even within branches of Christendom. Nothing to war over but it's a topic and a half in itself.
What about hobbits for instance. Around, alive and kicking until 12,000 years ago. Some still kicking on as leprechauns, they deserve it all........Light hearted not making fun.

ChronicDiarrhea:
I want to let everyone know that IHGN does NOT require members to be saved

Consider, "does not require everyone to go along with our notion(edit: OK firmly held for whatever reason belief) that such a thing exists".
FWIW and not bloomin much I accept LOL my way of looking would be v much in line with a certain Thomas Jefferson (most days on this and always as regards his constitution input)...By the by, save for statements of belief which are not fact (did I say that save word LOL) good luck to you.

Good luck anyway, but IMO at least enforce that you accept it's your take on things only, and do steer clear of direct quotes ay least (main forums anyway)........

by **Paul** Sat 19 Nov 2022, 8:17 am

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Mox360
50 Posts

Wed, Apr 12 2017 3:29 AM

There may be other color-blindness issues of which I am not aware but my biggest problem is how to tell if players are available to play from the colored ball icons.
Might I suggest that the colored balls for unavailable players (hidden/busy) have a black "/" or "X" overlay. This should not affect fully color-sighted players but would improve my game experience as a red/green c/b sufferer.
ScottHope
8,933 Posts Wed, Apr 12 2017 10:56 AM
If any of these colour combinations work for you Mox, I may be able to help you. Number 1 won't, as that's the standard colour, but there might be a chance with the others.

Windows 10 has some built in options for colour blind users. See HERE.
mrcaddie
2,429 Posts Wed, Apr 12 2017 5:47 PM

ScottHope:
If any of these colour combinations work for you Mox, I may be able to help you.

Wonderful gesture Scott...very nice of you to take the time to help Mox out like that and help him find a way to enjoy the game.
Well played!
MC
ScottHope
8,933 Posts Thu, Apr 13 2017 1:11 AM
Cheers MrC, I'd never even thought before about how being colour blind would affect users of this site and I have to admit, I felt compelled to do something. : )
@Mox, if you use a Windows PC have you tried using Windows magnifier to invert the screen colours. It does make everything look a bit weird, but it's easy to switch it on and off so that might be a neat solution if it works.
craigswan
26,493 Posts Thu, Apr 13 2017 2:37 AM
We use ishihara colour blindness test for work . This test can be completed online . Only for combinations of red and green I believe .
Called the CVD test .
craigswan
26,493 Posts Thu, Apr 13 2017 2:38 AM
WigerToods2010
8,218 Posts Thu, Apr 13 2017 4:31 AM
Yet another reach out and help offer from Mr. Hope.
I know you're no limelight seeker, Scott, but have to say you are an absolute star in this virtual golf world. Well done you once again.
Hopefully the OP will find your efforts useful as they travel the fairways and... blues.
:-)
RoggRR
537 Posts Thu, Apr 13 2017 4:41 AM
One of my friends is daltonist, he can see black, white and grey colors only.
Scott, if you convert that into grey, then u can see how daltonists seeing it.
I think, the better option is to put a little black or white dot in the middle of the green and blue lights (or \ x, as mox says)
ScottHope
8,933 Posts Thu, Apr 13 2017 7:47 AM
@Johnny, I'm sure that most people who have a little extra knowledge about something are willng to put it to good use to help others. Many members here are so keen to offer assistance with their knowledge about the game and your graphics skills are very much appreciated by many.. I'm just a bit more biased towards the forum I guess. Thank you.
@Rogg, If I could do something to the status lights, I would. But I don't have the skills to target the individual elements in a flash window. I can't see that WGT will ever do anything about it either, but you never know. Maybe if the game ever moves from flash to another format, something may be possible, but currently I think we're a bit stuck.
Andy, do you have a ouija board up there? : )
Mox360
50 Posts Thu, Apr 13 2017 11:58 AM
Thanks for your interest Scott. Option 6 seems to have the best contrasts for my circumstances. As you have hinted at in a later post, my current method of zooming in to maximum does increase the amount of colour I can detect but is not always perfect.

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ScottHope
8,933 Posts

Fri, Apr 14 2017 1:21 AM

Thanks for getting back to us Mox. Changing the colour of the status lights does involve installing an extension into your browser, and the success of that depends on what browser you use.

But before we go further with that, do you think inverting the screen colours would help, as this is easier to do than the extension thing?

If you currently use Windows magnifier for zooming in, you can turn on colour inversion by clicking the gear wheel (options) on the Windows magnifier dialogue box and putting a tick in the colour inversion box.
If you don't use the magnifier, it can be fired up by pressing the Windows key and the '+' key. Then you can turn on the colour inversion as I described above.

If that doesn't work for you Mox, then we'll have to try the browser extension route.

The browser extension is also able to invert the PLAY NOW area colour by applying a filter to it.
Mox360
50 Posts Fri, Apr 14 2017 7:16 AM
Thanks again Scott. the colour inversion solution seems to work perfectly. I was not aware it was as easily accessible.
As an aside, thanks also for your pro shop equipment spreadsheet. Extremely useful.
ScottHope
8,933 Posts Fri, Apr 14 2017 9:51 AM
I'm very glad to hear that works for you Mox, have a great Easter and thank you very much for the compliments about the spreadsheet. : )
JFidanza
1,676 Posts Fri, Apr 14 2017 10:38 AM

WigerToods2010:

Yet another reach out and help offer from Mr. Hope.
I know you're no limelight seeker, Scott, but have to say you are an absolute star in this virtual golf world. Well done you once again.

