by Paul Sun 11 Dec 2022, 12:03 pm
WGT National Enquirer Comic Contest! 18 pages
PAGE 1 - 4 OF 18
- Here's your chance to contribute to the May WGT National Enquirer!
Post here, on this thread, what you think President Obama and his Chief of Staff were talking about in the Oval Office in the photo below.
The best entry will be featured on the cover of the next Enquirer.
The deadline for submissions is Saturday April 30 at 11:59:59 PM Pacific Daylight Time.
Entries will be judged on originality, relevancy, and humor. Multiple entries are allowed. Campaigning is allowed. The only thing not allowed really is changing the photo below.
Decision of the judge, me, is final mostly. And I reserve editorial right to modify your entry to fit the bubble, etc.
Let's see 'em people!
Example:
Chief of Staff: Mr. President, sir there are still problems with our Economy!
President Obama: Been working on an idea....how does Tiers, Levels, and Credits sound?
Hmmmm, good idea, Andy. Tom Sawyer got his fence painted that way. ;-)
COS: Mr. President I need your help. There's more naysayers in my town than I realized.
PO: No problem Rahm, I'll dispatch my special envoy Snaike to slap them down.
CoS: Barack you noob! How many times must I tell you with that wind you need 190 1/4 TS and make sure you click early if anything!
Pres: I swear that is what I hit! Every damn time it deviates 50 yards short into the water...hmmm
CoS: Well Barrack, looks like the Press is starting to complain about you spending to much time out on the golf course! Pres: Darn Rahm! Good thing they don't know about my 237 consecutive days on WGT!!
COS: I told you boss... Clear your caches, both of them, get Google Chrome, and for the love of God, use GameBooster2!
POTUS: Can't be! This is the best computer the taxpayers can buy! It ~HAS~ to be WGT's servers.
COS: Sir, we are under nuclear attack.
President Obama: God Darn it Rob, i thought i told you to sell them the bombs with WGT meter guidance systems.
POTUS:
I was in the middle of a tournament round and I got metered ! Tell the IRS to audit MisterWGT. Put NASA on the twitchy meter. I want the NSA to look into VEM !
COS:
B.O. I'm the Mayor of Chicago now, you need Bill Daley.
POTUS:
Andyson doesn't know that apparently. He's too busy making a fool out of StrangeMagic with his SuperDuper PhotoShop thingy.
COS
Sir,its beyond daylight and all the chairs are taken,we have to act!
PRES
Be honest with me now,you've been reading another Rossetti post havent you?
----- -------------- ------------- ------------------- ---------- --------------------------------------- --------
COS
Mr President Sir,trade defecit shows a 32% fall,the defence budget is almost dry,short stocks have just gone long and NYC is claiming independance.What shall we do?
PRES
Get me Steelsings.
SM, LOL, he's still only Mayor-Elect and I hear he keeps visiting Obama!
Rahm: But sir, it was a 37 footer!
Barak: No excuses Rahm, when I say concede, you concede!
----------------------------------------------
Rahm: I'm sorry sir, the Deviations don't want you.
Barak: @#&%! Tell Bollox I'll make him ambassador to Jamaica. If that doesn't work, put him on the No Fly List!
- COS: Mr Obama, your press conference was scheduled to begin 15 minutes ago, get your ass down here.
Pres: Can't you see I'm busy? If I par 9 I will finish tied for 48th in the weekly single play, .1 credits we can knock off the national debt.
CoS: Wow WGT has 4 million players Sir? Wow thats a lot of potential votes! Pres: Yep, I think I'll bail them out and give all the players unlimited Callaways!
COS: You mind taking a few seconds to sign off on a couple documents?
Pres: GTFO of my face! This match play against Kadafi is for control of Libya, and next time read the do not disturb sign on the door!
CoS: Indict the owners of WGT for money laundering and gambling? Thats a little extreme don't you think sir? Pres: I'll teach those SOB's to meter MY ass!
COS: Kerplunk! Another one in the drink eh boss?
PRES: Look at my score, -7. How else am I going to stay in the hack tier forever?
I think BIB and Six are lobbying for a job-hire them, great stuff. :-D
COS: Sir, we've had a number of letters of complaint from a number of WGT players, Priestess, Infinito, JaLaBar and a few others wanting to know why their profile pictures aren't on your wall?