+1 !!
ScottHope
8,933 Posts Fri, Apr 14 2017 1:21 PM
Thank you JF. ; )

@Mox, if you're still reading this thread, I forgot to mention the keyboard shortcut for turning Windows magnifier off, it's the Windows key and the 'Esc' key, cheers.
Beryman
9,031 Posts Fri, Apr 14 2017 1:59 PM
well done Scott, you are a star !!
this is a thread that should be pinned like we do in club forums
ScottHope
8,933 Posts Fri, Apr 14 2017 2:14 PM
Thank you Bery. I'm not sure how many people would find it useful, but I could put a link on my profile page so it can be found again.
ScottHope
8,933 Posts Sat, May 6 2017 1:55 PM
Just posting this to see if it will help a friend with the putting grid colours.

I know it makes the whole game look very strange, but using the browser dev tools to find a colour combination that makes the colours of the putting grid visible, could be worth the time invested, and once set to the desired colour, can easily be switched on and off just for the putt.
weetabix7
496 Posts Sat, May 6 2017 2:21 PM
Awesome Scott, It would help a lot. With the current game colours its hard for me to see any difference but with some of the colour combinations you are using it makes a big difference to see what is happening with the elevation.
ScottHope
8,933 Posts Sun, May 7 2017 8:40 AM

weetabix7:
Awesome Scott.....

Cheers Shaun. Following on from our PM's, here's a link to the browser extension that I mentioned. STYLUS. If you scroll down to the bottom of the page you'll find a link for a Chrome install.

I'll probably have to get back to you tomorrow with regards to configuring it for changing the colours in the game client, but by all means have a play around with it if you're like me and you like messing about with stuff. ; )

See you later.

by **Paul** Fri 25 Nov 2022, 6:59 pm

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HOR88
3 Posts

Thu, Dec 25 2014 5:04 PM

I was wondering if anyone knew how to get a promo code for the discount credits im a single father of three and could really use it due to shortage of funds. I really really need better equipment. Thank you

2,840 Posts Fri, Dec 26 2014 9:02 AM
I am sorry but we do not have any promo codes. - WGTdbloshoe

alosso
20,819 Posts Fri, Dec 26 2014 12:17 PM
Excuse me,
what is this for?

JimbeauC
5,835 Posts Fri, Dec 26 2014 1:28 PM

HOR88:
I really really need better equipment.

You really, really do. Might want to equip your new driver. It should last you well into TM tier.
Random act of kindness. Hey! It is Christmastime, after all.
:^)

gdog8
1,356 Posts Fri, Dec 26 2014 1:49 PM

JimbeauC:

You really, really do. Might want to equip your new driver. It should last you well into TM tier.
Random act of kindness. Hey! It is Christmastime, after all.
:^)

Very kind Sir a true Gentlemen!
Also check your wedges , Random acts of kindness are contagious and Yes it is Christmastime!
Try to get 3 evenly spaced wedges will greatly help variety of shots you have around green. Should be a Cleveland in there for you , Courtesy of fine fellas over at Bridgestone CC - Cheers-Enjoy

Johnnie1221
28 Posts Fri, Dec 26 2014 3:11 PM
Tried to gift HOR88 a putter. Said invalid name. What can I do? Johnnie1221

JimbeauC
5,835 Posts Fri, Dec 26 2014 4:20 PM

Johnnie1221:
Said invalid name.

I didn't have any trouble with it in all caps. Hmm. Were you sure he was eligible, level wise, for the putter? It could be that WGT's auto responses aren't very sophisticated.

mrcaddie
2,429 Posts Fri, Dec 26 2014 5:15 PM

gdog8:

Also check your wedges , Random acts of kindness are contagious and Yes it is Christmastime!
Try to get 3 evenly spaced wedges will greatly help variety of shots you have around green. Should be a Cleveland in there for you

Hor88-
Check your bag again, there is another Cleveland wedge in there that will work nicely with the one gdog8 sent you.
Happy Holiday!
MC

lonniescott711
4,154 Posts Fri, Dec 26 2014 5:43 PM

mrcaddie:

gdog8:

Also check your wedges , Random acts of kindness are contagious and Yes it is Christmastime!
Try to get 3 evenly spaced wedges will greatly help variety of shots you have around green. Should be a Cleveland in there for you

Hor88-
Check your bag again, there is another Cleveland wedge in there that will work nicely with the one gdog8 sent you.
Happy Holiday!
MC

While you are checking your inventory , look for the new putter too , its in there . With all these other bums giving out stuff I figured I may as well get in on it too . Like they said its Christmas . :-)

lonniescott711
4,154 Posts Fri, Dec 26 2014 6:03 PM
Johnnie1221:
Tried to gift HOR88 a putter. Said invalid name. What can I do? Johnnie1221
Dont worry about it I sent him 1 , mission accomplished . Sorry if I beat you to the punch , move faster next time . :-)

HOR88
3 Posts

Fri, Dec 26 2014 6:03 PM

1

Thank you everyone for your gifts!!!!! I greatly appreciate it so very much. I hope all of you had a wonderful christmas and i look forward to seeing you on the course.
mrcaddie
2,429 Posts Fri, Dec 26 2014 7:43 PM

lonniescott711:
With all these other bums giving out stuff I figured I may as well get in on it too . Like they said its Christmas . :-)

Very nice Lonnie! lmao
JimbeauC
5,835 Posts Fri, Dec 26 2014 9:50 PM
Oh My.
This is so much fun.
JimbeauC
5,835 Posts Sat, Dec 27 2014 8:18 AM
Just took a look at his profile. He has it all equipped and now has a new longest drive.
Very Merry.
Ho Ho Ho!
:^)
JimbeauC
5,835 Posts Sat, Dec 27 2014 2:02 PM

HOR88:
Thank you everyone for your gifts!

You're more than welcome.
Give those kids a few extra hugs from all of us.
gdog8
1,356 Posts Sat, Dec 27 2014 4:44 PM

JimbeauC:

HOR88:
Thank you everyone for your gifts!

You're more than welcome.
Give those kids a few extra hugs from all of us.

+1 and If you have any extra time make sure to hit up the survey's and vids to collect free credits. Save them and you will be surprise how fast they add up. When you reach level 59 I suggest buying the Ping g25 iron set. These are the first set I bought and used all the way up to level 90. They will last all the way up to Legend and beyond and also have high trajectory. When you have credits the level 48 TM Driver is a great club and can be used up to Legend and beyond.
Enjoy them new clubs and have fun ! Lots of good players in your CC, don't hesitate to ask for their help. Other questions type them into search box for answers to many game related questions or start a new thread.
Cheers Mate and Hope your kids and you had a wonderful X-mas!

by **Paul** Fri 25 Nov 2022, 7:13 pm

I GOT MAIL

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pdb1
23,965 Posts

Sun, Apr 17 2016 5:31 PM

I have been anxiously anticipating the arrival of my Easter prize .
YancyCan wrote
" FIRST BUNNY FINDER VIA WGT MOBILE APP:
- pdb1
- Wins the New Easy Eggwich Maker Box ".
Well it has arrived . Happy days !

Thanx Yancy .
Duckster789
534 Posts Mon, Apr 18 2016 11:27 AM
Haha, is it just the box with nothing in it?
opyeuclid
6,660 Posts Mon, Apr 18 2016 6:54 PM
Thank you Team Yancy . I was a lucky winner years ago . I got a box in the mail with a one of a kind pine cone .
OPY
WigerToods2010
8,222 Posts Tue, Apr 19 2016 6:27 AM
Great stuff!
Having received a box of whatnots & such from the Yancyman myself it warms the cockles o' me ole heart to think someone would actually take the time (not forgetting cost) to spread some joy/fun all over the globe.

Now this is a thread that most definitely should get the positive responses/attention it deserves - superb example of a real random act of kindness.
Yer a star(man), Yancy!
PaulTon
10,731 Posts Tue, Apr 19 2016 11:54 AM
All this will be lost, like teardrops in rain if Yancy ever left WGT. He's the top banana.
pdb1
23,965 Posts Tue, Apr 19 2016 12:43 PM

Duckster789:

Haha, is it just the box with nothing in it?

Lol . No it's the real deal .
pdb1
23,965 Posts Tue, Apr 19 2016 12:46 PM
Honestly . This is the first thing i have ever won in my life .
mrcaddie
2,429 Posts Tue, Apr 19 2016 2:03 PM

pdb1:
This is the first thing i have ever won in my life .

Paul,
Are you going to use it? If so, keep us posted with the results.
MC
PaulTon
10,731 Posts Tue, Apr 19 2016 3:04 PM

mrcaddie:

pdb1:
This is the first thing i have ever won in my life .

Paul,
Are you going to use it? If so, keep us posted with the results.
MC

Seconded.
Get those muffins toasted and cook those eggs a la ding. We want pics...
hakman123
2,119 Posts Wed, Apr 20 2016 6:03 AM
I'm wondering just how creative the "Gourmet Recipe booklet" is.
I mean - just how much can you do with a muffin and an egg??
I see the clever serving suggestion to add bacon and/or cheese. Brilliant!
Post us the best recipe Paul

pdb1
23,965 Posts

Wed, Apr 20 2016 8:55 PM

We call it the " CHEESY EGG MC KAREN "
PaulTon
10,731 Posts Thu, Apr 21 2016 12:47 AM
LMAO Paul, great stuff!!
Is you good lady called Karen? Mine is, that would be spooky.
HenryKawa
1,670 Posts Thu, Apr 21 2016 1:01 AM

PaulTon:

LMAO Paul, great stuff!!
Is you good lady called Karen? Mine is, that would be spooky.

This is spooky. Mine is too.
Hello folks. Like my new picture?
HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
pdb1
23,965 Posts Thu, Apr 21 2016 4:20 AM

PaulTon:

LMAO Paul, great stuff!!
Is you good lady called Karen? Mine is, that would be spooky.

Sure is . We been Paul and Karen for goin on 17 years . Lol .
mrcaddie
2,429 Posts Thu, Apr 21 2016 4:07 PM
Thanks for the update Paul, very cool.
BTW....how'd it taste?
MC
pdb1
23,965 Posts Thu, Apr 21 2016 5:47 PM
Pretty damn good . It's one of those " As seen on TV" products that actually works .
PaulTon
10,731 Posts Fri, Apr 22 2016 1:09 AM

HenryKawa:

PaulTon:

LMAO Paul, great stuff!!
Is you good lady called Karen? Mine is, that would be spooky.