PO: Well, hell, I don't have any more room. Visitors will start thinking I do nothing else but play golf all day long. Who are they anyway?
CoS: What do you mean you want a HOI on Kiawah 18, sir? Pres: I mean get WGTicon on the line, I want the "Button"!!
Rahm: Yes, Mr. President, we need a new revenue stream, but these ... these ...
Barack: Breathing fees? An optional enhancement of the living experience!
PO: Get me the presidential check book, I am not going to play those TruCartoon mickey mouse courses.
COS: Another loan?
PO: Loan! This is of huge national importance. It's bigger than Watergate.
- CoS: Sorry sir, sixkiller says you don't qualify for the WGT Senior Tour. Pres: @#^*$!# another damn Birther!
I demand a much more important position on the wall.
COS: Mr President, they're on to us, the players at WGT know we're the creators of all the Cheez accounts.
PO: Don't worry, Icon lets them through.
COS:Sir our country wants to know why you're raising taxes under our current inflation and Budget problem,seems to be a suprising topic of late.
Mr.Pres: Well I had no Choice,when Calloway golf balls reached the 300cr mark and Clevland wedges surpassed the 800+cr. mark,I felt there was no other way I was going to be able to afford WGT anymore.I mean my budget is tapped!
COS
Coffee sir?
PRES
Anan?what does he want? tell him the french did it
COS: Mr. Pres. we know it's been in beta for 5 years, but the masses @ WGT demand better balls.
Pres.: Ain't going to find any balls here in D.C, have them check with a few of the Republican Governors.
COS: Sir, the latest projections are in, gas is expected to hit $5/gal by the 4th of July.
PRES: Really? Who gives a sh*t about gas prices when they are charging 1$ per 9 at Cabo Del Sol!
CoS: Jeez sir really? a 53 on Oakmont? Pres: yep! now leave me alone while i start the back 9!
COS: Got a letter here from little Timmy in NY asking if you could change anything in the world, what would it be?
PRES: Hrm, lets see, probably that damn pin on 9 Oakmont!
CoS: So Sir what do think of Cabo Del Sol? Pres: Well for one thing those more fortunate players should pay $3.00!
- COS: Mr President, Cabo del sol has been obliterated.
PO: I know Rob, im seeing the pictures here now.
WGTicon:I demand a much more important position on the wall.
LMAO! That would be against the T&C of this thread.
"The only thing not allowed really is changing the photo below."
Cos: Sorry sir, nothing we can do about your average on WGT. Pres: WTF!, we can juggle the numbers on everthing else!
COS: Err, whats with the drink on the table Sir?
PO: Im planning on retiring early Rob.
COS: Sir, we have a Mr Chad Nelson on the phone for you.
PO: That man has some BALLS ringing me after the round i just had.
CoS: Well sir, what do you think of WGT? Pres: Well 1st off, these damn forum posts have got to go! Get the FCC on it ASAP!!
StrangeMagic:Andyson doesn't know that apparently. He's too busy making a fool out of StrangeMagic with his SuperDuper PhotoShop thingy.
now thats funny
-G
COS
mr president, yancy is looking into your birth certificate, this could be trouble
PRES
look here, get on the phone, call the aliens and have him abducted next time hes playin St. A's back 9
COS
WGT players are threatning strike over the meter issue again.How will we avert it this time?
PRES
Start charging the damn suckers.Call my contact at Trugolf.
COS ..... "shot"
Pres .... "tks"
END OF PAGE 4
PAGES 5 - 18 HERE
WGT National Enquirer Comic Contest! 
Paul- Admin
- Posts : 31393
Join date : 2013-05-06
-
by Paul Tue 20 Dec 2022, 10:31 am
- COS ... "Sir the Joint Chiefs have been waiting for 10 minutes for the daily security update"
Pres ... "I thought I'd be done by now, Vic (Coolswing) is taking forever in between shots"
Pres: Man, I got to say this female golfer is gorgeous, think I will take some tax dollars and buy her some pink golf balls
Cos: You know that golfer is a G.IR.L, right?
CoS: Why do you spend too much time on the stupid game?
Pres: So I can be respected in at least communit in my life, a man needs happiness and national debt.
COS: You called Mr President?
PO: Yes I did. Do you see this - water hazard. I want that water hazard removed.
PO: Why haven't we got Yancyland Par 2.5 on WGT yet?