This is spooky. Mine is too.

pdb1 is Paul, his partner is called Karen. My name is Paul and my partner is called Karen.
Your name is Henry, you don't matter.
mrcaddie
2,429 Posts Sat, Apr 23 2016 11:23 AM

PaulTon:

pdb1 is Paul, his partner is called Karen. My name is Paul and my partner is called Karen.
Your name is Henry, you don't matter.

Paul,
That last line is priceless! I laughed so hard reading that. Still laughing as I write this.
MC
pdb1
23,965 Posts Sun, Apr 24 2016 11:06 PM

mrcaddie:

Paul,
That last line is priceless! I laughed so hard reading that. Still laughing as I write this.
MC

Both my wife and I love too . lol . Wow his timing is impeccable .
pdb1
23,965 Posts Sun, Apr 24 2016 11:14 PM
I also want to announce that i am the proud recipient of Yancycaan Film Festival's first VOTSCC Promo .
NEW TOUR OF THE VALLEY OF THE SUN C.C.A WGT GOLF COUNTRY CLUB
in the sub forum
YANCYCAAN FILM FESTIVAL
of the forum
VALLEY OF THE FUN
in the main forum
Valley of the Sun C C

CLICK HERE TO SEE PAGES 3-6

by **Paul** Sat 26 Nov 2022, 2:53 pm

1

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WGTalex
2,087 Posts

Fri, Sep 25 2009 1:13 PM

Hi everyone, we published a list of planned product features today that should keep you more informed of new things coming up. We locked it to keep it clean because that is the copy we will update as things change, but we're also posting this thread to allow for discussion. The link is here: http://www.wgt.com/forums/t/5038.aspx
OBSOLETE LINK

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SweetiePie
4,925 Posts

Fri, Sep 25 2009 6:17 PM

Considering the vast nature of improvement suggestions, which have covered everything from aardvark to Zimbabwe, It seems to me you have been able to wittle down to a very exciting set of prospects. I only wish the nebulousity of the implementation time was more specific and less "if come". Otherwise, very snazzy...A+

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tibbets
1,043 Posts

Fri, Sep 25 2009 7:23 PM

All of those things are good and fine, but it's still cart-before-the-horse thinking. Lets see, 30-60 days before implementation, plus another few months to iron out all the kinks. Now we're looking at the middle of 2010 before some of those things work as they should. Meanwhile, changing the pins, which as suggested nearly a year ago and has been called for over and over again, is still not in the works. Lets see, perhaps the end of 2010 before that happens, some 2 years after it was suggested.
But oh yes, by all means, get more ways for us to pay you ASAP. It is pretty clear where the priorities lie. Oh yes, and more CTHH courses, since we have expressed such extreme excitement over that. *rolls eyes*
This game will be in Beta long into 2011, perhaps even 2012. We'll see if it even has any relevance by then.
P.S. as far as the "what we can tell you" goes: This is such a joke. You really do take yourselves far too seriously if you think it's necessary to withhold information about a virtual golf game. Tell your sponsors to get real and stop playing some silly psy-op marketing game.

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BOFFMEN
337 Posts

Fri, Sep 25 2009 8:15 PM

Thanks for the update but who would've thought it would cause Tibbets to finally "jump the shark"...too funny.
regarding feature candidates thumbs up to:

St Andrews stroke play course
Monthly and weekly multi-round tournaments
New outfits for avatars
Reputation tracking –see multiplayer game completion rates for every player
Ability to enter a reason for declining a multiplayer game invitation
“My Tournaments” section in player profile – track your status and standings in tournaments
Leaderboards for game statistics
ability to save and share scorecards
Additional balls and clubs

Ace6190
4 Posts

Mon, Oct 12 2009 11:54 AM

Tibbets I would think some one like you who has been successful at playing the game would be all behind WGT considering its FREE. But I see you also think WGT owes us something for just playing the game.
I disagree with your thinking and opinion that WGT is so greedy if they were so greedy we would all be paying to play .I say give them a chance to produce than to degrade them every time they make a attempt to make the game better. If you have so many problems with how they have produced the game why do you play in the first place just to run them down? You should also consider you are at the top of the winnings and you words do have effect because lots of members look up to you but for myself I have lost respect for you just because of your posts taking cheep shots at WGT your crappy attitude is really a disappointment. In my opinion they should remove every post you have made that is negative which would be most of them. For them of you that can only complain and throw fits find a better golf game no one is forcing any of you to play and your constant complaining make you all look like a bunch of whiners ... want some cheese with that.

Thanks WGT for the effort you have put into this free game no matter what they say in the forum please know that many of us do truly appreciate your efforts and we thank you.. keep up the good work

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iowankid
57 Posts

Mon, Oct 12 2009 1:54 PM

Ace6190, please step back and take a deep breath. Some people on here have been waiting longer than July 13th of this year for some of their issues to be resolved. I think that WGt realizes that some people are ok doinking around with free clubs and stuff, and others would like to see it be even better. They seem to take critisism and try and fit it in with their priorities (which doesn't always fit in with our priorities), so they get feedback from time to time. It's ok, noone can make them do anything that they dont plan on doing, but we can tell them that we are not happy that they didn't do it.
Oh, and since you brought it up, the game is only free if you let it be free. I believe that you would enjoy the game a bunch more by spending some of your allowance on upgrades (clubs and balls (never mind, I see that you already bought some...so much for free)).
Enjoy the ride, no matter which lane you are in.
Later bud,
Rich

<^*><^*><^*><^*><^*>

IN 2009 THIS THREAD WAS LOCKED ON THE 9th PAGE .

by **Paul** Wed 07 Dec 2022, 7:08 am

I found this on a WGTers wall .

"Today you.... tomorrow me."

This is a post from a website I go on, http://www.reddit.com, by user rhoner, about someone who went out of his way to help him when he was in need. One of the greatest stories I've read in a long time. From 2010.
---------------

Just about every time I see someone I stop. I kind of got out of the habit in the last couple of years, moved to a big city and all that, my girlfriend wasn't too stoked on the practice. Then some *** happened to me that changed me and I am back to offering rides habitually. If you would indulge me, it is long story and has almost nothing to do with hitch hiking other than happening on a road.
This past year I have had 3 instances of car trouble. A blow out on a freeway, a bunch of blown fuses and an out of gas situation. All of them were while driving other people's cars which, for some reason, makes it worse on an emotional level. It makes it worse on a practical level as well, what with the fact that I carry things like a jack and extra fuses in my car, and know enough not to park, facing downhill, on a steep incline with less than a gallon of fuel.
Anyway, each of these times this *** happened I was DISGUSTED with how people would not bother to help me. I spent hours on the side of the freeway waiting, watching roadside assistance vehicles blow past me, for AAA to show. The 4 gas stations I asked for a gas can at told me that they couldn't loan them out "for my safety" but I could buy a really shitty 1-gallon one with no cap for $15. It was enough, each time, to make you say *** like "this country is going to hell in a handbasket."
But you know who came to my rescue all three times? Immigrants. Mexican immigrants. None of them spoke a lick of the language. But one of those dudes had a profound affect on me.
He was the guy that stopped to help me with a blow out with his whole family of 6 in tow. I was on the side of the road for close to 4 hours. Big jeep, blown rear tire, had a spare but no jack. I had signs in the windows of the car, big signs that said NEED A JACK and offered money. No dice. Right as I am about to give up and just hitch out there a van pulls over and dude bounds out. He sizes the situation up and calls for his youngest daughter who speaks english. He conveys through her that he has a jack but it is too small for the Jeep so we will need to brace it. He produces a saw from the van and cuts a log out of a downed tree on the side of the road. We rolled it over, put his jack on top, and bam, in business. I start taking the wheel off and, if you can believe it, I broke his tire iron. It was one of those collapsible ones and I wasn't careful and I snapped the head I needed clean off. ***.
No worries, he runs to the van, gives it to his wife and she is gone in a flash, down the road to buy a tire iron. She is back in 15 minutes, we finish the job with a little sweat and cussing (stupid log was starting to give), and I am a very happy man. We are both filthy and sweaty. The wife produces a large water jug for us to wash our hands in. I tried to put a 20 in the man's hand but he wouldn't take it so I instead gave it to his wife as quietly as I could. I thanked them up one side and down the other. I asked the little girl where they lived, thinking maybe I could send them a gift for being so awesome. She says they live in Mexico. They are here so mommy and daddy can pick peaches for the next few weeks. After that they are going to pick cherries then go back home. She asks if I have had lunch and when I told her no she gave me a tamale from their cooler, the best *** tamale I have ever had.
So, to clarify, a family that is undoubtedly poorer than you, me, and just about everyone else on that stretch of road, working on a seasonal basis where time is money, took an hour or two out of their day to help some strange dude on the side of the road when people in tow trucks were just passing me by. Wow...
But we aren't done yet. I thank them again and walk back to my car and open the foil on the tamale cause I am starving at this point and what do I find inside? My *** $20 bill! I whirl around and run up to the van and the guy rolls his window down. He sees the $20 in my hand and just shaking his head no like he won't take it. All I can think to say is "Por Favor, Por Favor, Por Favor" with my hands out. Dude just smiles, shakes his head and, with what looked like great concentration, tried his hardest to speak to me in English:
"Today you.... tomorrow me."
Rolled up his window, drove away, his daughter waving to me in the rear view. I sat in my car eating the best *** tamale of all time and I just cried. Like a little girl. It has been a rough year and nothing has broke my way. This was so out of left field I just couldn't deal.
In the 5 months since I have changed a couple of tires, given a few rides to gas stations and, once, went 50 miles out of my way to get a girl to an airport. I won't accept money. Every time I tell them the same thing when we are through:
"Today you.... tomorrow me."

by **Paul** Thu 08 Dec 2022, 2:35 am

ScottHope
8,990 Posts

Thu, Dec 8 2022 1:12 AM

I think it started after the last update, Gillian. There's another downtime due mid December, so they may fix it then, but your avatar might have no head after this one! 8 )

by **Paul** Thu 08 Dec 2022, 12:21 pm

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mrcaddie
2,429 Posts

Mon, Feb 6 2017 8:42 AM

PaulTon,

Just a quick, belated update...as stated previously, the player I got teamed up with in the matchplay section of your tournament doesn't live too far from me and I finally got to meet my nemesis, who so solidly handed me my hat in your Andyson Memorial Tournament, in real life.
It is still a little too cold to play outside here in New England, but we managed to play a round at an indoor golf simulator facility two days ago and we had a blast.
Thanks to you Paul, I now have a new indoor, outdoor and virtual golfing partner.
Thanks!