COS: Well Mr President, it takes a long time to do all the photography work, then they've got to take it back and do all the overlays and the coding. It takes up to 2 years to get that done.
PO: For one hole?!
Pres: Ya know, I wish I had a dime for every ball hit into that water hazard on KAI #17.
COS: You do Sir, it's part of your contract with WGT.
Pres: Oh ya, right, HA HA, then I order heavy winds to the right all of the time.
COS: How come you are still buying those sports drinks, you are already level 98.
PRES: I drink it for the taste, not the points.
COS ,, Yes Sir you called
PO , Find this " ANDYSON "
PO: Did you get a hold of Lizzie? We were suppose to tee off an hour ago.
COS: No sir, Lambert said she was much to busy pondering next months wardrobe and suggested that you re-schedule sometime next week.
- CoS: I see you hit another one into the lake there, Sir. Pres: Yeah well its CTTH, I'm going for the water bonus!
Rahm: The American people don't want another Iraq, Mr. President.
Barack: No worries. I'll release Libya as a CTTH conflict.
COS: Sir, we are supposed to be in Congress.............
PO: Hell yes Rob, but WGT keep delaying the release date.
COS: I see your using the new ball retriever sir.
PO: Yesiree.
COS: But does it have to be 1 of our SUBS?
Rahm: Yo, Mr. Prez, we can still swing you an invite to the royal shindig with Kate and Wills...
Barack: Not for this common man, Rahm! And miss Yancy's live feed of Lizzie and SM gittin' hitched and such up there on the Bethpage Black?!
COS: But Sir, if it's in the water hazard it's a lost ball whether you can reach it or not.
PO: Listen you ass, you tell WGT I want my balls back or I'll have their balls! Got it!
COS: Mr. President - the final reports are in. We found no WMD's in Afghanistan.
Pres: I never understood why we were looking for Wobbly Meter Disruptions in Afghanistan in the first place. They are all right here on WGT - just ask Jake !!!
COS: Mr. President - have you heard the news ? Seveking has declared no Ryder Cup this year.
Pres: Dam those Spaniards, they've been looking to "F" us since 1898. Free up my calendar, Rahm. Looks like another global mission for the good old U.S. of A. "Remember the Maine".
Excuse me Mr President, but the recent polls show you lagging in the upcoming re-election.
Nonsense, I have the most influential lobbyist and campaign donors, that tax dollars can buy! Just look on my wall, all of them owe me...........ahh pardon the interruption sir, but we have a slight situation with your.....ahhum "friends".
What's you talking about Willis?
Well sir, Mr WGT.....Oh you mean Chad? Very nice and personable fellow, who keeps his patrons well informed of company policies and plans for expansion. I understand he quelled a boycott, by those grumbling s.o b's, about green fee's. See if he's interested in a position of my cabinet.......yes sir.
Oh and Ms Lizzie is demanding, she will not share the same bathroom and closet with the First Lady, on her monthly "visits" Then you go abroad and expect Royalty.
Now when Magic' caught wind of Ms Lizzie's escapades, he started up his own local tea-party.
Bollox' wasn't real thrilled when he learned of the 50% luxury tax on that $70mil Mazarati.
Mio is still waiting for that writ of diplomatic immunity for free speech.
oneputt was denied a name change when he listed you as a character witness.
And what about my old friend Yancy?....Well sir every since you allowed him a tour of Area 51,he found the Alien isolation ward. Haven't seen nor heard from him since.
So sir, thats it in a nutshell. No wait I forgot about Icon!......... Oh yes my personal favorite. We're like two peas in a pod. We never let the masses know who we really are!
this is great, wgters with a sense of humor. no cursing (just a little) and no one insulting each other.
way to go andyson
-G
zagraniczniak:Rahm: The American people don't want another Iraq, Mr. President.
Barack: No worries. I'll release Libya as a CTTH conflict.
My personal favorite so far! Very nice.
COS: Mr. President, I’m afraid you can’t achieve legend tier by Executive Order
President: Then we’ll start over. Let’s open an account called CheezObama
CoS: Sir, what shall we do about the andyson problem? Pres: I'm thinking of either WGT Czar.........or Gauntanamo!
COS; Mr President, sir, could you please, please gift me some balls. I promise I will gift you back when I get seated. Or I could put a dress on for you. I'm in between jobs. Please?