From L-R...mystry78, eingmund & mrcaddie
MC
pdb1
22,329 Posts Mon, Feb 6 2017 9:16 AM
Wow . Wayne . How cool is that ?
Yes a GR8 example of the goodwill and humanity and an endless list of positive ramifications and future good things .
That has and will result from PaulTon's efforts from his magnificent Memorial Annual Event .
Right On , Cheers and Kudo's .

I'm still playing with friends I made during that event . Some new . Some long overdue .
PaulTon
10,730 Posts Mon, Feb 6 2017 11:21 AM
How cool is that!?
That has genuinly made my day, thank's for sharing the news.
craigswan
20,896 Posts Mon, Feb 6 2017 12:02 PM
Great stuff guys .
alanti
10,563 Posts Mon, Feb 6 2017 2:39 PM
PaulTon:
How cool is that!?
That has genuinly made my day, thank's for sharing the news.
Mine too.....an awesome outcome. Kudos again to Paul and everyone who helped make this the BEST WGT event and it did bring the community together.
To Dennis....raises glass (well coffee cup////
bubbsboy
6,876 Posts Mon, Feb 6 2017 3:30 PM
Fantastic that news.
Must be great meeting friends from here in real life
Chuffed for you
opyeuclid
6,484 Posts Mon, Feb 6 2017 3:57 PM
Thats just way to cool ,
OPY
mystry78
879 Posts Mon, Feb 6 2017 3:58 PM
It was an absolute pleasure and a blast to meet Mr Caddie and Eingmund and play some sim golf. And this time I had my hat handed to me by both of them:)
I look forward to playing some real golf with these fine gentlemen this spring when the weather warms up around here.
Thanks again to Paul Ton for organizing this great event for our friend Andyson.
Frank

by **Paul** Thu 08 Dec 2022, 11:21 pm

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mkg335
5,491 Posts

Wed, Dec 16 2015 3:09 PM

On a somewhat related note, Writhing & Moaning is the name of the law firm that represented me when I was charged with Petty Puberty, an obscure statute that makes it illegal to transport trained female seals across state lines for immoral porpoises.

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MBaggese
15,356 Posts

Wed, Dec 16 2015 5:53 PM

mkg335:
On a somewhat related note, Writhing & Moaning is what I do on a nightly basis, having relations with myself is a tiring ordeal

Fixed Mark. Wink

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alanti
10,563 Posts

Wed, Dec 16 2015 9:30 PM

mkg335:

On a somewhat related note, Writhing & Moaning is the name of the law firm that represented me when I was charged with Petty Puberty, an obscure statute that makes it illegal to transport trained female seals across state lines for immoral porpoises.

Have you gone barking mad?
YancyCan
3,023 Posts Wed, Dec 16 2015 9:35 PM
mkg335
5,491 Posts Wed, Dec 16 2015 11:28 PM

alanti:

mkg335:

On a somewhat related note, Writhing & Moaning is the name of the law firm that represented me when I was charged with Petty Puberty, an obscure statute that makes it illegal to transport trained female seals across state lines for immoral porpoises.

Have you gone barking mad?

Luckily the Governor gave me his seal of approval.
alanti
10,563 Posts Wed, Dec 16 2015 11:55 PM

mkg335:
Luckily the Governor gave me his seal of approval.

I am not so sure. I think he would sea your lyin
mkg335
5,491 Posts Thu, Dec 17 2015 12:29 AM
Where did you find that pic? That's the son of a beach that turned me in!
alanti
10,563 Posts Thu, Dec 17 2015 1:20 AM

mkg335:

Where did you find that pic? That's the son of a beach that turned me in!

Crickey....thats enough to make you want to krill that son of a beach. I will even join in and we can have a whale of a time
PaulTon
10,731 Posts Thu, Dec 17 2015 4:29 AM
My brother, PlankTon, would love this thread.
CEverett12
14,177 Posts Thu, Dec 17 2015 5:01 AM
I can sea why , hahahah SORRY man I couldn't resist ..
YankeeJim
25,827 Posts Thu, Dec 17 2015 5:18 AM

mkg335:

Oh yeah? How about this neigh-saying bastige...

AH'll do the thinnin' round here, Bobbalouie. :-D

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oneeyedjohn
9,474 Posts

Thu, Dec 17 2015 5:22 AM

Ain't no
for humour here
lvietri
3,326 Posts Thu, Dec 17 2015 6:57 AM
Andy .. your one sick puppy ...
Regardless I'm honored to be in it. Although in real life - I dance better.
mkg335
5,491 Posts Thu, Dec 17 2015 10:10 AM
Sing along with me...
I want a gill just like the gill that married dear old shad...
MBaggese
15,356 Posts Thu, Dec 17 2015 7:48 PM

frappefort:

To bad i can not see your Video MB..... it is close here in this country for copyrights or something lollll

Dang Francois, I don't know a way around that...will try to send ya via PM:)

by **Paul** Tue 13 Dec 2022, 8:25 pm

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Howeee1
486 Posts

Tue, Dec 13 2022 1:35 PM

I remember being at St. Andrews 32 years ago and woke up to wind and rain. My wife(ex) laughed and said I guess you can't play golf. Played 36 holes that day and had a most memorable experience. Back then it cost me 15 dollars to play and 15 dollars for a top caddie. The caddie made such a great experience even greater.
Howeee1

I hope you have enjoyed this WGT POETRY , QUOTES , MOMENTS , and MORE .

Chances are I will continue to add to it .

by **Paul** Tue 07 Feb 2023, 1:18 pm

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Tony08888
348 Posts

Tue, Dec 28 2021 4:24 AM

Unfortunately the 3 wood is a pitiful must,
for a halfway decent par 5 score post,
The only thing is the programming sucks,
a slight mis-ding and the shot is a muck.

Apparel will help the distance quite nicely,
yet a hook or a shank most likely await thee.
Though it’s a great tool for punch out of rough,
as the distance you reach isn’t that tough.

Yet if it is forgiveness and precision you seek,
practice will not make perfect with a club this bleak.
The programmers out did themselves making a joke,
or was it on purpose by a disgruntled bloke.

HamdenPro
1,846 Posts

Tue, Dec 28 2021 7:16 AM

1

I love my 3 wood, I truly do.
It’s unfortunate, the club’s not for you.
I have a suggestion, if you will permit,
Consider for once, your to blame, just a bit.
I would just keep trying till you get the hang of it.

But, if it does not work out, at all for you,
I will tell you now, what do to.
Take that 3 wood, that you think may stink,
Sell it back and buy me some Volviks in pink.

And, while you are at it, what the heck
Sell all your clubs back, since the game is a wreck,
Take those credits and spread the cheer,
Buy everyone gifts for the upcoming year.

Honestly, I think you should stay,
Practice more, and improve your play,
I know your good, a Champion they say
I think your just disgruntled, so just chill for the day.
For if you blame WGT, they will make you pay.

You will hit slices and hooks, into bunkers and brooks
You will lose many balls and coins to the crooks,
Lose lots of coins, and not just a few,
So be ever so careful, whatever you do.

I would be nice to the programmers, they are trying their best,
I know what your thinking, surely I jest
But now I’m off moderation, it took so long,
I am trying to be nice, I don’t want to go wrong,

So, I keep complaints to myself, and praise WGT
So far it has worked, as you plainly see,
For when I post, it appears right away,
Which is better than waiting for more than a day,

Maybe it's you, or maybe your ball.

but does it really matter?
It is just game after all.

I have to go now, and get some work done,
I would love to continue but I really must run,
To sum it all up, the point is to have fun

HamdenPro
Grrrr...
I was in an online, remote, conference on Teams when I wrote that real quick like, when someone I did not want to listen too was speaking. I had opened a small window for Word.
Sometimes when working in Word, the program auto checks and makes changes, not always the correct ones. Unfortunately, I did not go back over and check before I cut, pasted and posted.
Since we are fairly new friends, I will overlook the pointing out mistakes. I do recall, once, a member of my club pointed out grammatical errors in one my club forum post, may he R.I.P.
Fill in any blanks you want - LOL
P.S. Hope you had a wonderful holiday.

HamdenPro
1,846 Posts

Wed, Mar 23 2022 3:21 PM

Bags are not cheap, but I had one,
When flash ended, I had none,
WGT said we will get them back
It's been over a year and I kept track.

I think they want us to forget,
if we make enough noise they will soon regret.
It is crazy it has taken so long
For not crediting us back is just plain wrong.

It seems to me, they do not know how,
and at this point in time, I want my credits back now!
I have not complained, trying to show some restraint
But in the end, patient I ain't.
I WANT MY BAG, OR GIVE ME MY CREDITS!!!!!!!!!

P.S. Yes Dodgy, "ain't" is a word.

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HamdenPro
2,003 Posts

Fri, Dec 24 2021 8:15 AM

GOOOOOOOOOD MORNNNNNING WGT….
Ahhhh, nothing beats waking up in the morning, knowing you do not have to go to work
.
Looked outside and was happy to see fresh snow. The first real snow of the season for us and it could not have come at a more perfect time.

I was feeling so good, and, usually, when I am in such moods, I think silly things and laugh to myself, today was no different so here’s Yancy the Elf.

I hope you enjoy -

Twas the night before Christmas, and on CB number nine
The greenskeeper was laughing, whilst he hid hole eight’s sign;

Laughing at us, I will wager a bet,
Mio gonna be pissed, and OPY upset;

While he giggled and mumbled and thought to himself,
Yancy appeared, all dressed as an elf;
What are you doing, you know that’s not right;
The greenskeeper grinned, and laughed at the sight;

He tipped his hat, and gave nod and a wink,
What am I doing, what do you think;
I am hiding these signs, to make it real tough;
I’m thinkin of stashing them in 70 degree rough;

Oh Yancy he said, you abandoned the quest,
So go away large elf, your becoming a pest;
Yancy pointed his finger, glared and shook his head,
“If they find out, you know you are dead”,

Yancy shouted, lectured and scolded the man;
Using words and whatnots as only he Can;
It took years to find seven, and he gave him a slap;
Stop it at once, stop all of this crap;

The greenskeeper shook, and stomped on the ground;
The signs shall be hidden, and never to be found;
As Yancy continued to clear the night air;
The greenskeeper stood there with a blank stare;

Now listen to me, the Greenskeeper said,
You leave me alone, and you go back to bed,
I will hide my signs as I do please;
As he grabbed Yancy’s neck and began to squeeze;

Yancy fought back with such might and strength;
Picked the greenskeeper up, and held him at length;
Now you listen to me, and you listen well;
You put number 8 sign back or I will go tell,

So the groundskeeper did what he knew was right,
Then turned to Yancy and wished him good night,
Are the signs still there, I do not know
I will look for them later, after I play in the snow.