PO: This is beneath you, Rahm, let me show you the surveys.
lvietri:COS: Mr. President - the final reports are in. We found no WMD's in Afghanistan.
Pres: I never understood why we were looking for Wobbly Meter Disruptions in Afghanistan in the first place. They are all right here on WGT - just ask Jake !!!
COS: I'm sorry Mr. President, Jake went underground and into seclusion, no one has been able to contact him in weeks. And our intelligence has informed me he has huge following of rebels.
Pres: You mean he pulled a "Bobby Fisher"?
COS: Yes sir, WGT has issued a gag order on him, before a rebellion starts over the exist- stance of "WMD's".
COS: Sir, Yancy is looking through that hole in the wall again.
PO: I see him, get Agents Mulder and Scully to look into it.
Can I just say: Best. Thread. Ever.
Annoying I can't think of anything funny though...
I'm flabbergasted by the quality and sheer number of entries so far. 61 in 24 hrs! Keep it up guys and gals! Its already going to be a tough decision to choose just one!
- CoS: Sir, bad news, your approval rating has dropped below 50%! Pres: Screw that! my G.I.R. is up to 76%!!
andyson:I'm flabbergasted by the quality and sheer number of entries so far. 61 in 24 hrs! Keep it up guys and gals! Its already going to be a tough decision to choose just one!
Just wait until the rest of the "heavy hitters" respond? andy. The servers may have to shut down for a spell, due to an overload of their systems.
cos: so mr obama sir how many profiles you got nowadays?
po: well i've now got 11, my newest one is called sexybabe2011, i only accept male invites and i do like to been given gifts, especially pink b-xd golf balls!
gordon
andyson:I'm flabbergasted by the quality and sheer number of entries so far. 61 in 24 hrs! Keep it up guys and gals! Its already going to be a tough decision to choose just one!
Way I see it,thats one happy person and 60 lost souls baying for editorial blood.
Two things then.One: I have overly developed canines,very sharp and cutting.Ask Lambert. Two. There is a time and place for love and loyalty.I trust we understand each other Andrew darling?
Your Sweetheart
Lizzie xx
Pres: Rahm, how the hell did Oneputtdavid get on my wall? CoS: Remember sir, we had to, otherwise he was going to delete you from his friends list!
CoS: Sir the masses are getting tired of your arrogant attitude! Pres: Whaaaaat? Me being just a common man and what not, mayhap I should do a tootorial on my humble cordialables.
LizzieRossetti:andyson:I'm flabbergasted by the quality and sheer number of entries so far. 61 in 24 hrs! Keep it up guys and gals! Its already going to be a tough decision to choose just one!
Way I see it,thats one happy person and 60 lost souls baying for editorial blood.
Two things then.One: I have overly developed canines,very sharp and cutting.Ask Lambert. Two. There is a time and place for love and loyalty.I trust we understand each other Andrew darling?
Your Sweetheart
Lizzie xx
Can this veiled threat seriously be considered as campaigning? LMAO!
sixkiller:Pres: Rahm, how the hell did Oneputtdavid get on my wall? CoS: Remember sir, we had to, otherwise he was going to delete you from his friends list!
Pres: Damn him, Andy! Just make sure that it doesn't leak out, that his promised "pledge" of a complete set of R11 woods, i15 irons, Cleveland wedge's, Ghost putter, and 10 sleeves each of Calloway S and Z balls, along with that Stars & Stripes Avatar is not made public.
COS
About those pics mr.pres why is the kid looking stunned and Mr.WGT looking the other way now?
Pres
Watching the water hazard? Mr was looking towards me intently until the kid happily told me to clear all caches.
Paul- Admin
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Join date : 2013-05-06
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by Paul Tue 20 Dec 2022, 10:42 am
andyson:The only thing not allowed really is changing the photo below.
So, not that I'm campaigning or anything, but those four entries that added wording inside the balloons, should be disqualified, forthwith! J/K!
ThreeSpot:Rahm: I'm sorry sir, the Deviations don't want you.
Barak: @#&%! Tell Bollox I'll make him ambassador to Jamaica. If that doesn't work, put him on the No Fly List!
Pres: Any word back from Bollox yet? CoS: He said, "Jamaica?...... Deal!"
Rahm: You want me to utilize the FBI, NSA and the CIA, sir?
President: Damn straight - I lost my connection and someone posted on my wall that I'm a POS quitter!! Find him!! And..ummm...what does POS mean?