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!!!
Don't forget to Look for Scott in the XMAS game thread. I have been thinking, I might just do a weekly WHERE'S SCOTT - Why? You may ask - It was actually quite fun cutting and pasting those hats on all those cats.
Oh, if you had not noticed, Scott was hidden in the picture of Yancy at Coachella...it is in the previous page of this thread.
Now, if no one saw that, there is no way we are going to find the signs.

by **Paul** Tue 14 Feb 2023, 8:58 am

Let's Be Honest

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SweetiePie
4,925 Posts

Sat, Sep 13 2014 11:19 AM

I must offer my thruthful thankfulness for the comments. Of course, as everyone knows, Rich (Renni) and Francois (Frapp) are throughbreds in the art of human kindness...wgt treasures. And Mr. Spy #88 is likewise a gracious wordsmith who asked a couple of questions. My current HDCP is at 6-7, it has been lower, but unlikely to go there again :-{
I live in the Sand Canyon area of Santa Clarita, Calif. Within the city we have choices. Closest to me is Robinson Ranch, 36 holes, the Mountain Course & the Desert layout. Both tough, excellent condition. And then we have TPC Valencia, which is 18 holes, likewise demanding, and in superb condition. Along with these two we have Vista Valencia which provides an 18 hole executive layout of difficult 3s & 4s at par 61. It is partnered with "Chica", a challange of nine par 3s. I play all of them from time to time. I play most often at Valencia CC. I started there, hold membership and love and know it. It is a 1967 Trent Jones jr layout than can brace any swing or talent. It is where Tiger Woods suffered his first play-off loss as a pro in the LA Open, I think. It played host to the "old goats" in the Toshiba for a spell and Gary McCord claimed there was not a finer conditioned golf course anywhere nor better greens...considering the vast number of golf courses he has announced at, I would consider his words as quite a compliment...he should know...Also, I sometimes go elsewhere. My "pop" has a place at the Vintage Club in Indian Wells CA, so I go down there from time to time. The "Skins Game" was once played there back in the day. He has a property in Tulsa I go to at times and he belongs to Tulsa CC which is an old Tillinghast track that is top notch and a blast to play. While there, I play at Southern Hills CC, and sometimes trek a little north and play Prairie Dunes in Kansas.

MichaelStroke:
Even Jesus doesn't fit your criteria for a man, unless the Son of God was an unknown master of the knock-knock joke. Needless to say, I fall short on the "true gentleman" front because I firmly believe that good guys finish last.
Any chance you wear glasses? :D

Well Mr. Stroke, I had laser treatment to 20/15 vision, which greatly enhances seeing on the golf course, but at times require the aide of reading glasses.
Jesus was pretty stupendous. Considering he never wrote a book, never drew any pictures, never played music; and yet there is nobody, not one mind you, in the history of our world that has more books, paintings or songs written about them...ever. The Holy Ghost is my best friend.
I also thank you Michael, and say that I read your postings, enjoy them, and hope they continue. :-} ~ SP ~

by **Paul** Tue 14 Feb 2023, 9:03 am

Let's Be Honest

2 - WGT POETRY , QUOTES , MOMENTS , & MORE - Page 2 U2273084_20200528_134820.jpg?0.158

PaulTon
10,731 Posts

Thu, Aug 22 2013 6:11 AM

Well you wanted honesty, pull up a chair, pour a stiff drink and cross your legs -
About 6 months ago I started to feel a bit of pain in my left testicle, on inspection I discovered a small swelling at the top of it. Fearing the worst I immediately went to the doctor. He diagnosed epididymitis and assured me it wasn't cancer. This is an infection in the tubes that carry sperm.Mine was triggered by a urinary tract infection. The treatment for this is months of oral antibiotics, It didn't work for me and the condition has gotten worse, I have now developed a whole bunch of cysts around the area. In fact the swollen part is now bigger than the testicle it is attached to.So for 5 months I have been in extreme pain and frankly am struggling to cope with it. Imagine being kicked in the balls every half hour and having your tubes flicked every ten minutes in between.
I have been on heavy painkillers for months now, which in itself is a bit of a worry, due to my past battles with narcotics but I realise I can't cope without them just now. I will just have to cross that bridge when I come to it.
I am scheduled for surgery on the 19th of this month, and if I'm honest, I am shitting myself. Here's a rundown of the procedure -

Treatment of epididymal cysts

You will usually only need treatment if the epididymal cysts cause you pain and discomfort.

Surgery

The most common method of treating epididymal cysts is to surgically remove them. The operation is usually done under general anaesthesia, which means you will be asleep during the procedure. Alternatively, you may be able to have local anaesthesia and sedation. This completely blocks pain in your *** and you will stay awake during the operation.
Your surgeon will make a small cut in your *** to reach the cyst. He or she will then separate the cyst from the tissue that surrounds it. The epididymis and the cut on your *** will be closed with dissolvable stitches. The length of time your dissolvable stitches will take to disappear depends on what type you have. However, for this procedure they should usually disappear in about seven to 10 days.
As with every procedure, there are some risks associated with the surgical treatment of epididymal cysts. The possible complications include an unexpected reaction to the anaesthetic, infection, excessive bleeding and accidental injury to the epididymis. There is also a chance the epididymal cysts may reoccur.
Sounds like fun eh?
So in conclusion, what I have described is far more common in middle aged men than testicular cancer. So guys, if you have any doubts whatsoever in that department, do not panic, but definitely GET IT CHECKED OUT!!

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