CoS: Sir, the latest polling data indicates you have lost the support of Independents, Seniors, and Moderates! Pres: @#%^!*& Quitters!!
granvillle808: COS: Mr. President, I’m afraid you can’t achieve legend tier by Executive Order
President: Then we’ll start over. Let’s open an account called CheezObama
Excellent!
A " water hazard " my ass, someone whizzed on my laptop again i see. Is that a grin on your face ?
COS: Wow, Mr. Pres. that's 3 balls in a row in the water !!!
Pres: Dam --- Get the Army Corps of Engineers over to Kia 17 and FILL IN THAT F'ING LAKE ... NOW !!!!!
LMAO. There's some funny stuff here.
Hello my name is Yancy.
Could you help out a common guy and let me know when does this end?
I would liike to submit sumpin. Just sayin.
Thank you
COS: Mr President, that Andyson guy is making a laughing stock out of us on WGT! He's created a caption competition which is the 2nd most popular thread after the TruCartoon fiasco.
PO: Can we pay him off? How much does he want? Or maybe we just knock him off. Get Chad on the phone.
- Here you go Yancy.
andyson:The deadline for submissions is Saturday April 30 at 11:59:59 PM Pacific Daylight Time.
cos,, Mr Woods called once more
PO,,That Jerk,, What part of " Tiger Woods Online SUCKS " does he not understand !
Cos: Whats up Barrack? You look flustered! Pres: Damn friends list activity is screwing my meter up! What was it Jake said about that?
PO: When am I going to get that super speedy server WGT promised me? I am sick and tired of meter skips, besides, that space I had cleared out for it next to the fireplace breaks my concentration. SEE!
Other Guy: There is a problem Sir. The funding for your special server project, "Operation Trugolf", has met with heavy resistance and it will take longer than expected to raise the capitol needed.
PO: CRAP!
Other Guy: That's what they call it Sir.
cos ,, Sir , you have been on that game all day
PO ,, your starting to sound like my wife
C .. Sir , We have info that Yancy has sent a " pine cone " in the mail .
Po ... A pine cone ? wtf ,, bet it has something to do with the Mother Ship
COS: Mr President, our Fighter Pilots are encountering Bogeys all over the place.
PO: Pfffff, they think they have problems.
PO: So there you have it Rob, my Hitlist is on the wall for all to see.
COS: Excuse me Sir, we are talking golf here, yes?
COS: "Well that's British Petroleum totally wiped off the planet, Sir."
PO: "WTF?!?!?...... I meant a blitz round on Bethpage Black, dumbass! "
;o)
- pres
yikes water hazard!!! one more dollar goes down the drain. You know any other place stocked with more public money than kiawah 17
COS
Fort knox perhaps?
PO: What would it take to be famous like those guys on my wall and have my picture up with them?
COS: [Laughs] You have to be smart. You don't stand a chance!
PO: Again in the water. That's really long from the man's tee. Hope i'll do better tomorrow on the course!
COS: I already book u for the lady's tee's mister president!!
PO: Do you think I'd play better if I shaved my off my moustache?
COS: We've tried everything else. I'll go get the razor.
PO: Call up Chad and tell him WGT need to create a new award - Total Number of Balls in Water Award.
COS: Yeah, 25,000 for Diamond - I see you have just got that one!
hahhahhahahaahhahahahhahahaha
COS: WOW, you really cut the ass off that ball with the Cleveland wedge sir.
PO: He he he, sure did Rob, organise a game with Mr Chad Nelson, I think I have another reason to use them.
sixkiller:andyson:The only thing not allowed really is changing the photo below.
So, not that I'm campaigning or anything, but those four entries that added wording inside the balloons, should be disqualified, forthwith! J/K!
All in fun, six! 
lol
COS: Ive noticed all Chads friends have moved over to the other side of the room.
PO: Yeah, and have you noticed they left him with that crappy spider putter.
Is lvietri asleep? Where are the thread stats?
YankeeJim:Is lvietri asleep?
Let's just say he's taking a well-deserved nap.
CoS: Well Barrack, the firestorm of controversy over Trugolf-Cabo seems to have simmered down. Pres: I'll fix that, tell Trugolf to roll out Sawgrass!
PO: Have you found StrangeMagic's island yet?
COS: No Sir. We've been in contact with the writers of Lost to find out about this moving of islands thing.
COS: Mr President ... you look very uncomfortable sitting there playing WGT. Does your butt hurt ?
Pres: It's all part of my plan Rob. Ever since Tiger swore off women ... well he still has needs. He's cute, rich and can close the budget deficit all by himself !!!
Pres
Damn!missed that hole again.Guess oval office is not that lucky for me
COS
Like the wgt pros always say Hit it hard and straight.Practice,practice,practice.Take advice from pros like Bill and Monica.They had a pretty good record here.
lvietri:COS: Mr President ... you look very uncomfortable sitting there playing WGT. Does your butt hurt ?
Pres: It's all part of my plan Rob. Ever since Tiger swore off women ... well he still has needs. He's cute, rich and can close the budget deficit all by himself !!!
OMG !!
ROFLMAO !!!
Looks like lvietri woke up !
WigerToods2010:COS: "Well that's British Petroleum totally wiped off the planet, Sir."
PO: "WTF?!?!?...... I meant a blitz round on Bethpage Black, dumbass! "
;o)
This has to be near the top .. made me go to my backup keyboard, since I spit coffee all over the good one.
COS: Any luck spotting Bigfoot on Bethpage yet?
PRES: No, but I will not stop until I do. Now go fetch me some Red Bull, gonna be another all nighter.
Ha, how did I miss this until now???
You guys are all pretty clever, good chuckles!
COS: No, sir. that isn't a pool of oil, it says water hazard.
President Obama: I don't care, bomb WGT anyway! We need the practice and besides i lost two balls in there..........Pay to play cartoon golf, my a**.
Paul- Admin
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Join date : 2013-05-06
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by Paul Tue 20 Dec 2022, 10:51 am
- CoS: Sir, word is, you just made Lvietri's No Play list! Pres: @#$*%!, damn that HIO to win on Kiawah 18 must have made him suspicious! Good thing I already made that deal with Bolox!
Po ,,, Dam that IvaThongon is is hot !!!
C ,, what happens on WGT stay,s on WGT
C ,, Andyson is on the phone Sir ,,He want,s to know if you have seen his last post,, what should I tell him ?
PO ,, Who read,s the forums
Cos: Sir, Lvitrie just outed you and Tiger in the forum! Pres: That S.O.B. has got it in for me now. What was that line that Clinton used....?
COS: Mr President, let me explain to you why i play with pink balls.
President Obama: OK, go ahead. (Thinking to himself).....Don't laugh....DON'T LAUGH.....I'M GONNA LAUGH!!!!
COS : Sir, you've been playing this game for 237 consecutive days, why do you still suck so bad?
Pres: DAMNIT its cuz i'm left-handed and this POS keeps trying to hit right-handed!!
COS: Pres salamii is back
Pres good , hes been promising to show me places i could never imagine..
he mentioned something about a curse too? Any ideas about that??
COS: Sir, Icon says his picture should be next to Chads. But I told him that would blow our covert operation. He sounded befuddled and confused!
Pres: You mean no one told him, he's a "Bug"?
Ha-haaaaaaaa! :]]
COS: Mr president, I'm been followed by a strange white bubble hovering over my head for the last few days.
PO: SSSHHH Rob, me too. We will take WGT's way of doing things, ignore it, and hope it goes away.
COS: Ahh, i see now. So they are all your aliases on the wall Sir?
PO: They sure are Rob, gona start me a new 1 now.
Cos: Mr. President please we need to get into the meeting on health care talks.....
Pres: Ive got that all worked out...in the Elite collection it will only take 1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 credits to make it work and Bollox and Priestess have half of what we need.
CoS: Sir, this WGT National Enguirer thing has made you a laughing stock! Pres: Well, I was doing pretty good on my own before...
COS: Sir, Mrs. Obama says shes going to leave you if you don't stop playing WGT all the time.
President Obama: I'm sure gonna miss her. Now get out, i'm in the middle of a game.
COS: Sir, the Vice-President says that the country is more important than a silly game like WGT.
President Obama: Well, well. Guess who's not gonna be Vice-President in my next term.
Pres: Rahm, I want to issue an Excecutive Order. Abolish this thread, and make that andyson a Political prisoner.
COS: On what grounds, Sir? I'm not quite sure you have the power to do that. Freedom of Speech is one of the first ammendments in the Bill of Rights.
Pres: Minor detail Rahm, I've fooled them once, I can do it again!
COS: Yes sir....that is your MO!
CoS: " Your hazardcarrot, Sir. Water? "
Pres: " Grmmmbbbbllllllll "
Selby05
Well, Mr. Civilized, peace can also be used interjectionally, as a request, greeting or farewell. So, try to find another way to be an ***, if you don't know your, grammar, that is. Peace.
PO: I've had a brilliant idea to keep me in office. We will create new Terms and Conditions to 'remove' anyone who thinks freedom of speech is acceptable.
COS: May I say Sir that is a brilliant idea. You may want to remove the photograph of that furry thing off your wall too.
COS: Osama sir; The country awaits your decision to release strategic petroleum reserve barrels to relieve fuel costs, health car and education acts you signed into law are waiting for you to release funding, army corps of engineers are now on site at Kiawah 17, and you didnt show up at for your last state of the union speech.
PRES: Tell the army corps of engineers i want that lake drained by tomorrow mornings Kiawah tee time with yancy..........dont care about the other probs this country has, get me Marine One on the lawn, make sure the defense system is disabled so i have secure and continous access to all WGT servers, I want aerial photographs of every square foot on Congressional---get one of our best snipers on bollox, and stop calling me Osama, am I crystal clear?
- COS: Mr President sir,We will be late for the press conference to inform the nation that you propose to remain at the Whitehouse in the interests of National safety,rather than attending the Royal Wedding.We have to go now.
PRES: Quitter.
COS: Sir, excuse me for interrupting, but the Congressional Budget Office is questioning some White House office expenses for something called “imaginary” golf balls?
President: Yes, well...... that's… uhhhh.....errrrr.… classified. Bury it in the NSA black ops slush fund or someplace. And please don’t mention this to my wife.
COS: Sir Biden was sleeping at your State of the Union speech!
POTUS:
Yeah and I am reading about another one of his gaffe's:
"Stand up, Chuck, let 'em see ya." –-Joe Biden, to Missouri state Sen. Chuck Graham, who is in a wheelchair, Columbia, Missouri, Sept. 12, 2008
COS: What are we gonna do ?
POTUS: Tell him to reboot and clear his cache.
COS: I think you might want to remove Chad's picture from your wall of fame.
Pres: Why's that?
COS: The latest issue of WGT Enquirer's front page reads, he's just been nominated by the WGT Party of 4 million to oppose you in the 2012 election.
Pres: Hahaha....he hasn't got a chance in hell! He's got no platform. What can he promise that would top all my promises?
COS: Say's here...(through unidentified sources)... only promise is, he has ordered Chang to remove the preset "random activator" which interacts with the meter. Guarantees a smooth and steady meter every shot. He'll even refund your entire investment if not completely satisfied.
Pres: Damn him, thats not fair!.....Oh by the way Rahm don't get your heart set on becoming Mayor of Chi-town!
ThreeSpot:Rahm: But sir, it was a 37 footer!
Barak: No excuses Rahm, when I say concede, you concede!
----------------------------------------------
Rahm: I'm sorry sir, the Deviations don't want you.
Barak: @#&%! Tell Bollox I'll make him ambassador to Jamaica. If that doesn't work, put him on the No Fly List!
CoS: Mr President it looks like more people are listening to Donald Trump that we anticipated.
Pres: Send him a challenge to meet me on WGT, OH! and bye the way, set his swing indicator to "light speed." hee hee hee.
COS: But sir, i didn't quit because i was afraid to mess up my avg. or the fact that you were winning, look at my hand, no fingers.
President Obama: If its anything we hate worse here on WGT than a quitter, its a crybaby....Wah.....Wah....Wah.
COS: Excuse me Sir, but a player by the name of LazerL on WGT has somehow Blitzed congressional, twice.
PO: Get him on the phone Rob, if he can do it, why cant we?
lvietri:COS ..... "shot"
Pres .... "tks"
CLASSIC!
Pres: Who was the winner in that damn Comic Contest! CoS: One thing is for certain sir, it wasn't you!
sixkiller:Pres: Who was the winner in
that damn Comic Contest!
That did it Six!
Now I'm takin' names!
LOL!
andyson:sixkiller:Pres: Who was the winner in
that damn Comic Contest!
That did it Six!
Now I'm takin' names!
LOL!
But but but, it was the prez what done it!
CoS: Sir the nation is furious with you, and the polls show you are dead last or election.
PO: Not for long, time to bring out project Yancy!
Cos: Well sir, you will be happy to know the Comic Contest has come to an end! Pres: Call Michelle! Fire up Air Force One! I'm going to take a few days off and celebrate down at that Resort I bought. What was the name of it.........Cabo something?
"The deadline for submissions is Saturday April 30 at 11:59:59 PM Pacific Daylight Time."
Still more than 6 hours remaining Mr. President. Fire that COS!
PO: ACCOUNTABILITY! Say it with me, accountability. Someone needs to be held accountable for mistakes made at the highest levels of government and management.
Of course you agree with me.
COS: Yes sir.
PO:This whole fiasco with cartoon golf, meter stutter, heavy winds, my ball in the water, and what have you done about it? Absolutely nothing!
COS: BBuut, bbuut Sir?
PO: Be quiet, you disgust me and the people want action. So I make you accountable for all of this and your fired, and take that crappy putter with you when you leave. OH, and have a nice day.
PO: You are fired ,Rahm. When I say get metered, you better as heck get metered, or that meter prediction thing I bought from Icon is gonna be another million dollar defecit on the American's heads.
CoS: I didn't do anything wrong, sir.
PO: What part of YOU ARE FIRED don't you get, you digrace to the American people?
Damn! You all dinged this one!
The final count was 129 submissions! You are all winners in my book as there were lots of very original, very relevant, very funny entries! I've got my "not so short" list down to 20 right now. This is gonna be sooo hard to choose just one.
I'm crazy for asking this.......Would you all like this as a monthly thing?
andyson:I'm crazy for asking this.......Would you all like this as a monthly thing?
It was great fun andyson, Sure why not do it some more. Maybe change the characters to fit current events as needed!
sixkiller:Maybe change the characters to fit current events as needed!
Definitely! A new cartoon each month.
Paul- Admin
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by Paul Tue 20 Dec 2022, 10:57 am
andyson:Definitely! A new cartoon each month.
Provided the monthly publication of The Enquirer isn't compromised.
Priorities.....
YankeeJim:Provided the monthly publication of The Enquirer isn't compromised.
and it does not interfere or push back the release date! Which is when by the way?
I would humbly submit that it be released no later than the first Friday of the month, provided that it does not interfere with your work, personal life or poking fun at SM.
LMAO. Before you get buried by your own talents and our expectations Andyson, remember one thing.....this is all your own doing. 
sdorr:I would humbly submit that it be released no later than the first Friday of the month, provided that it does not interfere with your work, personal life or poking fun at SM.
I might need to outsource some of it to TruGolf to meet that schedule. Having trouble getting the pop-up ads a-workin' and whatnots mostly.
andyson:I might need to outsource some of it to TruGolf to meet that schedule. Having trouble getting the pop-up ads a-workin' and whatnots mostly.
Here it comes, Ladies and Gentlemen. How many more "free" editions are we getting before it turns into a credit grab? :-D
andyson:outsource some of it to TruGolf
CRAP! OK, whatever date works best for you cause ANDY knows best and we will not stand for compromise. Heck, next thing ya know you will be wanting to charge us for the blasted thing. I DID NOT just say that!
Yankee Jim beat me to it. So direct all obscenities to "Yankee Jim" c/o WGT. Thank you and have a nice day.
sdorr:So direct all obscenities to "Yankee Jim" c/o WGT.
I'll 2nd the motion for a monthly "National Inquirer tournament". ; )
Yep, would love to see this monthly. I had a blast reading all the entries. cool stuff people, well done.
After much deliberation with myself, gnashing of teeth, and wringing of hands I have chosen one of Sixkiller's and one of lvietri's contributions as co-winners and because I liked both so much I combined them into one Enquirer "article".
Look for the WGT National Enquirer May edition very, very, shortly.
Both Sixkiller and lvietri have received this unique, handcrafted, and very expensive WGT National Enquirer Comic Contest "Screwball" trophy..
- Never before have i been so proud of an award.
I'd like to thank Andy for publishing the monthly rag --- my friends, family and country club members for their ongoing support, and of course WGT for being such an easy target.
LOL, well done folks. Cant wait for the next 1.
AW GEE SHUCKS! Thank you Andy!
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